So I just had lunch with my friend, Dayana. She and I worked together at Friends of the Family the first time I worked there a few years ago. She left there to work for CPS so now we see each other a lot again since I'm always at the CPS office. Dayana is from Colombia, but is married to a U.S. Citizen. She was telling me that she applied in Jan 05 to take her citizenship test and they told her it would be about a year before she would actually be scheduled for a test date. She just got a letter telling her that she is taking the test on April 21st. She has not studied and was freaking out a little. So we were talking and I told her I knew you could get info for free online and that I would ask Allison if she would be willing to help her since Allison is a high school government teacher. So just out of curiosity, I was just looking around online and found this sample test, Naturalization Self Test.

Now, I'm pretty savvy on politics/history. I mean, it's not my specialty like it is Misti and Allison; but I'm generally interested in this stuff so I remember it. So given that, I thought that I would know pretty much all of the answers...and I do know a good 90% of them...but still! Shouldn't we as "natural born citizens" be required to know the same information? Here are a few questions that I did NOT know and their answers, just in case you guys are bad citizens like me.

*How many representatives are there in Congress? (435)

*How many changes or amendments are there to the Constitution? (27)

*Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death"? (Patrick Henry)

So now, my question is this: Who in the heck is Patrick Henry? And if I don't know, then is it really fair to deny Dayana citizenship because she doesn't know trivial information like that? I know, I know. Immigrants are a sensitive subject, but she is just such a smart, wonderful person that it makes me look at my thoughts on immigration differently when I have a face to put on the term. Anyway, I'm off to look up ol' Patty H. and see exactly WHO and WHY he was.

I know this is tacky, but I can't help myself...

Medical Announcement

Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally "pour himself a stiff one."

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives
new meaning to the names "cocktails," "highballs," and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink." Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name if...yep, you guessed it...

"MOUNT & DO."

I've been cleaning my room and bathroom and I'm hot so I'm takin a break. My parents will be here in a bit and they are staying in my room since we no longer have a guest bedroom and there are two of them and one of me and it makes sense that they get my king size bed. But I still hate trying to make my room acceptable to them. All my mother does is clean stuff and so my once a month or so cleaning is not so bueno to her. But beggers can't be choosers!

I called back on March 7th to change the utilities into my name. After lots of beggin and tears, everyone just did it over the phone except for shitass Centurytel, our local phone provider. Might I also add, the ONLY local phone provider us Corinthians can get! SO, they sent me a form and "Vic" and I both signed it...right...and I sent it back. So yesterday I got our new bill addressed to me. This bill has been $28.01 for three years since we got a phone line, so imagine my surprise when the total is 40something! There is a $13.50 "service charge" on March 13th. So I call and the lady proceeds to tell me that since I made changes to my account, they charged me a service fee. She said that it was because SOME changes require a technician to work on the line. Hell no. I explained that they deleted 4 letters and retyped 6 and that if the fee wasn't removed that I was canceling the phoneline because not only did my change not require a tech. dude but noone informed me of the charge because if they had I wouldn't have changed it! So after a manager looked over it, he got on the line and told me that "since the original callnotes do not say they informed you of the fee we will credit it off the account, but just for future notice be aware that all changes to the account are accompanied by a service charge." Grrrr. SO they deleted it, but that is so so so stupid. How is this it that I only have ONE local provider to choose from? That is unAmerican, I say!

I've been thinking about making my hair really blonde. Like the color it was back before it turned brown. But I don't know if I can handle the upkeep on it and I just couldn't live with nasty roots. Any thoughts?

I don't think I mentioned this and I so should have because it makes me happy! At Big As Texas a couple of weekends ago, I bought a WideBodies Chair! It's extra sturdy furniture for fat chicks like myself. Mine is red and it's beautiful. It has a lifetime warranty on the frame and springs and whatnot. It's so comfy and sassy AND I got it on sale because they just brought one example from their store in the San Marcos area and did not want to haul it back! Oh yeah, and if you go to the website...the picture of the two cute fat chicks on the loveseat are Elizabeth and Frannie and that was at Big as Texas last year!

Ok, enough procrastination. That toilet won't scrub itself.

My scarf! I finally got it to post! 

I think this is funny. I got a forward in my email that had the "rejection hotline number" in it. I called it. It lead me to look at that website. It all amuses me. But yall have to call the rejection hotline. I wish I were brave (cruel?) enough to give it to someone. Anyway, off to get my hair cut.

