Ok, so yesterday wasn't my last blog of the year. The floor man is here and I don't want to watch TV or play my new cool nintendo/atari game thing anymore.

Here in a bit I'm going to Kim's to cook dinner for everyone. We are domestic like that. I just talked to Mandy and she is just wearing jeans and a tshirt...but I think I'm still going to wear my semi-new button up shirt that is white with ORANGE pasleys on it. It's so retro and ugly. I love it. Not to mention that I get to wear my cufflinks on it and I have beautiful ones from Tiffany's that I got for Christmas years ago and don't ever wear anymore because this is the first shirt in a years that I've needed cufflinks for. It should be a nice New Years. I'm excited to just chill and giggle. And I never get enough of sweet Avery and baby Drew. They of course will be in bed much earlier than the drinking starts.

Have I told yall of my love for MAROON5 ? I don't have the CD or anything, but I have love love loved every song I've heard on the radio and that's at least 5 or 6. They are the first new group in some time that I've liked all their stuff. Assuming I don't get burnt out on them before I have a better cash flow situation, I think I will purchase their CD. And that's big because I have XM radio and pretty much only listen to it.

I was not expecting to get anything to unwrap for Christmas since my parents gave me this awesome floor. But I did and I'm going to list it because I was talking to someone the other day about how I can never remember what I get for Christmas. SO this is more for me, but anywho, here is it:

Black and Pink New Balance slides w/ the breast cancer ribbon

George Strait's 50 Number 1's CD

James Avery silver charm bracelet AND a cute kitty charm

Willow Tree Angel - Sisters By Heart Figurine

Victorian Trading Co. mustard seed necklace that says "If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed... nothing shall be impossible unto you." Matthew 17:20

Aquis hair towel

A white one and a black one that I ask for so I can wear my pretty cufflinks earlier mentioned

Chanel Chance perfume w/ my name engraved on the bottle

this picture for my living room

and some Bath & Body Works (Very Merry Cranberry & Sweet Pea) lotion and body splash stuff, a gift certificate to my hair place in Corinth, a gift certificate to Bed Bath and Beyond, and a super cool Plug-N-Play game w/ 111 different games (like Super Mario, Tetris, Dr. Mario, Burgertime, Contra, and Pacman!)

I'm really glad Christmas is over. I had been dreading it for awhile. It didn't seem like it was going to be too Merry...but it was actually nice, considering. I got some cool stuff (including a Pergo-type floor in my living & dining rooms) and saw the fam. Even got peed on by Miss Delta Dawn...it's nice for someone to be THAT excited to see you!!

My new floor was supposed to be all finished by this afternoon, but the installer dude has to come do some more tomorrow. Seems we had to get all new baseboards because the quarter-round stuff didn't fit on ours. That's what he has to do tomorrow. It's pretty...I'm so glad that my carpet is gone!!

Tomorrow night I'm spending the night at Kim and Bryan's house. Mandy & Shelley are STN too and Jared, Hog, and Toby are having dinner and a beer or so with us and then going out. It should be fun, we are going to play some boardgames...you know, we are wild and crazy. I'm ready for 2005. It's a new, fresh year. Can yall believe we are already 5 years into this century...like only 5 more til 2010...weird. I feel like I should have a space ship to fly or at least a robot to fix my hair.

Anywho, this could very well be my last blog o' the year. So I would like to wish you all a spiffy New Years and a stellar 2005!

I'm in Andrews and it's snowing. I wish I was in Mexico on a beach with a pina colada in hand. Maybe that's what someone is giving me for Christmas....but I hope it's only a one way ticket :). But if I do get that, I hope someone else bought me spanish lessons that I can take before I move to Mexico...that would probably make it an easier move.

Did I tell yall that Mr. Pesty Cat (Chester) moved to Andrews today? He's now Woobie's brother and Carson is back to being an only cat. Carson won't admit it, but he will miss Pesty terribly, he loves him when he thinks no one is paying attention. But Pesty never got used to the poodles and will be much happier in a dog-free home.

Anyway, thanks for the offers and well-wishes from everyone. I really appreciate it. The shortest possible explaination is this: Bi-Polar Disorder is the cruelest disease I know. My poor husband is having such a miserable time and I'm just having to stand back and watch him selfdestruct and take my stability and life with him. So now I've been forced into a corner where there is not a single thing else I can do for him other than pray, so now I just have to do for myself. I still have hope that he will level out and get his life back together, but for now we will no longer be married. It's an unusual situation and it requires an unusual solution, but for now the plan is to divorce legally so that he can worry about getting his personal self figured out and that I can have some peace. We are absolutely still friends, best friends, and will not rule out any options for us in the future. But one can not be married to someone that is not sure from one minute to the next if they want to live, die, or run for president. So after 6 months of walking on egg shells because I didn't know if I was dealing with the God-fearing "I love you and will make this marriage work" Vic or "everything is hopeless and you deserve better" Vic OR the "I need to run and be free" Vic...I finally had to listen when he was in the divorce mood and move forward. No, it's not what I want or feel is right; but I believe that he will not get better as long has he has me as his crutch to lean on and know that I will allow him to go back and fourth. Sad situation. More later.

I would like to send you girls a Christmas card but I do not have your addresseseseses...except Misti and Wendy (thanks for the card :)). Would yall please email them to me??? The sooner the better, or they may be New Years cards!

BRIEF PITTY PARTY: I know I'm running late with that Christmas card thing, but everything is pretty horrible in Corinth, TX right now...so I'm going with the better late than never motto. It's going to be a sad Christmas for me, but I will start the New Year off with a fresh start. And then I'm going to wipe 2004 off the calendar. But I didn't want yall to think that I fell off the planet or anything...so I thought I'd post something.

Texas Council On Family Violence - Purple Postcard Campaign

Also, I forgot to mention that if anyone would like one of these I have lots and could mail you one or if anyone would like me to fill one out on their behalf I can do that too. Just need mailing address, which can be sent to my junk email account ammthegr8 @ hotmail. Misti, just FYI, you have already sent one.

Has it really been a year since THIS??? I mean, obviously, by the dates it has been....but again this year I volunteered to hand out cookies and EVERYONE remembered that I ran the camera last year. SO guess what I got to do again? Take pictures of a little over 100 kids with Santa, which is like a 1/3 of how many I took last year. Thank goodness for rain keeping people at home.

I'm the new Vice Prez. of the Civic League. I'm excited, it should be fun...and maybe next year I will have enough pull so that I am NOT the photographer.

Are yall done Christmas shopping??? Only 18 shopping days left!!

I took the poodles to the beauty shop this morning. Usually on Tuesdays I have to be at the CPS office from 9-1 to supervise visits. So I made the poo appointment for 8 because I was going to be up anyway today. Got up at 7:30, took a shower, got dressed, got poos ready, took them to be beautified, went to Whataburger, came home and QUICKLY did my hair and makeup. I was rushing around, sat down in the car at 8:47. It takes 15 minutes to get there, so I was gona be late. At 8:50 I checked my voicemail on my work phone only to hear that my 9 am visit cancelled. SO I'm back at home blogging and checking my email.

Yesterday I was sitting in my computer chair, like I have almost everyday since Dec 2000. I like it. It's wide enough for my ass, the arms are just right, and it rocks back and doesn't pitch me in the floor. So, I was sitting and all of a sudden I slowly sank down. It broke. When I stand up it raises back up, but as soon as I sit it's back as low as it goes. And now it sits at a funny angle. I guess I'm going to ask for a new puter chair for Christmas.

William will be here tonight. And tomorrow my mom is flying in. This will be the first time in her almost 49 years of life that she has flown alone. That is amazing to me. I flew alone for the first time when I was 8. Summer after 3rd grade I went to see my friend, Kristina (who some of yall met at my wedding), in Phoenix. She moved during the year in 3rd grade and we had been best friends since preschool, it was no big deal even back then to fly alone! But anyway, Mom's first time is tomorrow. Thursday, you know, Turkey Day...is also her birthday. It, of course, is not always on Thanksgiving...but it is always on the 25th :). My dad is in WY working in the horrible freezing cold snow. He hates cold weather. And he will be working on Thursday. Sad sad.

