I finally have my dress and Mandy knows how to bussel me. Glory be!

It was my last Friday night to do whatever I wanted before I get married. I watched a little TV, I talked on the phone to my Grandma for an hour, I learned the basic stitches to knit. That's right. I sat in front of my computer with knitting needles in hand and follwed along with "Knitting Made Easy--Interactive CD-ROM" and then sat in bed until 4 a.m. practicing. I'm going to make a fine knitter. Makes me feel a little more worthy in the wife category. Vic can tell his friends "She might not be such a great cooker or cleaner...but BOY HOWDY, she can KNIT!" Makes me proud.

Glad to know he's (probably) Icelandic. I thought maybe that was alien I was attempting to read. Sure did sign his "gestabok." I practiced my new name on it. One weird thing deserved another. How on earth did he find you!?!?!

So I decided to take a shower and do a practice with my hair last night. I blew it dry with my best hair products in it, on cold w/ my diffuser. I attempted to place my pretty head piece on my head exactly like the picture in the magazine. That girl must have a frickin' cone head! So I played with it until Mandy stopped laughing. It seems that I'm going to have to wear it up, WITH a veil thing. Kinda like Meestee's with just the poof tail hanging in the back. Where o' where will I find an ivory poof tail? Here is what I've come up with:

http://www.wegotgame.net/jen/veils.html

I now have:

2 yards of ivory tulle
1 clear plastic comb
2 boxes of the smallest beads they make in pearl and clear
1 beading needle
1 spool of clear thread
1 imagination

I will accomplish this. It is a test of my true abilities to be a handy dandy house wife. Rock on. May the force be with me.

Ok, so I broke down and called him. I'm glad I did. Mr. Ronnie is alive and doing well. AND he has email! Yeah, I love email. I sent him my websites, including this one. So maybe he'll stop by, and if he does....HOWDY! You know, I've known him for 10 years! That's a long time...almost 1/2 my life! Wowzers! I'm getting old. But he's even older...I suppose you turned the big 3-0 this year. Pretty soon you'll get the sr. citizen discount. hee hee.

My shower(s) were wonderful. It was a full day of just me, which meant that I was totally stressed out. Thank God for Coors Lite. It is completely overwhelming to receive so many gifts all at once. My big shower was fancy and lovely, complete with a piano player and delicate snacks. My night time shower was complete with a cowboy hat w/ a crown & veil and hard liquor.

Thank you notes start sounding like answering machines (stupid, generic, and meaningless) when you are forced to write so many. It's a good thing that I am unemployed.

And this year's award for Courage and Bravery goes toooo....Marissa the Marvelous! Yeah for her Dr. visit!

Hoo Hum. I can't sleep. This is getting to be annoying. As if 5 years of insomnia wasn't enough, now when I'm supposed to look as fresh and new as the morning dew I'm going to look tired and haggered. Poop on anxiety.

Tired the Noah's Ark game on Yahoo? Stupid and cheezy? Yes. Amusing? Yes, that too.

So the night before the wedding when there would typically be a rehearsal dinner, there will just be a dinner (no rehearsal, no rehearsal dinner). So it's just like we are all going to dinner and whoever wants to go can go, but everyone pays for their own. I'm not real sure about this; it's all FVN's family planning.

That's not the part that I want to type about, I really don’t care what we do Friday. I want to type about the fact that we are going to "Hole in the Wall." Yes, you read correctly, the name of the restaurant is one that is typically reserved for drinking establishments. FVN3 saw it on TV and "heard" that it's good. #3 told #4 about it and he thought it was cool. Seems that years ago these Italian dudes bought it because it is (was?) right next to a jewelry store. The opened a restaurant there and everything was normal. THEN they tunneled through the wall into the jewelry store and stole all the jewels. That's all I know and that is more than enough to tell me that I'm marrying into an INSANE family. Numbers 3 and 4 think this story is REALLY neat. Therefore the night before MY wedding will be spent in an Italian joint called Hole in the Wall.

So last night I dreamt that I was in this huge court room in my wedding dress and the jury was all of the people that I've forgotten to send invitations to. And the judge was this man, Bill Briley, that used to work for Billy Walker for like a million years and I've known my whole life and he retired about 5 years ago. Yeah, I hadn't even REMEMBERED that I had forgotten him, but he was looking at me over the top of his glasses (like he always did in real life) shaking his head slowing with a big hammer thing in his hand.

What do yall think this means?!?!

I still have 19 days left of this torturous anxiety.

Paxil, take me away!

Ahhh, zank you, Confusious. You word of wisdom come of great help.

Like I totally thought that you had like entered a contest or something and we were really going to go to FL to see their house. But no. I was terribly disappointed.

If I were anymore worthless I would totally stop existing. I got up at 9 and then took a nap from 1-4. That wouldn't be bad, except that's what I do everyday. Vic took a nap too, but he has to go to work at 7pm and stay til 7am. Me, well, I have to watch some TV. Maybe eat some dinner. OH! And let Nancy out to pee at least once or twice. Then I must go back to bed. Neat.

