So we were on our way to Pampa and they called and said we could have the house--they changed their minds. But I had emotionally prepared myself to keep looking, so rather than turning around and going home, we kept going and found one that we like better. It's OLD...like my Grandma old, but it's been completely redone by Lance's mom & step-dad. It won't be ready for 3 weeks, but they have offered to let us stay in their guest house until it is ready. I will post some pictures soon!

I just have to share this. I don't know what we were talking about but Kim rattled this off to me:

"If ifs and buts were candy and nuts we'd all have a Merry Christmas"
-Kim Sims Bell

It makes me laugh every time I think of it. I know she didn't make it up, but I'd never heard it and coming from her in the situation we were in...it was awesome!

Vic is better, but in true fashion of the everything-that-can-go-wrong,-will-theme of the summer, they have decided not to sell us the house. It was listed for 149900, the appraisal came back that it was 130 someodd square feet smaller than listed, so the value is only 135000...great for us! Well, the dumb ass relocation co., Graebel, didn't have the house appraised before paying the home owner the offering price that we agreed on. SO, now they have chosen to back out of their contract because we 1. can't get a loan for more than the house is worth and 2. won't pay more than it's worth...because it's NOT worth it! I'm not real sure who they think is going to pay more than the house is worth, but I've got news for them: people that can afford to pay cash (or a very large down payment to cover the difference in what they want and what it's worth) are NOT going to be buying a house that small and for that little amount of $...they will go much bigger. But whatever. I suppose it just wasn't meant to be. So we are going BACK to frickin' Pampa tomorrow to look at more houses...

William and Heather came today to help me clean out my classroom. I thought it would be sadder than it was. But I was kinda glad to be outta there. I didn't clean it up as nicely as I should have...but there was no a/c...they want me to clean, they can turn on the air...otherwise, not my problem!

We leave Monday for New York. We will be back the following Monday. 36 hours before I start work in Pampa and I have no where to live and my house isn't packed.

Stress.

Vic's in the hospital. He had to have emergency surgery to remove his appendix. Anyone willing to come help me pack...this is so NOT fitting into our schedule! I'm just home for a minute to get our cell phone chargers and something more comfortable to sleep in because he wants me to stay at the hospital. Oh, and to let Nancy out. He's good though, joking around and talkin' shit...so basically back to normal.

So I FINALLY saw Sex & the City tonight with Jamey. I loved it. It was great. All I could ask for...more really...because I couldn't imagine how they would put so much of what we had all grown to love with the girls into a movie. But they did, and I applaud them for that. I teared up a few times through the movie...but not as much as I thought. But I did cry all the way home. And even sat in the garage and cried once I was home.

As I left Jamey at the theater, after we stood and talked and laughed a bit outside and walked to our cars in the rain and hugged and stated that we'd see each other this weekend, it hit me. Like a Mack truck. I'm leaving. I'm moving away from every security blanket that I have. My dad, bothers, friends, work, house, even Nancy's vet, EVERYTHING. The last time I moved away from somewhere (Lubbock) the world still seemed so big and full of possibilities. I don't know when that feeling left me, but it did. I don't want to go anywhere because I'm not interested in the possibilities that are left in the world to explore. I like my life, here, in DFW...right where I've been for the last 8 years. I've made my HOME here.

I don't see Jamey and Kim very often, but there is something so comforting about the fact that I can drive 30 minutes and meet Jamey for a movie about girlfriends and love. Kim can drive 30 minutes to come over once she gets the kids in bed to sit outside and talk til' 4 a.m.

I'm really sad to be leaving here. And very overwhelmed by how fast things are happening.