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM!

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating pizza at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

I can't believe it's already been two weeks since I blogged. Time flys when you are having fun. Snort. Work is still wild, but nothing so extreme lately. The roaches were worse last week, but they did keep their distance from me. I go back tomorrow so I'm crossing my fingers that they continue the distance. I think I am going to get a holdster made for me to wear and have cans of Raid ready to whip out. Wouldn't that make for an impression!?

Mandy's Shelley's 30th birthday was this past weekend. Vic took off work and we went out. I just posted a few pics. It was a wild wild wild night. Sorry about the 3 am phone call, Misti. Tell Danny too. We went to Hamburger Marys. Then we went to the "gayborhood" to Sue Ellen's, everyone's favorite lesbian bar. Oh yeah, HMary's was a gay burger place...there was a fabulous drag queen to entertain us.

Ok, I've got to write case notes. I had 4 back to back visits this morning and need to get 'um in writing before they get too foggy.

Jared, Chanel, Shelley, Hog 

Michael (I think?), Mandy, VIC, Shelley....very very late in the night 

Mandy and Shelley 

If anyone thinks that they had a bad day yesterday...mine probably beat it. So unless at anytime you felt something in your hair and shook your hair out to find 3 roaches only to look down and see 4 more on your pants...and immediately after got scratched by some mangy kitten that you could see the fleas on....and had to help restrain a 9 year old child as she hit, kicked, bit, pulled hair, spit, pissed on (yes, she did. and in my lap.), cussed at (according to her I'm a "big stupid mutha f'er...as soon as I get loose I'm gona kill you bitch") for 2 damn hours...only to finally call the police to come so that MHMR could come do a psy. eval. Then I gotcha beat and you should all say "damn, Amanda, that sucks" over to the left here.

Thanks.

 

 

 

 

In honor of voting day... 

Since some of yall listen to country music, I thought I'd post this here. I graduated from Hobbs High with this guy. We hung out with the same people. He almost married my friend Aimee. Very strange.

Jared Ashley.com

I have 5 papers due this week and I'm not even close to being done. We have no food. None. And it's raining so I don't want to go to the grocery store. Maybe the rain will keep the tricker treaters away. Have I mentioned that I *HATE* halloween? I'm sure I probably did last year...and the year before....yep, still hate it. It's evil and there is nothing cute about it. My friend Sheri told me I was a halloween scrooge. I thanked her. The whole point is this: John 3:11 "do not imitate what is evil." That's what halloween is all about...

Happy Halloween?

Should Christians participate in Halloween?

Halloween: Christian Perspective on

The Dark Side Of Halloween

Ha ha, this is funny and I couldn't resist. I've been busy. I really like my job. I'm going to Andrews tomorrow. How weird is that? I used to say "I'm going home this weekend." Everyone knew I was going to Hobbs. Now I just say "I'm going to my parents house." Anyway, here is a funny. I'm back to packing.

A Love Story

I SHALL SEEK AND FIND YOU...

I SHALL TAKE YOU TO BED AND HAVE MY WAY WITH YOU...(mmm)

I WILL MAKE YOU ACHE, SHAKE AND SWEAT UNTIL YOU MOAN AND GROAN...(mmmmm)

I WILL MAKE YOU BEG FOR MERCY... BEG FOR ME TO STOP.. (mmmMMMmmm)

I WILL EXHAUST YOU TO THE POINT THAT YOU WILL BE RELIEVED WHEN I'M FINISHED
WITH YOU...

AND YOU WILL BE WEAK FOR DAYS.



ALL MY LOVE,
THE FLU

I LOVED this Friday Night Lights movie. And I don't even care about football. AND! I would have even liked it if it hadn't been about somewhere close to my home. Anyway, like I have any doubt that yall wouldn't...but go see it.

BTW, I also love Misti.

FahrenHYPE 9/11

Thought that was cool. Glad there is something to balance the insanity put fourth by Michael Moore. He's almost worthless. And the only reason I say ALMOST is because I *heard* that he is working on a documentary to expose the health care industry for what it is (cares more about $$ than lives/people) and in that, I'm hoping that he will address the prejudice and lack of care for fat people. But of course, that is just assuming that because he's fat he gets "it" so considering how ignorant he is, I don't have high hopes. Anyway. Go. Watch. Learn.

Our 2 year anniversary was yesterday. I worked most of the day. But we did go to Logans for lunch and then last night when I finally got home from work at 8 pm we went bowling and to dinner. In that order. We were worried the bowling ally would close early so we did that first. We bowled 3 games. I had not bowled since before I had fake fingernails. That was 1995. But I bowled better than I ever have before. I only had 2 frames that I didn't hit anything and those were 2 of the last 3....my hand (and everything else!) was tired. My high score was a 99. My all-time previous high score was 70 something. Also, all of the people there were college-aged to early 30's AND everyone I saw had teeth! It was weird, I figured on a Tuesday night it would be all old people. We had fun. Vic bowled 160 one game and I was very impressed. He used to bowl on a league a very long time ago, but don't tell him I told yall. It was also super cheap...$1 for each pair of shoes and $3.25 for our 3 games. Ohhh, and it was electronic & kept score for us. At Bowl-o-Rama in Hobbs you get paper and a church pew pencil to keep score. Very cool.

Two years ago today, however, we all (yall *know* who you are!!) had to drag our still semi-ly drunk selves out of bed to fly home from Vegas. I feel much better today than I did 10/6/02.

NPR : Connie Rice: Top 10 Secrets They Don't Want You to Know About the Debates

Thought this was interesting. I had always wondered why it wasn't like a real debate, you know, like the ones in high school!

It has rained and rained and rained. It's not raining right now, but it is supposed to for like the next 4 days or something.

This morning I was watching the local news and getting ready for work. I wasn't really paying attention until I heard them say the address (actually just the exact block #) of a house fire in Dallas. It was Jamey's block. I freaked out, but had missed a lot of it. I called her on my way to work and it was the house across the street from her. I was relieved. We figured it was caused by lightening. Thanks Lightening for not striking Jamey, Scarlet, & Rhett's house.

You can go to the The George W. Bush Online Store to get your very own W'04 oval bumper sticker. I have a sign in my front yard too. But I was told at the Corinth Republican headquarters that I needed to bring it in at night because they are hot items and are usually stolen. Instead I just sit outside with my shotgun at night. But that's my right here in TX. ;)

Jared and Hog moved here, actually Ft. Worth, this weekend. Toby has been there for about a year, but they all moved into a house on Friday. I stayed over there until 5 am. We played Dominos and Uno and laughed and laughed and laughed. I am so so so very happy they are here. Toby went to bed early (about 1:30 am) but he had made a crockpot full of pinto beans earlier in the night. I thought that was funny. First of all, he owns a crockpot. Something I did not have until I got one as a wedding gift. And secondly he thought "I know we've only lived here 24 hours; but I think I will make a large pot of beans." But me and the other two found them about 2 or 3 am and they were good and ready. So we ate beans and played ONE hand of Uno from until after 4 am. Very random night, but nice to have my boys back around. Landon will be here at the end of October for about a month. I can't wait.

BBC NEWS | UK | Wales | 'Tell on bullies' - grieving parents

This is one of the saddest things I've seen in some time. It made me wonder how I was so lucky to escape the "bullies" and not be tormented because I was fat. But I did. There are very very few mean situations that happened as a result of my being fat. Actually, I know 4 different times. And only one really bothered me and that was because it came from a friend, one of my best friends at the time....(LaShawn, in case anyone is curious). But I mouthed off back to her about how freaking hairy she was and she shut up. But anyway, it breaks my heart that these two fat chicks thought suicide was the way out. I hope Rebecca can move forward and start to LIVE life as a fat chick and find peace in her own skin.

I finally got a "W" sticker. But I don't think I want to put it on the new car, Satty. Working back at a super liberal non-prof, I really don't want to debate my political views with my co-workers while on hold with CPS. I just hate that the lefters really believe that republicans don't support social services. Besides, I don't want to put it on now only to have to take it off in 30 some-odd days when the election is over. I want to keep it. SO I think I might put it on the file cabinet in our office (just w/ a magnet) so I can see it everyday and smile.

