I felt the need to change. Why did I choose rocks? Well, I'll tell you why. Because I rock.

Amanda finally has her frickin' diploma. I am edgeukated.

That rocks.

I'm going to the Arlington Police Station today for training. They have a domestic violence response team. When a call comes into the pokey that there is a domestic disturbance, they send out a victim advocate with the copper (copper, Mr. Crime Stopper) to get help and information to the victim immediately. We are going to check out their program so that we can hopefully get the ball rolling for a program like that in Denton. There are just like 4 of us going, so it should actually be pretty fun.

I went ahead and bought a dress. I found one that was exactly like what I wanted my designer friend to make. Vic was with me and helped me pick it out. But that's fine for several reasons. #1 I am not superstitious at all, luck only exists in Vegas or when I really don't want the light to turn red when I'm running late. #2 He will forget by October what it looks like. #3 That girl in the picture was so damn skinny she made mannequins look porky. I will fill that bastard out to the max and it will completely different, we fat girls have that ability. Me and Twiggy could wear the exact same outfit and no one would notice. That needs to be added to my top 200 reasons being fat kicks ass.

I ordered 175 invitations today. It made it so real. Like I had to figure out how to word things and all. When Vic and I were in Lubbock we went to this little paper store and found some that were pretty cool, you know, like us...hee hee. We had her hold them and picked out the font and whatnot, but today I gave her my credit card (well, Bob's credit card) information. It made me instantly nervous. Before today we could have backed out of the big wedding thing, or worse yet, the whole thing. But now if I called it off I would be like Julia Roberts, not that I've seen Run Away Bride, but I know what she does. It's a good thing that I'm sure I want to get married! I keep thinking that it's a traditional wedding, but it's so not. I'm thinking of having my bridesmaid's wear funky ruffle dresses or capri pants, dressy ones of course. You will see that too when you get the invitation. It's gold with rose paper over it. And I don't believe in etiquette. Who cares whose name goes first and that you are supposed to spell out Street. If you are getting an invitation, then come and be merry...who really analyzes the wording? And if you do, I can recommend a good counselor....

In other news, I'm at work. My brother and Vic and Garry (Vic's friend) are at the baseball game. Mandy is at a study group for her final tomorrow. Now, it's a hard race...but I am so glad that I'm chilling alone at the domestic violence outreach office. I mean baseball, study group, or work....no contest here. They were worrying that it was going to rain, but it didn't. Maybe I will be in bed when they return so that I don't have to hear about who stole third or who got struck out.

Did yall know that laptops use 90% less energy than desktops? That's according to the April issue of Real Simple magazine. That's a lot less energy! We could probably light all of Zimbabwe or something if we would all just use laptops! Too bad I had them, but a nice idea none-the-less!

William can just go go go! He still needs to be entertained 24/7, and I'm just not that much fun anymore! We've eaten at all the places I know around here, been to the movies, rented movies, played a 4 hour game of Star Wars Monopoly, he's played golf twice, and we've been to the mall. He's only been here 72 hours. He's mad at me right now because I don't want to go out to dinner and go to another movie. Seesh! I mean, I know he lives in Hobbs...but chill out dude!

Vic's working tonight for 4 hours, but since it's a holiday he'll get lots more! Yeah!

Mandy's been at the college softball world series in OKC. She's on her way here w/ Stephanie Walls. She lived in Lubbock when we all did, she's a cool chick. I think Mandy told Vic that she has an interview here tomorrow...but last I knew she had a good job with Costco as a buyer or something like that. So who knows, I'm just shocked and amazed that Mandy's coming back today. When the phone rang I just knew she was calling to say she'd be back before work tomorrow. She doesn't really live here, ya know.

I'm off to appease the young one. I'll bribe him with candy or something.

Close. Very close.

"Cali, Cali, I'm going back to Cali."

My cousin was on the cover of the good ol' Hobbs News Sun last weekend. It was a cheesedick story about strengths and over coming obstacles. He quoted my neat football coach uncle as his inspiration. I meant to save it for my future children to see. More for the proof how pathetic Hobbs is, but never the less, my dad wanted it for my grandmother. Damn the luck.

Two weeks from right this second Misti and I should be on a trolley. I left my heart in San Francisco many years ago and I'm pretty dern excited to go back. It makes it even more exciting that I'm goin wedding dress shopping. Well, I actually know the dress...I just have a dress maker friend there that is going to make it for me. Peggy Lutz is her name, fat girl clothes is her game. Even fat girls like Aretha Franklin and Kathy Bates. Kick ass.

