One of my kids was reading out loud today and the word was Philippines and he said "Feel-a-penis" and had no clue. I tried not to chuckle, but it was difficult once I had the thought "What is he was the announcer for the Miss Universe pageant?"

"...and next up we have Ms. Feel-a-Penis to play us a tune on the flute..."

Picture this...late Friday night, pretty much the only car on the highway as I roll through White Deer, TX on my way to get Vic at the airport. I've been pulled over there before for speeding (got a warning), so I am cautious now. All of a sudden I start sneezing out of control, like 10 times in a row. Right then, cop lights appear in my rearview. I think "this bastard thinks I'm drunk, but really I'm just swerving because I'm allergic to pigs." I pull over. He sashays up to my window and says "Evenin' ma'am, where ya headed?" Me: "The airport to get my husband." Pig: "Is this your vehicle?" Me: "It is." Pig: "The reason I pulled you over is because your light on your licenses plate is out." Me: "Right. How was I supposed to know?" Pig: "That's why I'm just going to issue you a warning, I just need license and insurance." SO I hand him my license and search for my insurance. I hand it to him. It expired like the day before. Me: "I have insurance, I just haven't printed the new one." Pig: "I can look it up." Now Pig goes back to his car and a few minutes later returns with my warningS for the light and no insurance. He tells me that I don't have insurance. I start to argue, but then give up and leave.

I'm going about 60-65 on the edge of town, not even enough yet to set my cruise. Here comes the Easter Bunny. He throws himself at my car. I feel him bump under my car several times. At this moment I'm leaving William a message on his voicemail and I squeal "OH! I just killed a bunny!" And give a play by play. Sadness. I keep rolling, set my cruise on about 67-68.

Few more miles down the road, I'm still thinking about how the night couldn't be anymore torturous...and there in my rearview are frickin' COP LIGHTS! I'm being pulled over a second time! So Pig Dos sashays up to my car and says "Evenin' ma'am, are you in a hurry?" Me: "Well, yeah, I'm late to pick up my husband because your buddy just pulled me over for no license plate light about 15 minutes ago." Pig Dos: "The reason I pulled you over is because you are exceeding the speed limit." Me: "Oh yeah? How fast was I going?" Pig Dos: "I can't tell you or I'd have to give you a ticket." Me: (laughing) "Riiight. And I don't want that." (I mean is that "can't tell ya or hafta kill ya????" PG: "If I can just see your license." He takes my license and comes back with my warningS for speeding and for the frickin' light! (Like I could have gotten it fixed between the first and second warning!)

So I got 4 warnings from 2 Pigs in 24 mile markers AND killed the Easter Bunny.

Saturday's gotta be better. Vic and I head to Dalhart to visit (Dr. & Vic's best friend) Nathan's new baby Gracie Anne and for Nathan to try to figure out why I've had 3 antibiotic rounds & 2 steroid shots in 5 months AND for the last month used a steroid nose spray, allergy pills, and a nasal wash daily. ALL the while, continuing to have pastel shades of slim oozing from my face. He starts by shoving a 5 or so inch piece of cotton w/ deading stuff on it in my nose with tweezers. Lets that set there for a few, removes it and puts a tube in there w/ a camera on the end. Looks all around, shows Vic all this "disgusting crap" and says that I need a ct scan. He takes me to radiology and lets Ramaldo shoot my nog. Get the pics and says "Whoa, dude, you are freakishly deformed!" Seems the sinus cavities in your cheeks should be a big oven space, but mine are divided almost completely with a big piece of bone (looks like beaver's built a dam in there) AND the drainer holes out are in the wrong place--way too high, so it has to go against gravity to escape. That paired with a few large polyps, and it seems I need to have sinus surgery. SO, he's referring me to UT Southwestern in Dallas and I'm going to try to get my face fixed this summer. Neat. He prescribed me some good ol' Augmentin XR at 1000 mg 2x daily. They are the biggest horse pills! I have to take 2 at a time and thought you needed a visual:



Needless to say, Saturday was no better. Sunday I was lazy. This morning Vic's alarm went off at 2:30 so he could make his 5 a.m. flight outta Amarillo. SO, it's a little after 6 and I'm about to have a fancy dinner of cheese bagel bits and some carrots and go to bed!

I've already been to Amarillo once today (for a workshop) and now, at almost 10 p.m., I'm on my way again. I love that Vic has a job, but I hate taking him to and from the airport! It will be so much better once we move and he can take his own self! He seems to be liking the job, making a few friends. The last 3 weeks he's been in NC and for the next 3 he will be shadowing someone already doing the job he's training for. Next week he'll be in 'Jersey. I have to say, I'm more than a little jealous. I mean, that's Bon Jovi country. Where Tommy used to work on the docks and Gina worked the diner all day. The week of my spring break will be the first week he's back to classroom training in NC, so I'm gonna go hang out in Raleigh for a few days. Don't know what I'm gonna do, maybe explore a little, maybe be really really lazy. Both sound like viable options.

Today is day 2 of Clomid. Cross your fingers and pray for a baby. Next week I start the ovulation predictor kit and once I get a positive, we go in for a little IUI (turkey bastin) and then the wait begins! We've been at this so long that it doesn't even really seem possible that we are (hopefully) getting closer to being parents to someone who isn't fury!

Ok, off to the car. BTW, I really miss XM radio.

I live in a place where this is a normal street sign. But only for 3-4 more months.

SO today Vic texted me to ask me if I spent $200 someodd dollars at "Snapfish." Which I have now discovered is some photo site. The answer was NO, besides the fact that I have never used the credit card it was charged to, I would never spend 200+ on pictures. Of what, Nancy? Myself? NO. So he called the credit card co. and they got it taken care of. But now there is a $220 charge to FTD!!! What the hell kinda criminal steals a credit card number and then sends flowers with it?! I mean, what has this world come to? Anyway, they knew it wasn't us and have closed the account but are letting pending payments come through to try and figure out who is using it. I can't help imagining the senerio....Criminal: "Hey baby, did you get the flower I sent you?" Hoodrat: "What flowers?...oh, and the po-lease came by here looking for you this morning...."

SO I was just sitting in the living room, with the furry ones, and one of my big pictures that was hung on 2 nails came off one nail. It freaked Carson real bad. It was weird. I couldn't get it back up there so I just took it down. This is why I don't like Vic to be gone. I have a husband. He should be here to figure out why the picture came off because it's too heavy and awkward for me to do alone. And Nancy has no thumbs to help.