Speaking of cars, we traded the Avalanche yesterday. GM was having a 3 day mega sale on their left over 04's. We got a new GMC Sierra...it is a light silver color, which I think that pic is...but ours is a sportside (which I call a stepside). Other than that, it looks just like the pic...it's got leather, 4 wheel drive, the works. So you may be wondering what crack pipe we have been smoking to need another new vehicle in less than two weeks. It was one that made us realize that we could lower our monthly payment over $100 just on the truck alone. I know that we only had 3 (of 5) years to pay on the Avalanche and now we have 5 more years to pay....but it feels better knowing that the extra cash each month can go to something else that is gaining interest. And the way I feel about it is that there are very few people that don't have a car payment....so we are pretty much always going to be paying on something. Not to mention that we can always pay extra and get it paid off earlier.

Our 2 year anniversary is on Tuesday. I am taking Vic to get a pedicure, but he doesn't know it yet. I'm getting one too of course. He's never had one, but I think it's just because he's not bold enough to walk in and say "make my feet pretty." SO I'm going to do it for him and sit next to him while he gets it done. If nothing else, he will be so darn happy that I got one he won't know what to do. I'm a good inch taller because I think my whole heel is just a callus. Yes, I'm a beast...but that's what happens to me by the end of every summer. Anyway, don't think we will do much else because my Mom will be here...so we may wait until she leaves to even do that because our other plan was to go to Southlake and eat at a Japanese Steakhouse that we've heard is good.

I like my job. I'm still learning, but next week once my CAPS are back (background check re: CPS reports) I will start with my own clients. I've been to a couple of people's houses and a couple of supervised visits for CPS. Makes me appreciate what I have materially and emotionally. It's so hard to imagine not having family or friends that you can count on. I go to a lot of places that stink and are hot. I am carrying a stool in my car because there was an incident that the only place to sit in a 5th wheel trailer would have crumbled if I had even stared at it very long. I've taught two parenting classes. Anything about child development or children's basic needs/nutrition that any of you would like to know...just ask. I think next week is on communication with your child. Ask me after Tuesday about that one.

The Beetle is finally being terminated as a family member. He is still on life-support in the hospital (read: Volkswagen service department). As soon as they get him running again, we are going to list him in the paper to sell. I now have a black Saturn Vue. He doesn't have a name yet, but we got a kick ass deal on an '04. Oh, and it has a XM Radio which really melts my butter. I love the 90's station.

School is kicking my ass. That whole thing they tell you that "once you quit you will never go back" is just not true for me. I have gotten 3 hours in the past 2 years. I have never read a textbook in my life. This semester, I'm ahead on my reading in ALL THREE CLASSES. I am also reading a book that I don't have to read, but am planning to write a paper on this man's theory so I thought I'd read his most famous work. I'm really excited about class tomorrow night because I'm working on controlling my heartrate through breathing. Yeah, it's in that neurofeedback class that I was dreading....but I'm really diggin this controlling the "involuntary" functions our bodies do. It's used for people with chronic pain and phantom sensations and such...but it's fun for me to be able to lower my heartrate just with breathing and thoughts. Anyway, this book that I'm reading is amazing.

Viktor Frankl - Man's Search for Meaning is just amazing to me. He was in four different concentration camps for years and while there developed this whole psychotheory (called logotherapy) about the meaning of life and how just having the ability to make choices, even if they suck, allow us to move forward. Very cool. These are cool things I've highlighted:

"The meaning of our existence is not invented by ourselves, but rather detected." p.157

"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life - daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." p.122

Anywho, I am busy. Probably more so than I ever have been before in my whole life. But I heard Ice Ice Baby, PM Dawn's Set Adrift on Memory Bliss of You, and Paula Abdul's Opposites Attract today on my XM so all is well.

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

AMANDA GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!

29 hours a week as the "Family Services Specialist" for Friends of the Family

it's not much, but it will help greatly $$$ wise and go nicely with my school schedule!!

Busy Beaver is my name, cleanin' house is my game!

That's all I've done all week. Even sleeping was hard because I was so anxious about my SIL coming. Some of you may remember Jennifer from my wedding. Well, she arrived today and the house is pretty and organized and sparkley clean. And now I'm ready to go to sleep and not get up for 14 hours.

I've also been going to class. They are all much better than I thought and I think that I will get through them with minimal problems. I do need to add that someone who reads this blog (M*sti) tried to be a BAD BAD influence today. I said to her "I don't want to go tonight." Her response, "Don't." But I did, so I will pat me on the back. I am really surprised that she and I got as much accomplished in college as we did living together! We are both horrible like that and such procrastinators! But I'll have to tell yall about that later ;)!

About Lydia Grotti. Wow. I am really disappointed with our legal system. I am also tossing over and over the truly distorted views of death that "modern" society has. I know it's a sensitive issue and that there are a lot of "right" answers, but really...stopping the agonal breathing an hour after being pronounced dead is now being called murder??? She admits it was a bad decision on her part...but prison? That's really scary to me. Doctors are in the business that is truly life and death, but this a situation that NO human should be held responsible for. God takes lives all the time and forcing someone to take an earthly responsibility for this one is asinine. But as we all know, God doesn't give more than one can handle and her limits are definitely going to be tested to the max. It makes me really sad and I'll keep her in my prayers.

On that note, I got a forward today that has some really good God-type quotes in it. Rather than posting the whole thing, I will post them one at a time. But I'm not starting from the beginning of the list...this one seems very valid with this topic:

"God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?"

I worked out with my personal trainer yesterday. Then came home and got in bed (it was 3:30) and didn't get up until I had to go to class this morning at 9 (sad sad, Saturday school). I thought I was going to die. Everything I have hurts. I found muscles that have been missing for the better part of my life. Luckily, school was out at 11 rather than the scheduled 3. It only meets 5.5 more times during the semester which is cool. The half comes from the fact that on Dec 4th, rather than a "final" we are going to get together for an "ethnic meal"...don't know if it'll be potluck or at a restaurant...but whatever it is is better than a test :).

Here's what I'm takin':

Rehab 5230. Psychosocial Aspects of Rehabilitation. 3 hours. The course reviews the psychological and social aspects of individual and family adjustment to disability and chronic illness, including findings of research on the adjustment process and on the relationship of psychophysiological and social variables to the acquisition and maintenance of health and illness/disability. The course also reviews some of the current theories and methods for assisting individuals and families through the process of adjustment to disability and chronic illness.

Rehab 5300. Rehabilitation Counseling Theories. 3 hours. Study of major counseling theories and techniques with focus on principles and competency in rehabilitation counseling. Course covers special applications and modifications that may be required in counseling people with mental, physical or emotional disabilities.

Rehab 5650. Rehabilitation in a Multicultural Society. 3 hours. Exploration of rehabilitation in the context of 21st-century American society. Ethnic, cultural and other diversity influences on the planning and delivery of rehabilitation services to persons with disabilities. (This is my Sat. class!)

SOOOOO interesting. I am really dreading 5230. The woman that teaches that is also my advisor and she is whacky. She is the director of the Neurotherapy Lab and is all into stuff like EEG biofeedback and the spiritual stuff & how it relates to rehab. I'm so scared. But I will be glad to get it over with. It is my most dreaded class, it just fit my schedule best. Though, I will miss both CSI and CSI-Miami due to school. See, I need a Tivo too.

I am not sad that she has passed away, because I know that she had a greater understanding of death than most people on earth. But she just had so many phenomenal ideas. She was way head of her time. But, yesterday Elisabeth Kubler-Ross she made that journey that she has studied and written on for a good 50 years.

I didn't know her-know her, of course. But I have had to learn so much about her in Rehabilitation classes that I feel like I know her. This is my favorite quote by her, I wrote it down a few years ago and I seem to read it often:

"There is no joy without hardship. If not for death, would we appreciate life? If not for hate, would we know the ultimate goal is love? ? At these moments you can either hold on to negativity and look for blame, or you can choose to heal and keep on loving." ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I am very sad about the Armed robbers stealing "The Scream". I really don't think they can walk into any place in the world and say "um, just found this...think it might be worth something." And I'm sure they know that too. So, I think that someone with more money than anyone should ever need probably got two creeps to steal these two pieces of priceless art work and is just going to horde them in some basement smoking parlor or something. This kind of art is to share, we are all entitled to see it, it is not meant for one person. It's like the sky, we ALL get to see it...just in this case, you need to go to Norway to do so...but whatever. Grrrr.