Bob said I couldn't get married in my Buddy Holly's. So I got contacts today. I feel like I have someone elses eyes in my head cept I can see. I keep wanting to close them really tight and not open them. I forgot the container deal and solution they gave me so Vic is fixin to take me to the store to purchase those items. I am ready to take these bastards out, they's been in for almost 5 hours and that's enough for one day.

So I'm off to AN Albertson's and then to A Taco Bueno and on my way home I will pass THE Harley Dealership.

I can't help myself...

What on earth does your mother have with "i's?" MistI, HeidII??? And is the "butane route" somewhat similar to "the one way?"

Or as David Lee Roth once said, "I wish they all could smalltown giiiiirlzzz!"

Are we all so busy that we don't have a second to blog? I KNOW that Relay refined the typing speed of all who worked there. It really does only take a second...

I had a battle with me last night on getting to class. I turned around to come home 3 times. But, I made it. I'm proud of me.

The wedding is only 25 days from today. People that are engaged for long periods of time are insane. And if they weren't before they were engaged for a long time, they are by the time it's done. We decided to get married back in May. Five months is MORE than plenty for this stuff. It's long enough so that people know it's not a shot gun wedding, but short enough to not make me wait unnecessarily.

Nancy is SO ready to have legitimate parents.

I want to learn how to knit. I think that would be a good thing for me to know. I bought this magazine in Midland a few weeks ago about beading. All the stuff that I like requires a basic knowledge of knitting. I should take lessons.

The world lost a good four-legged friend yesterday. We will all miss Misti's weenie.

This is absolutely excellent. It totally made my night. It's a extra big fat girl online zine. Cool.

http://www.ssbbwoman.com

That, of course, stands for super-sized big beautiful women. I must also include this article. It made me chuckle.

What If?

What if fat was healthy because fat people had some cushioning and some reserve food stores to live on, and skinny people were said to be putting themselves at risk, and stigmatized for making this stupid health decision?

What if people went up to skinny girls in the street and said "Oh, you’d be beautiful if you’d just gain weight!"

Or "You’re thin, but you’re beautiful on the inside!" Or looked at me like I was in some way sick and disgusting?

What if all clothes below size 10 came in girly pastels, with the reasoning that small women are underdeveloped and childish?

What if they were called ‘minus sizes’?

What if thin people had to go to special stores to buy clothes, because none of the regular stores wanted to stock clothes for them, saying that they’re disgusting and their patrons wouldn’t want to look at them?

What if all models were a size 16 or above, but every once in a while you’d see a "minus size" model in a size 8 cut to make her look larger?

What if "too fat" wasn’t the greatest thing, because it was acknowledged to not be terribly healthy, but the models who were "too fat" still got all the modeling jobs, and they were told that they might want to lose a little weight but nobody took it seriously? And meantime "too fat" was infinitely better than "too skinny"?

What if thin people were depicted in the media as obsessed with exercise and starving themselves, and thus not sexually interested? And fat people were depicted as able to enjoy their food, and their lovers, with relish?

What if a TV character as popular as Friends’ Monica was depicted as once having been thin, not even unhealthily so, and she was the butt of jokes for that?

What if X percent of the American population was labeled "underweight"?

What if food commercials focused not on low-fat, but high in nutrients to gain weight?

What if people said "I don’t understand what’s wrong with skinny people. All they have to do is eat! It’s not that difficult. They must be pretty stupid not to figure that out."?

What if there were no labels saying "Low Fat" but instead they said "High Fat"?

What if magazines ran stories on "How to Maximize the Glory of your Curves"?

What if 7-year-old girls, copying their moms, asked their friends "Does this make me look too skinny?"

What if magazines ran bogus ads for weight gain powder? And the ads said "Mary gained 25 pounds in 8 weeks combining a high-nutrient diet, exercise to gain muscle mass, and Product X"? And they showed a picture of Mary wearing baggy clothes to make her look skinny and waifish, while in the "After" picture she was trim and tan? And women looked at Mary, who didn’t need to gain weight to begin with, and say "If she’s skinny, I must be a stick" and started gorging themselves?

What if thin people had to pay more for clothes and underwear and almost no pretty bras came in anything under a size 40?

What if there was an operation to enlarge the size of one’s stomach or inject fat under the skin?

What if middle-aged women were admired because they had put on some weight after age 30 and young women were simply ‘too thin’?

What if kids made jokes like "Your mama’s so thin, she blew away when I flapped my arms"?

What if people talked to thin people slowly on the assumption that they were like children?

What if thin people had to learn to be witty, because else they would be utterly ignored by the opposite sex?

What if studies showed that thin could also be healthy, not just fat, but the mass media only paid lip service to them?

This would be ridiculous.

Then why is the reverse still OK?



—Author Unknown

So B & K called last night and said they were leaving at 4 a.m. to come spend the night with me. It was like 9 or so. So here I am, up early to clean and I'm soooo procrastinating. They didn't give me much time to hide the whips and chains...

She went out w/ Woody again last night. And then she brought him to the house. I waited awake in bed until he left and when I went into her room at 1 a.m. she had a very red face. I asked her why. She said "He has a goatee." I told her it wasn't too late to turn this into a double ceremony.....

She kicked me out of her room.

There is hope for her yet!!!