A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from
an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.

Kenny: "Well then, just give me my money back."
Farmer: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny: "OK then, just unload the donkey."
Farmer: "What ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off."
Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened
with that dead donkey?"

Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a
piece and made a profit of $898.00."
Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron.

You see, I hadn't heard from my Aunt since March. But she is back, and she is pissed that she's been away so long. I am the devil and no one wants to hear one thing that I have to say. Grrrr. I am eatin Midol like candy and still all I do is scowl.

I'm watching a wedding story and it's Tercel and Veronika. NO shit. My wedding could be at a junk yard and it would be prettier. I could wear my black lace bell bottoms and I would look more bridely. I could not wash my hair until Oct 5th and it wouldn't be as shiny as Veronika's. I think they did this one just to ease my worries about mine not being beautiful. This gives me something to aim for. It must be better than what is on TV today.

Sex and the City starts back up on Sunday. Helllzzzz yeazzz-owe! I'm going to Lubbock this weekend and then Vegas on Monday. Vic needs to do laundry or I'm not going to have anything to wear.

I must go wax my pitch fork.

BTW: Those glasses make me wish that I was blind. :)

I found my gifts for all my wedding party people. Whooo hooooo! They all rock. I just hope Vic agrees to it all. The dudes gifts are a little fun-ky! For that matter, so are mine. But they are special too. I want one. I think I might get the hostests with the mostest of my shower the same, just smaller because they are THAT cool.

It rained here today and it was so pretty. I was taking a nap and it woke me up and I stayed in bed and watched it out of my big windows. It was so happy.

I talked to Kurt (Slap) today and he was calling to find out where everyone was staying. He and Pud are for sure coming to Vegas. That's rocks. I've not seen either in TOO long!

So the vet on wheels came to visit Nancy this morning. She has yeasty beasties in her ear. Yes, that's right, a yeast infection in her ear. Um, can we all collectively scream GROSS. She plucked it, cleaned it, and gave her some ointment. That's a gross word. Anywho, Nancy was such a brave girl! I will include the link to the vet on wheels cause it was cool. She also now weights 54 lbs! That's 10 more than when we got her 6 months ago! She's a precious poodle!

http://www.petcalls.homestead.com

Vic started a new job today. He is working 9 to 5. Trying to make a livin'! He's working for a portable X-ray place. Don't think we don't get a company MINI-VAN, cause we do. Vic's pimpin the family-mobile. I drive a bonneville and he a mini-van. People will think that we have at least 6.5 children! But, no, the explanation is much simpler than that. We are just not "hip" anymore. Well, I'm not...I don't know if he ever was. Hee hee. Anyway, he's keeping the other job too. That means he will now work 72 hours a week. Holy damn Uncle Sam! So the only time he is not working is when I am at work. What's a girl to do?

Moby rocks. I'm jealous. I knew they were giving that away and it is bad ass that you won. If Misti doesn't blog soon, I'm going to vomit all over her pathetic whinnnny hiney bitching about packing for a the trip to see her lovely in-laws. I'm getting married in Vegas. Cool. I'm going to read my book. I need to finish it soon. I ordered 7 books today off of Amazon.com. I have to read them all in less than 3 months because they are all wedding/marriage books for Christian couples. I'm really getting worried about this whole wifey thing. SO I'm going to read books about how to do it, you know, like an instruction manual. I need "Marriage for Dummies." MISTI! You could write it! Hardy har har. I love you!

Yesterday was my birthday, thanks for the thrill. I printed them off and took them to my box to, uhhh, DREAM. Yeah, that's it, dream. But I cleaned up the mess, so don't tell my Mom. You're one fine pussy cat, Ms. Blewm! -Carson

I'd like a picture of Ms. Blewn.
Naked.
With a good shot of all 6 jugs.
-Carson

So did anyone else see that cigs went to 7 bucks a pack in New York? WTF?!?! They interviewed this lady and she had a smokers cough and she said "It'll cost me 25 thousand dollars a year to keep smoking!" I was amazed! But then, I did the math and that's like how much it would cost for her if she smoked 9.78 packs a day, that would 8.15 cigs per hour. And where as I know that if there is some CL in your system, you might be able to smoke 8.15 cigs an hour, that is actually highly unlikely because that would be for 24 hours a day. And if there is CL in your system you are going to need to sleep it off so she won't be able to smoke 24/7 to be able to smoke $25,000 in smokie treats, so whatever! Ms. Cough was full of it, and not just nicotine!