I've been so busy but I don't know what I've been doing. I do have 15 things listed on eBay right now. 2 swimsuits and the rest clothes. Several things with the tags still on them. That is crazy. I'm glad I don't do that anymore. I had a few years that I thought that I needed everything that I thought was cute at both Lane Bryant and the Avenue (the two fat chick stores located in Lubbock). I've never worn a lot of it, even if I did take the tags off. It annoys me that I did that. But I'm kind of thankful for it now, because we are rather broke at the moment and tags help stuff sell better!

Friday night Leah came in town from Hobbs and we all went to Kim and Bryan's new bad-ass house in Fort Worth. Of course, the movers had JUST unloaded their stuff (like I got there while they were still there) so it was chaos, but beautiful. We then went to dinner at Pappasitos and back to the house. Me and Jamey left then and the others went on to a karaoke bar. I wasn't up for a bar. Anyway, it was an ok night. I didn't get to talk to Leah much and the whole night was just not what we have been planning for months now. C'est la vie, I suppose.

This week I have an interview with Friends of the Family, the domestic violence/rape crisis places I used to work a few years ago. It's for the family services specialist. It's "part time" at 29 hours, which really means it needs to be a full time position, but they don't want to pay for my benefits. But whatever. It doesn't pay much, but it's flexible around school and close to my casa. So, once again, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm also meeting with a personal trainer for the first time. My package at 24 hr. Fitness came w/ 4, 1 hour long sessions. The trainers name is Joel Lucky, aren't I "lucky"?? He sounds like a game show host on the phone. Should be interesting!

OHHH! I almost forgot! Today is William's 20th birthday!!! Little Willie is no longer a "teen!" He also starts his soph. year of college tomorrow. Growing up so fast!

Ok, I'm off to register for school. Registration starts at 6 pm tonight, weird time huh? I've decided to take 9 hours. That's full time in grad school. Assuming I get a job soon, I may die. I've NEVER worked full time (or hell, really even part time!) and been a full time student. I'm going to need a lot of moral support this semester.

Sorry, Misti, as much as I wish it were true...the whole Kerry citing John 16:3 is not true. Here is the site that talks about the origins of the rumor. It was originally about good ol' GWB.

Yall may know this, but 3M Corp. (they make Post It's, and it's who my friend Lindsey Porter's husband works for) is building the World's Largest Pink Ribbon in Times Square for breast cancer awareness month in October.

For every person who clicks on THIS LINK and signs up, Post-It will donate $1 to breast cancer research AND!!! place a Post-It with your name on the billboard.

Cool huh?!

(woo-hoo! second post o' the day!!)

Since she went around on everyone else's "flooble" saying she wished she had a "flooble" could everyone PLEASE go say hi to poor poor Misti??? Thanks.

And while you're at it, Moe finally gave into the peer pressure and is floobling too. Good job, Moe...everyone go tell her so!

Oh yeah, and remember me talking about Vic getting that second job...the M-F, 8-5 one? Well, yesterday was his last day. From the get-go he was being dicked around about hours, pay, time off, working around school schedule, lunches, etc. He got a different story from every person he asked. You know the old saying about too many chiefs and not enough indians? That's how it was. SO yesterday was the last straw. He had been told when he was hired that he could be off last week and this coming week, that he would have 1 hour for lunch, and that he could leave at 4 on the days that he has class. Yesterday he was informed that people were pissed that he was getting off early for school (even though he would be going in a 7 am...that was still "getting to leave early"...whatever), that he most likely won't get lunches very often, and that he can not be off next week. SOOO, this morning after fretting about it all night, we got up at 7, I typed a letter that told them they were undependable and disorganized and that I would no longer be working there. I being Vic, of course...he just can't type :). So that's the end of that. I hate to say I told you so, so I'll just say it to yall. But I told him so.

I'm off to 24 hour Fitness for a swim.

SO I have finally taken on the task of cleaning/organizing the office room in our house. Holy Shredder Batman! Today was trash day and not counting the 3 kitchen trashbags of our normal weekly trash, we had 9 lawn and leaf bags of crap that I cleaned out, mostly shredded papers of Mr. Vic's. And I've only scratched the surface. Also, since Vic was in Vegas last week (he was supposed to be there Monday-Friday, but was ready to come home on Wednesday so he changed his flight) I thought that freed me up to go spend some $$$. I bought organizational things. I used my labeler a lot. It was fabulous. Give me another few days and then I need anyone who knew the before, to come see the after. And give me an award, because I deserve it.

The only other interesting thing lately is yesterday I went to get Vic something to eat and was driving on I35 to Denton. There were very few cars on the road, but all of a sudden there was a semi honking at me and riding my ass. I was in the right lane, the left was wide open. I can tell he is making gestures at me, but don't know what they are. I decide to exit and take the city roads just to avoid this guy. He exits too and pulls up next to me at the light. I look up at him expecting a big hairy middle finger, only to see him using his hands like paws and panting...pretending to be a dog. I am completely perplexed. He rolls down his window and says "Badass bumper sticker, chick!" And rolls it back up, I turn right, he goes straight and gets back on 35.

Oh yeah, my bumper sticker says "My standard poodle is smarter than your honor student."

Vegan Protein Sources

This was a website that I liked a lot when I was a vegetarian. This article more vegan, but it gives you a good list of foods other than meats (and eggs, cheese, milk, etc.) that have protein.
Vegetarians often don't get enough protein, so it was something I constantly watched out for.

FDA Allows Health Claim For Walnuts - Cholesterol Archives

Super Foods to the Rescue-- Steven Pratt, MD-- 02/03/04

And, Wendy, those are for you. The second one is a good article about the book/interview w/ the author that I'm slowly but surely reading, SuperFoods Rx. Worthy of a look!

SO with all these food issues being blogged about....I've been thinking about going back to being a veghead for awhile now, but more seriously in the past week or so. I think I'm going to slowly back off. Right now there will be no more pork. That's the easiest for me to give up because I don't like it much. But I don't say "no bacon" when I order a salad at Logans either. Next will be beef, then chicken, and I'm not sure about turkey. That is the one that i'm having the hardest time with. I love turkey sandwiches. Anyway, I'll update yall on my progression as it occurs. I feel so much better (mostly ethically) when I'm not eating animals. But that's just me. And don't tell my beef-cattle-raisin'-grandparents. They freeked last time!

So this woman bought a new Lexus LS400, but returned the next day complaining that she couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

'Watch this!' he said...'Nelson!'

The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'

'Willie!' he continued....and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.

The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she'd say, 'Beethoven', she'd get beautiful classical music, and if she said, 'Beatles!' she'd get one of their awesome songs.

One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid them.

'ASSHOLES!' she yelled.......

The French National Anthem began to play, sung by the Dixie Chicks, Jane Fonda and Michael Moore."

Ha ha says Amanda! This really amused me tonight! I get madder and madder at those dumbass Chicks. Can yall believe they are participating in that concert supporting Kerry (aka Frankenstein)?!? I thought that Natalie was just the dumb one and the other two just got caught up in the middle of it, but this confirms that all of them are equally ignorant. I get sick at my stomach when I think about the fact that I paid for two of their CD's AND bought a concert ticket to see them. Makes me want to donate twice as much to Toby Keith just to balance out the universe!

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle is seriously one of the funniest movies I've seen in ages. It kinda makes me feel like something is wrong with me because I liked it so much. There is this part where they sing this Wilson Phillips song. Oh my.

CNN.com - Fat activists protest diet industry - Aug 2, 2004

Well, blow me over. A MAJOR news source is publishing an article that is actually showing both sides of the fence AND quoting knowledgeable people!!! That is so exciting. I think it's just made my day. Here is my favorite part:

"Most fat-acceptance activists endorse the concept of eating healthy food and exercising regularly, but they oppose any fixation on losing weight and contend that more than 95 percent of diets fail. They also decry the rapid growth of stomach-shrinking surgery; the number of such procedures has quadrupled to 100,000 annually since 1998.