William is here, we're going to see some movie tonight that I've never heard of. The New Guy or something like that. William says that I'm going to think it's stupid, but that's what he wants to see, so I'll be a trooper. Just wait til I tell him we are going to look at bridesMAID's dresses tomorrow.

30 minutes to go. I have been here since 8 am, that would be like 12.5 hours ago. I did leave to go eat from 3-4. I met Vic at Sweetwater Grill. Why is it neat to Dallas people that west Texas has diamond back rattlers? This is a whole restaurant dedicated to Sweetwater, TX. Anyone that's been there knows that it does not deserve an entire restaurant in its honor.

People keep asking me if my ring is fake. I started telling them yes. What kind of question is that? I would never comment on someone's jewelry other than "Ohh, pretty!" Someone could have on the hope diamond, or the one from Titanic and I would never doubt it's authenticity just because what the hell does it matter? I mean it is so not my business if you want to wear a Cracker Jack ring or a gazillion million dollar ring.

I so agree. Not speaking the country's designated language is not racist in the least. Way back when this country was founded, the English chose English as our national language. People should speak it to live here. To benefit from its wealth (i.e. welfare, healthcare, etc.) they should be able to describe to me why they need assistance in the language that my forefathers established.

Should they still speak Spanish, French, German, Canadian, etc? Sure, that is their heritage. They should keep it, it's a treasure to know and it's beneficial when traveling. It should be treated as a novelty to have the knowledge of a second language, not a necessity.

Can I just tell you have helpless I feel when I answer the crisis line and I hear frantic, tear stricken Spanish words? My heart just drops. My "un momento por favor" is not the most audible, and many times they hang up before I can get a Spanish speaking employee. And I won't even go into the Koran lady that was hysterical last week. We don't have any Koran speaking employees.

Speaking of work...the government cut the grant that paid for my position. SO, I am getting a new title. I will find out what it is tomorrow at one of my 2 hour meetings. But I will be funded by the other money, rather than the old money. I also have to work a full 28 hours and there is a possibility that I *could* go to full time. At least my position will. Should be an eventful day. I worked from 8 am to noon, then from 5 pm to 9pm. TOMORROW! I'm working from 8 am to 9 pm.

Holy abused women batman, I'm gona be a tired gr8 tomorrow!

We made it home, trailor and all. The poodle was depressed all weekend. She threw up twice and didn't eat much the whole time we were gone. Mandy attempted to ease her woes by letting her sleep in her room; also one of the places she yacked. I guess we will have to come up with a plan for the honeymoon. I want to go to Niagra Falls. We don't know anything about it though, so we are going to start searching online. It might be too expensive. Vic takes his national test for radiology techs on Friday. He hasn't studied, he has to all week. My life will be boring. I need to work on getting the house together. Mandy's sick, her throat hurts. Poor poor mandy.

Mr. & Mrs. Amanda Matthews
or
Mr. & Mrs. Fred Victor Napoleon IV

Neither.

Mr. & Mrs. Vic and Amanda Napoleon

Thank you very much. ;)

I'm still in Hobbs. The whole town now knows.

Bugs Bunny would be jealous of my ring. We are waiting on the setting though, we designed it...actually it's all Vic's doing. I let him do what he would have done without my influence. I was there though, so I know what it looks like. But I have a tempory one, the diamond with the old setting. It's preeeety.

My mother is trying to take over my wedding. I think I might just go to an undisclosed location and get hitched and tell everyone when I get back. As of this minute it's in Hobbs though, and it's just a reception...a brunch. But who knows what it will be tomorrow.

I saw Spider-Man (ha ha Moe) today. I was a tad disappointed in the actual story, love stories make me want to vomit. Neat-o special effects, and I was entertained. So I did enjoy it.

Vic's entralled in the last episode of X-files. I'm not. It will be over soon, so I'm going to get ready to bug him.

Mark your calanders for OCTOBER 5, 2002.

Dum-dum-DUMDUM, Dum-DUM-DumDUM. Not really, I hate that song...

But it's pretty much a done deal. I am making an appointment for engagement pictures to be taken as I type.

Holy bridesmaid dress, Batman! I'm gettin' married.

All day I've been trying to find something about the Pope getting shot...no where to be found. I was so sad when I read that...like I mean, who wants to hurt the Pope...he's annoying, but he won't be around much longer anyway so just let him be. And lay off the crack...hee hee. Kidding.

