I went to my first appointment with the highly recommended fertility doctor and was lectured about how he could not "ethically" treat me because I was "obviously so self destructive" and once I show that I'm "serious about wanting help" getting pregnant (by loosing weight) then to come back and we can talk about it. He said that there are many birth defects that babies of fat mom's are prone to (but couldn't tell me what they were) AND that I was at a much higher risk for death if I were to get pregnant (even though he said many times that he had delivered healthy babies to women much larger than myself). He told me that by helping me get pregnant that he would also be contributing to the childhood obesity problem because he was sure that my children would be fat. He, and his nurse, attempted to refer me to a "bariatic specialist" because there are GREAT results with the Roux-En-Y procedure (but earlier he was concerned that I might die...right....)!

He did acknowledge that I'm healthy--on paper--no abnormal blood work, blood pressure, etc. With the exception of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which includes being fat as a SYMPTOM.

SO that's that. No babies for my fat ass, because obviously my parenting abilities are determined by the fact that I'm fat.

And we can't adopt because of Vic's record from his college days--one charge, no conviction, but because it was something that COULD have hurt someone...now he is an unfit parent.

SO unless it starts raining babies, it looks like we will be shopping for a new poodle soon...

7 School Days. So close, yet so far away. It's so weird for it to be Memorial Day, but more school days are ahead. I never like these last few days because everyone is DONE--kids, teachers--all of us. The library is closed. Text books have to be turned in tomorrow. So what's the point?

Tonight Vic, William, Heather, and I are going to Lance and Lori's to cook out. I'm about to go to the store to get the stuff to make a salad & homemade ranch dressing. I have spent the last hour googling "Chili's Ranch Dressing" but I can't find a copy cat recipe that seems right. I'm just tired of only liking ranch dressing in restaurants. It's not good out of a bottle and I have grown tired of the mix some mayo & milk w/ a packet kind. I finally settled on one that got good reviews, so we shall see.

So You Think You Can Dance came back last Thursday. I love it SO much! It's the most fun show ever. It inspires me to dance...of course not like them, because well, they are the size of my thigh, but I think that Vic and I are going to take dance lessons. Not sure what kind, and for sure not until I am finished w/ school (graduating in August--yeah!) and until my feet are fixed (June 20th having Extracorporeal Shock Wave Technology, aka Ossatron) but we are! And I can't wait! But for now, you so need to watch it!

I have the best "natural high" today. This weekend was my dear friend Jared's wedding to another friend, Ashley, in Austin. Kim, Mandy, Teri, and I went down Friday and came back yesterday. I have not had that much fun in years. I partied like a rock star. I drank good keg beer. I danced in a conga line. But the best part of the weekend was the reminder of how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends. I hadn't seen Jared, Landon, Hog, Toby, Bobby, Amanda, and Dustin since our reunion almost 2 years ago...we picked up without missing a beat! It made me miss Lubbock so bad when we all lived right together. It really was just like old times--it was so hard to leave yesterday. I told Mandy that I wanted to do what we usually did "the day after" the party ended--go eat Mexican food and all lay around at someone's house and watch movies on TNT until they looped back around and started again...but instead, I drove home and got in bed. We all vowed not to let 2 years pass by again without getting together!