Wann depicts bariatric surgery as "stomach amputation" that imposes anorexia on patients and exposes them to long-term risks. Kelly Bliss, a self-described "full-figured fitness instructor" from Lansdowne, Pennsylvania, predicts that future generations will disapprovingly look back on stomach surgery as "comparable to lobotomies."

Bliss, who coaches clients by phone and in fitness classes, subscribes to a philosophy called "health at every size" -- preaching that health, fitness and self-esteem can be achieved independent of weight."

Just in case anyone is interested, here are the websites of Marilyn Wann, Welcome to the Fabulous World of FAT!SO? On-line, and Kelly Bliss, Healthy Living with Bliss.

Marilyn Wann's book was one of the first ones I read on size acceptance and it was truly "flabulous." She encouraged me to die my hair hot pink...ha ha. Remember that Misti???

(look at me, two posts in like 12 hours!!! BTW, how come me and Andra are the only ones who've posted in the WHOLE month of August??? Get busy girls and Adams!)

William and I did something super sneaky tonight. We wanted pizza and we both like good aka homemade ranch dressing with it. SO we ordered pizza hut online and headed that way. On the way there we stopped at Chili's and William went in and said "Me and my sister ate here earlier and got 2 side salads to go, we were supposed to get ranch but got 1000 island instead. Can I get two ranchs?" She apologized and gave him two nice sides of ranch. It was fun. That's about as wild and crazy as I get these days.

I had a SECOND interview with the Salvation Army of Dallas last Fri for the case management position. Keep your fingers crossed. Two days a week I'd work in Lewisville, the other 3 in Dallas. It would work out nicely. Doesn't pay too well, but I think I'd really enjoy the work and that is most important! Not to mention that they promote mostly within and in both interviews I was told that people move up pretty quickly there.

Frank started taking drugs to help him with anxiety. That's why the vet thinks he's so wild and why he eats everything. I know it's crazy, but that poodle seriously has mental health issues. He's only been taking it a week and I swear he's already better!

My dad's 54th is today and last night me, Vic, Will, Lance, Lori, Kelsi, Autumn, Reagan, and Mom took Dad to Texas Land and Cattle Co. and then to Marble Slab. It was fun.

I don't know why I'm really excited that Lance Armstrong won that bike race. But I am. I like when Texans do stuff like that, especially in a place like France.

So the wedding was fabulous, the night before was spectacular, and it was just a generally great weekend. I'm ready for the happy couple to return home and BLOG about it!

I'm SO excited that Andra will be in TX. We can have those kind of "blogger girls" get together much more frequently and not have to wait for a wedding. And now your baby won't be a foreigner! Thank goodness!

SO I've been back since Wednesday and I've not been doing much. I've been applying for jobs, cleaning some, laundry, etc. Today I'm trying my hand at ironing. Vic always irons my clothes because, well, I don't/can't. Today it occurred to me that maybe I could iron his scrub tops since they are pretty basic. There are a good 6 or 8 that he never wears because they have to be ironed. They don't look great, but they are now acceptable to wear. He was shocked.

SO the other reason that I was thinking that I'd do his scrubs is he took ANOTHER job. SO now he will work at Denton Regional fri and sat nights from 7 pm to 7 am and 3-11 pm on Sundays. The new job is 8-5 M-F. It's doing MRI's at an independent place. SO that means that on Sun he'll get home at 11 pm, have to be at work 30-45 miles away by 8 am the next morning AND on Fri get off at 5, drive back to Denton, go to work just 2 hours later for 12 hours. This my friends, is nutty. But he says he'll be fine for awhile, and that he's going to talk to the MRI place about doing 4, 10 hour days. I am just going along with it for now. But that means that for awhile he'll be working basically 8 days a week and will need more scrubs. He starts tomorrow. He now has ironed scrubs, which he'll need because he won't have time for much else other than a smige of sleep and eatin' on the run!

My dad is in Wyoming right now working on a rig. It was 38 degrees where he was yesterday. I want to be there too. I love today, it's only like 80ish. But I know that the miserable heathumidity will be back soon enough!

My brother was trying to make me go see something about Harold and someone going to a Castle. Instead, because apparently it's not open yet, I get to go see Anchorman. Neat.

I thought I was going to leave today, but I've had a million things to do. But I'm out of here in the morning!

I had an interview yesterday at Lewisville Medical Center. Three different positions in the ER. Should here back from them next week. I also got a call from the City of Southlake today for one of the two positions I applied for there....utility billing coordinator, but they require a college degree and pay 15$ an hour. I wasn't here, but I called back and left a voice mail and plan to try again tomorrow on my way to the flat lands.
Things are still improving here. I am planning to revise my goal list when I come back. Some of the things are completed, and a few I need to update.

I was feeling that with all my changes I needed to do a major one to the outside. Where as normally when I feel that way I tattoo or pierce something...this time I went the traditional way and chopped all my hair off. I did the Locks of Love thing. I had to cut off at least 10 inches, so we did that and then after shaping and all, it was about 11 inches. No more pony tails for me, but I do need some new barrettes. One added bonus though was that my haircut was free since I donated my hair, which made it extra nice.

I'm really excited about this weekend. I'm wearing my favorite Hawaiian shirt to Misti's on Fri night. Yes, I did need to note "favorite." I have more than one :).
 
Ok, off to shop for something sleazy. Not for me, of course...but for the bride-to-be! YEAH! 
 

I don't think I've mentioned this on here before, but I'm afraid of fireworks. As long as I've been alive, I have cried when they are close to me...yes, even sparklers. I don't know where this comes from, but it makes today a horrible day. Now, don't get me wrong...I love America and am thankful for our freedom's....but do we have to explode things to celebrate?

Fireworks are:
loud
stinky
messy
pollution
dangerous
scary to animals

Yeah! We are independent! Let's risk setting something or someone on fire! Especially a kid, "Here you go little Johnny...light this on fire and watch it explode!"

So needless to say, I hide in the house on every 4th. I'm about to go swim, but fully intend to be back in the house by dark!

So Ritalin LA is makin' me a lil loopy. BUT! It has lit a fire under my ass. So much so that I, Amanda the Great Fat Chick, joined 24 hour Fitness. Yes, yes I know. They are the ones that had the billboards that showed an alien chasing a fat man that read "When they come, they will eat the fat ones first." It pissed me off, SO I wrote them off back when this was going down. But right now it is truly the best option. And you know what? I see that sign a little differently now that I've had some distance from it and a few years has passed. I see it as the aliens just have good taste....everyone knows that fat tastes good!

So the reason it's the best option is this: 24 frickin' hours a day. I mean, damn. Who can beat that? AND they have a pool, open all 24 hrs. Not just a float around pool, but a 25 meter lap pool. True, I prefer an olympic size pool which is 50 meters, but this will do...it'll just require more flipturns!

My other options were TWU and the new Water Works Park - Denton Texas. I've been to TWU and they don't have steps, just a very narrow ladder which does NOT accommodate my ass very well. Today I went to the Water Works place and their hours year round are noon - 6 p.m. WTF?

SO I sucked up all the confidence I have and marched into 24 hours fitness and with a very authoritative voice said "I heard that you have a lap pool. I would like to see it and speak with someone about the available plans. I also would like a sheet listing all classes that are available." So they paged "Chad" and he came to find me. He took me on a tour, where I could feel the judgmental eyes of the meat heads looking my way...but I do have an arrogant side that says "you wish." Because you know, once you go fat you never go back. ha ha. ANYWAY. We took the tour, he explained it all, we went back to his desk and he started explaining the price packages. It seemed a tad steep at first...but after I broke it down it's just about 20 bucks a month...and if I stay more than 3 years, then it goes to just 24$ a YEAR. Curves is more than that, and 24 hr. fitness has a circuit area just like curves...and I'm not one of those women that gives a shit if there are penises everywhere. I don't need a single sex gym to feel comfortable!