Vic's La-Z-Boy furniture came today, it rocks my livingroom. They also came to fix the phonejack in my bedroom...YEAH! Now we just have to wait until next monday for them to come look at the kitchen crap table and we will be all good. What am I going to do when I don't have a house to plan...

I will need some type of event, or party to plan...any suggestions??? :)

SO what if I registered at theknot.com?

Thank heaven for Bob and Kay. Parents are good, mine are gggggreat!

Finger's better by the minute.

Rooms To Go sucks. They have poor customer service, poor policies, and poor products. It all comes down to they dicked us around about it being backordered, delivered, blah, blah, blah for 3 WEEKS and we finally drove 45 minutes to Grandpraire to pick up my table and chairs from the warehouse today. We waited there for another hour just to have to load it ourselves (well, Vic and Bob loaded). We get home, the table is cracked; as are 2 chairs. Customer Service was already closed when we got home, so I sent an email to them. I rehashed the whole ordeal and let them know that there was nothing even satisfactory, let alone pleasurable about my shopping experience and they could either replace it and bring the dern thing to me or they could come get this one and credit it all back to me. I know I won't get anything done through email...but I wanted them to have a record that within 2 hours of our signing for it in their warehouse, I wasn't happy with it at home. Mostly so they don't accuse me of coming home and having a wild fiesta and it getting broken or something. So that might have been the case in my younger days...buy a table just for a party and then attempt to return it...no longer, I'm a grown up who just doesn't like crap!

It was time for a change, and I thought this background entitled "Fat Cat" was appropriate for the current events. Just a way of saying "Carson, everyone knows you are a jackass...but I love you inspite of that."

Why couldn't the trauma have happen to my middle finger, it would have been much more fun to show off!

i am somewhat better, no surgery i don't think. it still won't move and i'm going to have a nasty scar. did i mention that one tooth went all the way through, a big wide hole where it went in and a little one where it came out? the other tooth of course just hit the bone...it will be the pretty scar, right on top of my finger. thank God for antibotics, they saved my life. ok, maybe just my finger, but close. bob and kay finally felt sorry enough for me and drove down here today. we have to get everything out of the apartment by tuesday and i can't really do anything with my right hand...so they came to save the day. and i never said that he never bites me, i let the little bastard naw on my hand for heaven's sake. i've said that he doesn't freak out when i touch him like he does when other people do, that he doesn't attack me (though i know he hates it). and this still holds true to that...he was pissed, but not attacking pissed while i had hold of him...but then when vic attempted to help and grabbed his back feet for me; he struck. my hand was in front of vic's and i know that was what he was going for and he accidently missed. he's sorry, i can tell. the next day he came and laid on my chest while i was on the couch and kneeded my right arm...he NEVER does anything like that. he was trying to make it better, he knew he bite my right hand.

one very sweet thing that i've not mentioned was that when i was hysterical and vic was holding compression to my finger and mandy was looking for the first aide kit, nancy poodle was sitting next to me all antsie licking my tears off my face and nudging me with her nose. it was very sweet, she totally knew that something was really wrong with me and she was trying to make it better. dogs are good, cats are wild (but good). just not the same as dogs. but i love them both. obviously, most people tell me that if carson were theirs--he'd be in kitty heaven right now.

ok it's totally not funny anymore...it's worse today and vic talked to the er docs and they told me to go to a reconstructive surgeon, so i did. if it is still nasty on friday morning when i go back, they are doing surgery...to clean it out. i will _die_ if they cut it open to clean. it's just a tiny finger, ok, well, it not too tiny now...but it should be. i mean, i have 9 more...why is this one such a problem, it's keeping me from being normal. not to mention that it hurts like hell at the moment. i'm at work though...i don't feel any worse here than i would at home and i need the $, and at home all i do is feel sorry for myself.

woe-is-me

i am at work with a club for a hand. neat. i like words that i can type all with my left hand, makes them super fast. fast. fast. that's one...fast. try it and put your right hand down, you still type it fast fast fast because all the keys are left handed. i love prescription drugs. i'm off to answer the crisis line....weeeeee!

good luck on the job moe! and sweet dreams, you lucky sleeper :)

I just home from the ER. 5 Cat puncture wounds to my right index finder. 5 hours later, a tetnous (sp) shot, prescription for strong antibotics, wound cleaning, them calling animal control, AND them telling me that if in 2 days it still looks infected that i will need to be hospitalized because cat puncture wounds don't clean very well...i am home. my first 2 fingers are taped together and have to stay this way for 5 days. i felt carson's tooth hit my bone. it hurt. i freaked out cause i thought his tooth broke off. i was trying to brush his tummy and about 15 minutes into it he got REALLY pissed and latched on. gross. anyway, i am peck typing with my right ring finger and my left hand normal, it sucks. so i don't think i will be blogging much. once i get to untape my fingers i will be back...we shall she if i can make it like this for 5 days. scan tron finals will be fun.