CALL: 972-504-6270

I went to Big As TEXAS this past weekend. It was really good to see everyone. I missed last year, so it had been 2 years! I love being around a big group of people who are either fat or believe in fat acceptance. I didn't get enough sleep, but that is always a sign of a fun weekend!

I'm exhausted. And overwhelmed. A lot of times when I really think about it, I don't feel old enough to be "married." And I sure don't feel old enough to be getting divorced. It is relatively easy to get married, but it is incredibly complicated to get a divorce. And most of it I don't understand. I also don't feel old enough to be using the phase "my attorney" everyday.

My parents put a deposit on a lot just outside of Denton at Robson Ranch. It's one of those places that at least one person in the house has to be 50 years or older and no one under 18 can live there. I hope nothing happens to change it because I really want them to move here.

I thought that maybe one of you girls would sneak off to a computer and post so I was trying to wait, but I can't anymore. Andra is no longer prego, because just a few hours ago sweet Sadee was born!

I don't know any details really, because Moe called Misit and Misti called me. SO I think that maybe she weighted 7lbs 8 oz. But no length, middle name, nothing. So someone needs to blog that info and PICTURES! We want PICTURES!

Yeah for Sadee!!

SO I just took a quick trip to the post office and decided to stop by good ol' Sonic for my new favorite thing, the orange cream slush.

Now, I know a lot of things are said to be the best thing since sliced bread...but I think that I have truly found it. Sonic now has credit card machines ON THE ORDERING BOX!!! Hot damn! I pulled up, hit the button, ordered, they told me my total, the total popped up on the box, I slid my card in & out, it said approved, a minute later Carmen brought me my drink and my receipt and I was on my way...no signature required.

Now if they could just stay open 24 hours a day....

I don't believe that I have mentioned that I adore the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. He makes me laugh just looking at him. I make a point to stay up til at least 11:30 when he comes on. I don't even like most "talk shows," but Craig is different. He is Scottish and sounds like Fat Bastard, which in and of itself makes me giggle. So yall should watch him and we could all blog about how funny last night's show was.

I'm about to go to an inhome visit. But then I'm going to the gym. I'm going to swim while Allison is in some sort of landlover's class and then we are going to meet in the hottub. I'm glad that I have a fun thing to look forward too after the home visit.

I can't believe that in like 48 hours there is a decent chance that Sadee will no longer inhabit Andra. I'm excited to meet her.

Moe, thanks for calling me. I do plan to come to the hospital. I am also wondering if there is any chance that you might have a spare minute to come to my house. My computer is doing bad things and I don't know what to do with it. I'll buy ya lunch or gas or something. I would really appreciate it. And it doesn't even have to be this weekend...as I'm sure you will be in the metroplex type area a lot since you are now Aunt Moe.

I'm going to have a party sometime, prolly in April. More details to come, but just thinking about it so I thought I'd announce it. I'm still waiting for Mr. J-Ko to let me know when he is whisking J-Ko away for her birthday before deciding on the weekend. I'm also going to Las Cruces in April. And maybe New Orleans, my friend Whitney White from Tulsa that I was friends w/ when I lived in CA and went to Santa Catalina just moved there and I've not seen her in forever.

Speaking of Santa Catalina, I just finally got on the Alumnae page. SO I called Whitney and Sarah Pfalzer (now Schmitt) yesterday. It was so good to talk to them. And Sarah is 10 weeks prego. So fun.

Vic's appt. w/ the church was yesterday. Seems he was having a really good work out at the gym and couldn't quite make it. So they called him to set up another time and he said ok. Then he called to tell me that he thought it was pointless so he was NOT going to set up another time.

So there you have it. Almost 9 months after this whole ordeal began, it's going to end with a really good workout and not having the balls to even call and cancel. Or the balls to tell them when they call you that you think their efforts are "pointless."

I can honestly tell you that I feel I have handled things the very best way I could and am so thankful for everyone who has been there and listened and prayed. Your prayers were very helpful, I do have a sense of peace about the whole thing and am ready to put this behind me and that can only be explained by God. But this was the final attempt to reach him. I have contacted an attorney to begin the divorce process immediately.

On a different, but related note...Does anyone know anyone that would take a slightly used very cute but very engetic 2 year old brown standard poodle midget named Frank? I really can't keep two big dogs on my own.