With my plan, I also get 4 sessions with a personal trainer. Chad wanted to get me set up for that ASAP and asked if I cared what sex the trainer is. I don't. But what I DO care about is that they work with my beliefs of being fit and fat. I don't want to be pressured into weightloss at all. That is NOT a goal of mine. So I told him that and he was super cool about it. He told me that if I feel pressured after making it clear that health is the goal and weightloss does not equal health, to talk to the head of training dude and they will get me a new trainer...and not count it as a session because they feel if it's not beneficial to the client then they haven't done there jobs.

Hot damn, I was sold. I called the bank of B&T and asked for the $$ and signed the check!

Now, the next big question is would it be appropriate to start off going in this conservative suit or this super sexy rexy suit ??? Cause I have both and I honestly feel that people know I'm fat without a thin layer of lycra covering it...but it's still a little shocking for most to see a fat chick with that much skin showin'. So I suppose I will just wait until tmw when I go for the first time and see how bold I'm feelin'.

WARNING: SERIOUS TOPIC TO FOLLOW....if you don't like it, read the one that I posted earlier today :).

There is something to be said for finding strengths that you never imagined existed. I think for the first time in my life I had a preconceived notion about myself and was so afraid of it and disliked it so much that I never was able to talk about it with anyone. But in the past week I've discovered it to be false. I have had every frickin' psychology class that Texas Tech offers to undergrads and every undergrad and 1/2 of the grad school classes on rehabilitation counseling at UNT and I know the answers that are socially acceptable. Wowzers. I hate that socially acceptable crap, but it's the truth. I know how to talk to people and offer them good options for decision making in their own lives, but when it comes to my own...I suck.

It's like he says in the Finger Eleven "One Thing" song on the radio right now:

"Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds."

Yeah, that's the story of my life. I completely hold myself to different standards than I hold others too. That can be good and bad. On one hand, I hold myself to standards such as...nothing below an A is good enough. That is good because if I were always able to do it...it would be beneficial TO ME...but since I'm not, I have this "well, a B is not good enough so fuck it...stop going, make an F...I don't care." But I don't feel that way about other people. I honestly feel that B's for other people are great. I think C's are great for other people. But so often I feel like a failure and I let the fear of it happening again control every decision I make. Especially in the past few years. I've erred on the side of caution too many times. I've given up trying because I don't feel I have the energy or effort to do it and meet my unrealistic standards.

SO my "comfort zone" has been bombed. I found a WMD, it landed on my comfort zone. The only thing I can do redefine my comforts and therefore, my life. But I will also not be so complacent on letting myself get too comfortable. I've made a rather extensive list of what I would like to see out of myself and I'm going to post it because I need the help of others to hold me accountable. A lot will be accomplished just knowing that I've let others know where I'm at...I hate to be wrong or look stupid so I'm not going to let that happen. I'm the queen of excuses, and I want people to call me on them. BTW, I know that I don't usually post SO personally...but that's part of the comfort zone destruction. I don't have to seem to be fine when I'm not. Even to you guys online.

1. I am starting back to school in Fall 04 and take at least 6 hours towards my masters degree. I will finish my masters degree in a reasonable amount of time. (CHECK! I reapplied, just as atechnicality...they said there was no reason for me not to be readmitted.)

2. I am continuing to look for a job until I find one. Until then I will sell stuff on Ebay to make some $. (CHECK! Still applying for no less than 2 jobs per day and I've listed 3 items on Ebay today.)

3. I am seeking the help of Dr. Neil Jacobson on June 29, 2004 and plan to ask to be evaluated and put on antidepressants. If counseling is not recommended; I will seek a counselor on my own immediately. I will continue treatment until I am advised to do otherwise. (CHECK! started on ridalin, he thinks my depression is based in the frustrations of untreated ADHD)

**The counseling I will seek is to work on my respecting others boundaries, being happy with myself AND when by myself (not always wanting to be with someone), not perceiving myself as a victim, not having to have a "project"; and dealing better with responsibility.

4. I will be more social with my friends. I will not tell them no for no reason. Even when I don't want to do something, I will ask myself "is this something that I normally would want to do?" If the answer is yes, then I will do it.

**Also, I will answer the phone when it rings. Regardless of who is calling. If I am unable to talk, I will say so. (Haven't missed a call in 2 days!)

5. I will set my alarm for 9:30 am Sun-Fri. I will hit the snooze button 1x, if desired. I will allow myself Saturday to sleep until I wake up. (CHECK!)

6. I will go to church every Sunday. I will not accept any excuses from myself as to why I am not going. The only options for absence are being out of town, true illness, and extreme weather (ice!). I will also get involved with the churches activities on my own. I will find a women's bible study, help organize mission trips, etc. whatever it is that will feel fulfilling to me and to be a contributing member of the church.

7. I will eat AT HOME when I am hungry. I will only allow myself to eat out in social situations or on occasions with Vic when he suggests it. Otherwise, I will cook dinner that we both like or figure it out on my own. I will not ask Vic repetitively if he wants this or that. I will make the executive decisions in the kitchen, trusting that he will freely offer suggestions or requests for meals. If he does not like what I made, I am not offended and will not feel guilty because he must find something on his own.

8. I will take full responsibility for the house, at least until I have a job. This includes: cleaning/ picking up at least 2 hours per day (until I feel it is acceptable, then I will just maintain it); staying on top of laundry; paying bills; making appointments (a/c, bug sprayer, etc.); keeping the house stocked with food and supplies (tp, tide, etc.)

9. I will help more with the dogs. Specifically, I will let Frank out on Sat & Sun so that Vic can come home and go to bed after work if he pleases. I will also take the responsibility of vet & groomer visits. I will change the cat litter. Carson is/was my cat and I will care for him.

10. I will stop asking others to do things for me that I can do for myself.

**I will make an effort to stop asking questions that I pretty much know the answer too or that I am just talking for the sake of talking. I will not call Vic at work/school/when he is away from home unless it is something important. Until I get accustom to this, I will make a list of the things that I wish to talk to him about and go over it when he calls or comes home. However, I will still call him when I am going to sleep so that he knows not to call after that time.

11. I will not bother Vic while sleeping (during the days when he's worked all night). I will make/add too the same list (mentioned in 10) and save things for when he is awake.

12. I will not sit in Vic's chair when he is home. I don't want him in my chair, so I will respect his spot.

13. Only if I am home w/out Vic will I watch the living room TV. I will make a point of watching more TV in the study or bedroom, or happily watching what is on in the living room. I don't really care about the TV, and that is an agrument that can be easily avoided.

14. I will trust that Vic always knows that he is invited to go with me to social functions. I will not insist that he do things that he does not want to do socially. This includes celebrating holidays with my family, having dinner with my friends, etc. I will do the things that I truly want to do with or without him.

15. I will not impose myself on Vic and his friends. I trust Vic that he will invite me if he wants me to go, and not get my feelings hurt when he does not invite me.

16. I will not impose society's views on my marriage. I will work to listen to Vic and respect his wishes and try not worry about what others think. I will base my needs on me and not others. What Kim or Misti or Bryan or Danny do has no baring on my needs. I will be honest with myself and Vic so that I can stop holding myself AND us to unreachable standards.

17. I remember the person that Vic met/fell in love with/married. That is a more true self than the person I am now. I will work at being that person again.

This list will never be complete. I reserve the right to make changes as needed. These changes are being made for the betterment of myself. I am aware that I may not be able to do all of these things everyday. I am giving my word in writing so that I may keep focused.

I just have to share this. This is soooo my experience. I can't believe how wild I used to be!