One final down. Two more to go. Tomorrow and Thursday's are the days of truth. Praise Allah.

I talked to Kim today. I said "How are you?" She said "Fat." I said "I so don't want to hear it, I was born that way." Is that really all there is to complain about being pregnant? I mean, I know that a ballooning midsection in a mater of a few months is a little unnerving, but I mean, come on?! The answer to "How are you?" is never supposed to be "fat." The PC answer to "How are you?" is "fine, and you?" The common Kimmy answer is "Ohhhh, good...blah blah blah blah." She must really be feeling bad!

Speaking of fatness. Who comes up with this shit? On the radio yesterday (or the day before, hell, I don't know) I heard an advertisement for plus sized models-size 10 and up.

SO now they think that
birth control doesn't work for fat women, you know, over 150 lbs.

I slept like 20 hours last night. Not really 20, but I went to bed at 2, got up at 11:30 and then took a nap from 1 to 5. What's that, like 13.5 hours? Let's just see how well I sleep tonight.

So the reason I was up until 2? About 1, when the dog show finished (won by a black poodle, I might ad…though it was just a mere runt compared to my noble beast), I let Nancy outside to do some business. Since she won't do anything other than stand in the window and bark unless I go out there with her, I slipped on some flops and was standing on the patio. What do I see as I peer into the darkness? Yes, Little Bunny Foo Foo. I see him before the poodle does, and as I'm trying to urge her back into the house...SHE'S OFF! Mr. Foo Foo dodges right, Nancy dodges right...Foo runs to the left, Nancy cuts him off. I have never seen a poodle move like that! She would make a cheetah jealous! Finally Foo gets out through the wrought iron fence, but Nancy is bound and determined to get him. SO she starts digging.

I take off though the grass, but I can't see her...she is wearing her night time camouflage...but I can hear her. And I'm steady bitching at her as I'm coming towards her...and she runs. She is running from me, in the middle of the night, in the backyard as I am being attacked by bugs.

So I come inside. She hates to be out there by herself, I just knew that would get her in. I sat on the couch for about 10 minutes waiting for her. No Nancy.

I go back out and chase her again. I need a way to heard her into the house....THE SQUIRT BOTTLE! Yes, that's it...I come back inside, fill it up, and adjust it to its maximum distance. I take off though the grass again, cursing and squirting, and she runs again. Finally I get her up on the porch. I'm winded and furious by now, as you can imagine. She breaks left, I break left; she breaks right, I break right. FINALLY she runs into a chair and is startled enough that she pauses. I make my final move and come in for the kill. I swoop her up (all 45 leggy pounds of her) and rush her into the house.

She never did do any business out there either. Just wabbit hunting. And you know what? Today, every time we go outside...she goes straight to where Mr. Foo Foo made it out of the yard. My poodle has the memory of an elephant, the speed of a cheetah.

Calgon didn't take me away and I'm still recovering from the move. Actually, I'm just recovering. I have yet to finish moving. In fact, I haven't been to the apartment since last Sunday when I went to get my blow dryer and some drugs. I did work all week. AND went to school. Finals are next week. Is there ever a time when I can just be 100% worthless AND not feel guilty about it because I really need to be doing something else?

Vic found a centipede in the casa last night. He garbage disposaled it. I guess that's ONE way to handle it. Why he didn't just step on the bastard is beyond me. He also found a spider when he picked something up to move it. I'm glad I haven't found anything, I would have prolly fainted or something. I did call the exterminator this morning (they just sprayed 8 days ago!) and told them there was a centipede in my house. She acted so blasé. No big deal. Man eating bug in your entryway? Well, if you see a pattern call us back and we will see what we can do. Just cause you have one bug doesn’t mean you have a bug problem. She totally doesn't know who she is dealing with. I'm on the look out. If it moves, I investigate.

Happy Cinco de Mayo weekend. Ola'!