I have had a completely worthless weekend. I had intended on being Martha Jr. and turning this house into a home, but I didn't. I did do the laundry and hung a few pictures. I made my bed too. WHOOA!

I have talked on the phone a lot too. I talked to my friend Kristina in Phoenix. She and I were best friends from when we were 4 until she moved in 3rd grade. We've always kept in touch, but in the college years it's been less frequent. None the less, I remembered her mom's phone number and I was just sitting in the chair Friday night and thought "I should tell Krissydeena that I'm gettin' hitched." SO I picked up the phone, called, and she answered her mom's phone. We talked for like 2 hours. It made my day. She's coming to the wedding. She hasn't been to Hobbs since we were in 7th grade and I haven't seen her since summer of 97 when I went to Phoenix to look at schools. I am so excited. She has a 3 year old little girl, Hannah, now too and I can't wait to see her either.

Ok, I'm going to continue being a veggie. G'nite.

Just to reinforce my last post, I feel the need to share today's email from my Aunt, my mom's sister, of course:

"hi, how is every thing? What is Vic's last name? I went up to silver city today-they didn't have what i went after. kay has been e-mailing me and I really enjoy it. i have towels washing. i need to take a walk. love, cindy"

And people wonder why I'm so random. THIS IS WHY. I was born with it. It is a disease and I'm infected. SO, I'll write like I would all the time if I didn't try and make myself get control and be "normal" aka "unlike my family."

I love Thursday nights, that means I don't have to go back to work until Monday. Except for every 6th Friday, because we rotate those. I finished up all my stats for June today, usually I'm late with those, but I have everything done except for the Spanish and Women's groups. Rock on. When I got home and out of the car my tire was hissing. I ran into get Vic and he went to look, there is a giant nail in it. I bet all the air will be long gone by morning. He said that he would teach me how to change it. Oh, contraire moe-fraire. No sir, I informed him that I am a Princess. He laughed and said a princess without a carriage. Damn the man. Vic hung my door knocker key hanger thing on the wall, it looks cool. Today I had on a T-shirt with a picture of 3 flip-flops on it, and the flops that Misti gave me for my birthday that have pineapples on them. My foot has a pineapple tattoo on it. Erica noticed this and pointed it out. Cool, huh? Not really, I know. Nancy has started peein' in the floor when any new person comes to the door, so the next time you come over be sure you don't greet her on the carpet. I was going to walk and lift weights with Mandy tonight but she isn't here, maybe Vic wants too. I will go see.

I spit that out in like 3 minutes. That’s what races threw my mind, and tonight I left it unfiltered for you all to see. You may thank me now for NOT writing like this. Good night.

This is today's 3rd email from my mom, I copy and pasted directly:

"You can go to Hunts.com and there are so many good receipes I did not know which ones to print and their websight is easy and cute. Did you know that October is National tomato month? You are getting married in the month of tomatoes, Cool. Time to take Rowdy to be beautified. mom"

If anyone has ever had any doubt where my oddness came from, the confusion should now be cleared up. I'm off to work.

"Friends don't let Friends Fly Southwest Airlines."

That was the signature line on an email I just got. Fat people crack me up.

Oh yeah, and Pimp Daddy Witty said to tell yo' pussy "What up, Cat?"

Ok. So I'm starting to freak out. Who in the hell is going to come to my shower. There are like 6 hostesses and that is about all the adults that I know other than my mother and 2 aunts. SO I went through my guest list to the wedding and rated people 0 to 3 on how likely they are to come. I chilled out a little after that. And after I called Jamey and hung up on her voice mail. She immediately called back and said "Is someone dead." "Um, no, but I don't think anyone will come to my shower." She said "OHHHH AMANDA." She didn't think it was as big of a deal as I did. But damn, it really is giving me stress. I'm so not used to A) not doing the hosting and B) being the center of attention! It is like a bigger deal if no one comes to my shower that it is if no one comes to my wedding. These wonderful women that I've known my whole life are organizing it for me, but I organized my wedding so no big loss if the wedding party is all that shows up. And most of the fun of that is getting to leave and go on a honeymoon.