Drinking in High School vs. Drinking in College

High School: Start by 7 p.m., Stop by 10 p.m., Sober by 11:30 p.m., Home by 12 p.m., No Hangover Next Morning
College: Start by 11 p.m., Stop by 5 a.m., Never Sober Up, Never Make it Home, Hungover Until 5 p.m. Next Afternoon (every good time has its price)

High School: Zimas and Wine Coolers
College: Beer and Cheap Beer

High School: drunk after 2 beers
College: still going after 20 beers

High School Party Attire: new shirt, new black pants, heels
College Party Attire: tshirt/sweatshirt, jeans/sweats, flip flops/tennis shoes

High School: go out 1-2 times a week
College: go out 7-8 times a week

High School: party in a field or a house where parents are out of town
College: party in a dorm, fraternity house, or house where the owner is the
drunkest person there

High School: no keg
College: keg stand

High School: pretend to be drunk in order to fit in with the rest of the party
College: pretend to be sober so that when you trip and fall/say something
stupid/slur your words/dance like an idiot, you won't be known as "The
Drunkass"

High School: rarely go out on school nights
College: always go out on school nights, especially when you have a test the next day

High School: drink to the sound of the car stereo or tiny boombox
College: drink to the sound of a DJ or live band

High School: throwing up is completely unexceptable
College: the more you barf, the cooler you are, especially if you can master the Puke & Rally

High School: 5 shots and the night is over
College: 5 shots at the pre-party and the night has just begun

High School: stroll into the party carrying a beer
College: stroll into the party carrying a 30 pack

High School, day after party: jump out of bed, declare "I feel great!" and smile as you remember the night before
College, day after party: groan and roll over to check out whose lying next to you, declare "I think I'm still drunk," and pass back out after unsuccessfully trying to remember the night before

High School: "Let's play a drinking game! I have cards!!!"
College: "Let's play a drinking game! It's called '1...2...3...CHUG'"

High School: "Shit! It's 2:00 a.m. and I just got home...waaaaaaay past curfew."
College: "Shit! It's 2:00 a.m. and I just ran out of beer...and all beer stores are now closed."

High School: save allowance/lunch money to pay for alcohol
College: sell back books/donate plasma/sell belongings on Ebay to pay for alcohol

High School: pingpong
College: beerpong

Customers to Enjoy a De-light-ful New Experience at Starbucks

Yummy. Free Starbucks. Will and I will go tmw to try these out. I'm not a fan of frappuccinos, but I feel since it's free that it would be the perfect opportunity to re-try them.

William had me list his playstation2 w/ games on ebay. He wanted the "buy it now" price to be $250. It sold w/in 3 hours. I was shocked.

So we ate here, Fogo de chao, last night. It was fun. The other place we ate at the night before was The Magic Time Machine. They made me wear a balloon hat all night and sang to me. The Toothfairy was our waitress. She threw like 200 cocktail napkins on the table for my "party decorations." We also ate the Roman Orgy. Waldo (of Where's Waldo), Aladdin, Buckwheat, and Toothfairy brought it out on huge platters singing and feed each of us grapes. We had to bite off a bunch of grapes. The same bunch. Kinda gross, but we all did it.

Anyway, it was a nice birthday. I did more for it this year than in the last few years. Vic also got me a Baskin Robins cake and we had that after Fogo last night. Tasty.

SO today I tried Coca-Cola C2. I liked it. Didn't think I would, but I did. I used to drink diet coke back in my diet days and I liked it. But then I quit, and then I learned about the weird chemicals in it, but sometimes I still get a hankerin so I drink one. Usually with Jamey, she is the DC queen. But once I realized that all of the gums I like have the same weird chemicals in them, I got over that. So today I got a C2. Honestly, I couldn't tell the difference. Once it got a little warmer I could sort of taste the DC after taste, but still on the whole a good product. I only bought one bottle of it, but I would buy a 12 pack if I were going to buy coke...but I don't buy it for the house anymore, so I won't. But if I did, I would. Get it?

Also, today I broke my record. At the grocery store I have a personal competition going on to see how much I can save. My previous record was $44.55. Today, I blew it out of the water!!!

I saved: $127.44. That breaks down to 39.93 in clipped newspaper coupons and a whopping 87.51 in Kroger Plus Buys. Of course, even with all this we spent about 300 bucks...but we got a shit ton. Like more than one basket full. Like I hadn't been to the store in over a month baskets full. It was so fun.

I also went to Sally's and got two new polish colors, new top & bottom coats, and nail strengthener stuff. We got stuff to wax Vic's brows too. He is starting to look like a Persian rug dealer again and since his sister gave him her old professional wax melter thing, we broke down and bought all the crap for me to do it for him rather than going to the salon. It will be interesting. I've never waxed anything on anyone before. Unless you count when Misti and I got Nads in Lubbock and we got in our swimsuits and attempted to wax each other. That was a fun afternoon. Landon let us Nads his nose, but other than that...it didn't work too well.

Anyway, tonight we are going to see the Terminal. I'm not too excited about it. I know I'm the only person on earth that feels this way, but I hate Tom Hanks movies. I like two: Big and The Burbs. Neither made in the last like 15 years. Haven't liked one since. But Vic and Will wanta go, so I'm going.

Count down to the dreaded Lubbock trip: 3 days.

26 years old. Such an awkward age. It's not young enough to still really be considered "young and dumb" but it's not old enough to really know what the hell is going on. It's just sort of a blah age. I think that's how I'll feel until 30. That seems to be kind of a turning point. At least there is a name for people in their thirties, "the thirty-somethings crowd," so that will be nice. The association with people in their twenties is college and I've been finished with that for awhile now. On the few occasions when I go to the bar's these days, down on Fry St. by UNT, I feel old. Even if I'm not necessarily older in years, I am in that my college experience is over. Not that I'm sad about that...me and school have never gotten along too well. I don't learn the way the way most teachers want to teach so I was never to swell at it. But I graduated and that's what counts :).

Anyway, Happy Birthday to me. I'm a blah age until I'm 30 and then I think I'll briefly feel old, but I'll quickly get over it. I'm excited about aging, not scared of it at all. Fat people don't wrinkle and I think gray hair is pretty cool. I don't have any yet. In fact, yesterday I added more blonde. Then my super cool stylish chick blew my hair dry straight. It was fun. My parents were both shocked when they saw me.

Tonight we are going to the Magic Time Machine for dinner with Lance & Lori & the kids for Father's Day and Amanda's Day. It should be fun. I always loved that place as a kid and I'm excited to take Kelsi, Autumn, & Reagan there. They will love it. I'm sad that Vic has to work though. But tomorrow night my parents, Vic, brother Will, and I are going to Fogo de Chao for dinner and then coming home to my ice cream cake :). That's for my birthday again so Vic can be there.

NOTE: I attempted to "blog this!" to both restaurants, but neither worked. SO I will add that later. Both are so awesome, MTM everyone is dressed in different characters and all the tables have a theme like the Valentine's booth and a real school bus. FDC is a Brazilian steak house that you don't order off a menu. Everyone gets a plate and goes to a kick ass salad bar, then they bring you a clean plate and every person has a coaster with red on one side, green on the other. When you flip it to green (for GO!), all these men with big skewers of meat come running by you asking if you would like this and that. They bring family sized mashed potatoes, fried bananas, and this strange bread. It's wild.

Survey finds over 60% of clinically obese women began dieting before 14

More proof diets don't work. I mean, anyone can loose weight...but it's that whole gaining it back thing that makes diets have a 95% failure rate. If I was diagnosed with XYZ disease and they said "here is the treatment, it will cost a shit ton of money and there is a 5% chance it works." I'd tell um something about where the sun don't shine.

The majority of people don't get to be fat like me any other way than dieting. I lost 20, gained 25, lost 25, gained 30, and so on. That's why people in this country are getting fatter...they keep dieting.

The majority of people aren't cool like me either, but that's a whole nother story!

Starting with the letter

These kid's interpretations of idioms has really amused me. I just love stuff like this. Kids are funny.

So I missed Moe's shower because of my parents having eye rot. I am so glad that I am going to the wedding because I cannot miss Moe in THAT dress!

So, Mandy moved back in with us. But just til August. It's a long story, but suffice to say that where she was was too cramped and she can't get into the apt she wants til Aug. So with William here, 2 giant dogs, 2 cats, and a married couple...why not add a Mandy into the mix?

We might be getting my car back today. We still don't know who finally paid for it to be fixed, but we are going this afternoon to find out. The #1 reason I want to know is so if it's screwed up again...we know where to start. I'll have to blog later the grand total of repairs this time 'round. I just can't wait to have my own wheels back. It's hard to rely on others to tote my ass around.