Speaking of honeymoons, we booked ours today. We are going to the Mayan Riviera aka the Mayan Sun Coast, just south of Cancun. We are leaving (flying FIRST CLASS on American, so there will be no need for my fat ass to purchase 2 seats) Monday Oct 7th and coming back Friday Oct 11th. We are staying at some kick ass resort/spa place that Vic picked out, it has 6 stars and is brand new and no one under age 18 is allowed there...so I said BOOK IT!

I think on the 5th, after the wedding, there is going to be a pretty sweet little kegger at The Goff Family Windmill, hosted by the only 2 Goff's that imbibe, Chewy and Rue. I just told Tamalca and she is stoked. She went to her first (and only) barn party in Hobbs and she's pretty excited about her first windmill party. I ran many a times from the cops from that very windmill, but of course that was before I was legal to drink OR it was occupied as part of the Goff Empire. Anyway, as of now I want to stay for the party...but who knows by then.

My mom told me to find a shrink and ask for some Paxil before my shower so I chill out. That's really not a bad idea, but that's really really pathetic. SO for now I will stick to calling Jamey in the middle of the night for her to reassure me that I'm fine.

I personally think this world would be a better place if there were more blogs about kitties. They are like rainbows and money, there are never enough! Ms. Judy Blewm is absolutely beautiful. Carson thinks she's hot. He said he would have pitched a tent if he wore pants. He tends to like older women.

BTW: My initials are AMM, not AMMN. It is still 104 days away says the knot.

The other night Vic and I were in Pet Smart. I was exhausted and didn't care if Vic got a pet cheetah, much less a kitty. He wanted to adopt a cat. They were $85 from the Humane Society. He was all ready to do so UNTIL he figured out there was a waiting period. You had to fill out an application and wait to be approved. Which is a good thing, we don't want cat eating bad people running into Pet Smart and taking home sweet babies. Now that a few days (actually, even the next day) I'm really glad we don't have a friend for Mr. Witty. We have 2 fur-babies and that is plenty.

The point of this story? Well, in the store I told him that I could easily be one of those old women with 84,000 cats and the problem with that is so could he. Except he'd be an old man with 84,000 cats. That is a dangerous combination. He loves kitties so much, he was just laughing at all of them in Pet Smart. When we went into the room to meet a few of them, he was talking to them. He's an odd duck. Most guys HATE cats, especially multiple cats.

I don't tend to roll my eyes when I am completely floored by a notion. My jaw, however, does seem to drop about 3/4 of an inch. Why on earth would someone get another dog when they are about to start school, immediately followed by a real full time school year?! It takes forever to get a dog adjusted and housetrained, etc. YOU KNOW THIS. Why start all over? And then to name the poor hotdog "Delta Dawn." I am appalled. If anyone has ever needed an ass beating, it would be you.

I do like the idea of taking a 7 year old baby cat. The older animals get, the harder it is to find good homes. Seven tends to be a magic number too. Any older than that and people are weary. But I know that Mr. Witty will be 6 on the 4th of July and he has lots of good years left (assuming that he doesn't try to eat my hand again). Kittens are sweet. They are damn funny. They are just plain ol' adorable. But my God, they are BAD. They are into everything and they are equipped with razors for claws and teeth. Even if you get them declawed, there are still the back claws and the TEETH. Felines, teeth, and Amanda. NO GOOD. I don't know if I will ever get a kitten, I prefer making friends with a cat. Kind of like kids, I don't like them so much. But I love people. Just not when they are young.

As for my birthday. Vic surprised me by MAKING a carrot cake. Mandy decorated it, but it was too warm when she did so and the "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" ran quite a bit and looked like the Scream letters. He and Mandy got me a cool watch too. He took me to dinner. We were supposed to go to the movies, but that didn't happen. I went to bed early. I don't remember why last year was so miserable, but I know that I hated my birthday last year. So this year was quite an improvement. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. Jamey had asked to take me to dinner tonight, but we moved it to dinner and a movie on Sunday. That should be fun :).

Don't bitch about a lack of blogs. Read back through and see that for the last few weeks, there are some that are just like once a week from you. I, too, have a pathetic life and internet life and thoroughly enjoy reading blogs...Pot callin the kettle black, I do declare.

Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to ME. I'm as tired as can be. SO I'm going to bed. Happy birthday to me.

Night night.