I am going to Aimee's "bachelorette" night in Lubbock the weekend of the 26th. It's been the biggest ass whip just trying to get the damn thing planned. And I'm just talking about the planning to get there. But one thing that I have learned from this planning fiasco...I am NOT making plans with other people ever again before I'm 100% sure of what I want to do. I hate being pressured into making plans. I am not a planner and all of the people that are involved in this shower know this about me. So from now on, my plan is to get everywhere on my own on my own damn time and if people don't like it...then don't invite me :). Am I excited about this weekend? About as excited as I would be if I were planning a root canal. So just in case anyone is wondering, I'm gona be in a horrible mood until I return home on the 27th.

Did I mention that Sunday I turn 26 and I get an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins? That is the only thing I could think of to tell Vic I want. Well, except a VW Touareg.

SO we made it to Hobbs. We stopped in Andrews on Tuesday night because B&K were there looking at their house and ate with them at the CC. We were the only people there. I ordered what I order every time, chicken strips. I bit into strip #3 and there was a bone. I gagged. I don't eat things on bones (fried chicken, T-bone steak, pork chops, etc) because they completely creep me out. I couldn't eat anything else and it's going to be a long time, if ever, that I can eat those there again.

Yesterday Vic unloaded all the parents lights alone. Then he and I went to the U-haul place which had gone out of business. The address was printed on the receipt from U-haul. They don't exist. It took us forever to figure out where they moved too. Then Vic and William's two friends Anthony & Jordan loaded my parents formal dining table, 8 chairs, china cabinet, buffet table, couch, & two fluffy chairs into this tiny U-haul. I was amazed it all fit. But all that is mine now. Yeah. I can't wait to get home and see it.

Vic left this morning at 6ish. He has to find someone to help unload it...William is not enough help. I think the U-haul has to be back tomorrow, so who knows who he is going to scrounge up.

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with Bernadette, she is off work for the day of mourning. Then I'm getting a manicure & pedicure. Fun.

My mom gave me some Burt's Bees tinted moisturizer and I love it.

Moe or anyone else who cares to clue me in, what time is your shower and where is it??? I'm excited :).

The New York Times > Health > I Beg to Differ: The Fat Epidemic: He Says It's an Illusion:

This is a nice article. Pretty middle of the road, if you ask me. Just stating the facts. I do have to comment on this:

"Everyone notices that there are more overweight people now."

The bigger issue is WHY people notice fat people more...because the media bombards us with grossly thin people (think: Lara Flynn Boyle). We get used to seeing those people so then when we see a normal person (think: Sara Rue) we call her "fat." When in all actuality she is normal. We have also become so obsessed with thin that we notice those that aren't.

Anyway, I'm off to Hobbs. Probably the last time I'll ever be at my parents house there because as of August they will live in Andrews. I think they think that I will come visit as often as I always have. Well, that is just not true. I have to say that I spent about the first 20 years of my life avoiding Andrews and that's probably not going to change significantly. I mean, I'm sure I will go...but not like I do now. I'll still go to Hobbs, stay with the grandparents, stop by the parents house on the way to and from. It's also going to be an especially sad trip because this is the first time I'll be there since Rowdy died. It's going to be strange.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISTI! I'm worthless and didn't call you, but I thought about you all day.

Now, I know I'm and old stick-in-the-mud and that I really shouldn't put this much thought or effort into this...but what the hell is wrong with Miss, sorry, Mrs. J-Lo??? I mean, does she really believe that a marriage to a man that has only been divorced ONE WEEK will be the lifelong mate she's dreamed of? Maybe it's like Brittany Spears wedding and she will sober up and get it annulled. Either way, I bet they don't make it a year.

We are off to Hobbs tmw. We moved our table that was in the dining room into the breakfast area, without the leaf of course. We also sold the old kitchen table to a kid that Vic works with. He just moved out of his parents house. It was a really cute table, but it was SO cheap that I was just waiting for the day it feel apart. Don't buy stuff at Rooms To Go, it's crappy.

I have comments! Someone please comment!

We are about to blow away. Tonight we've been under a tornado WARNING and it's been raining forever. The little town on the other side of Denton from us, Krum, reported 4.5 inches of rain in 1.5 hours. I had the cats already in the bathroom just in case we had to herd the poodles in there too to take cover. And in the middle of it, once they got rid of the tornado warning and it just went to flash flood watch...William wanted to go get wings. So I took him to WingStop, but on the way home he was saying "Maybe this was a mistake..." He's obviously from the desert.

We aren't leaving until Tuesday. We just have too much to do to leave tomorrow and with me staying until Sunday...I wanted to wait another day to leave.

I did have an exciting day today. Mandy called a little after noon and asked if I'd ride with her to the "landfill." I foolishly agreed. Seems her parents freezer lost power and they didn't know it so 200$ of new cow and all the salmon they brought back from Alaska...melted? Well, it was damn nasty. And the landfill didn't smell any better. We saw a dead skunk on the way there and I wanted her to stop and pick it up to use as air freshener! After she put on rubber gloves and slung the trash bags into the dumpsters we had to go wash out the sludge that was still in the back. The smell was STILL there. She poured bleach in the back. If that doesn't get it out they are really gona have to get rid of that truck. It's that nasty. She's still here though, can't get home cause of the storms. They are headed to her house so she would be driving right into them. I keep telling her to just stay, but she's whining about having to get up early to get home (Dallas) and get back to work (Carrollton) all before 8 am. Big Baby.

Ok, I'm off to watch the Soprano's. It's the season finally. I hope someone gets wacked!

I am very sad that good ol' Ronald Reagan died. He just seemed like a nice man. Of course, when someone says his name my mental picture is of him in the Sledgehammer video, you know, by Peter Gabriel. He's like made of rubber and in his bed about to drown or something crazy. My second mental view of him is the mask in Point Break that one of the bank robbers wears. Obviously I don't remember much about his presidency other than he was the president, but still I liked him.

Avery's party was fun. I couldn't go to sleep last night. I felt like I had a million things to do. I was folding laundry at 4:20 this morning and in the shower at 9. I didn't sleep much. I'm excited to go to bed tonight. I am going to make every effort to make it to church in the morning. I am going to beg William to go with me, but I seriously doubt I can talk him into it...but he doesn't have to leave for work until noon so maybe.

We are going to Hobbs on Monday. Vic is coming back here on Wed. and I'm staying til Sunday. We are taking my parents their lights for their house that they bought here and they are giving us their dining room furniture. I'm riding back w/ Mandy & her sister so I should see all the Goff's which will be fun. I've not seen Jason since his wedding last Sept!

Ok, I'm off to play AstroPop.

THIS is what I got Avery. Swimsuit and sandals and a hat. Well, Mandy got 1/2 of it. It's very cute and what Kim told me she wanted. I really wanted to buy THIS but it's not the one Kim wanted so I resisted.

In other news, seems the warranty will NOT be covering the over $6,000 in damages. They called today to tell me that when it was wrecked and we had it fixed, the body shop did not bolt the radiator back in right and it caused it to sit funny and rub the whole in the hose. SOOOO, Vic called the body shop and they were rude and said "we didn't even touch the radiator, this is not our problem" so he got the manager on the phone. We found the original estimate as well as the final itemized receipt and both mention radiator work. SO they lied. Last we knew, the body shop was headed to the VW dealership to take pictures of my Beetly. They never called us back, but we went down to the dealership and talked to our "service case manager" and he said that he is "optimistic" that the body shop's insurance will cover it all. But still, another damn weekend of holding my breath. If they don't we are going to get an attorney. This is the first time in my life that I've ever been serious about suing someone. I mean, after all, it does say in the bible that we should not sue each other (1 Corinthians 6:1-8) but if you try to work things out to no avail, then sometimes it's ok (Matt 18:15-17). I didn't grow up in a lawsuit family anyway, it just wasn't the way things were done. My family was more like the Mafia. Kidding. I wish, if so I would SO not be worrying about whether or not I will get my car fixed...I would KNOW it would be fixed. Ha ha.

I have had this disease for the last two days that I feel like I need to sneeze constantly and I can not. Vic gave me an allergy shot yesterday and I've been taking Clarinex. It kind of gets better and then it gets bad again. Like my eyes are watering so bad and I have the worst tingle nose but no sneezes. I would give anything to sneeze. I went in the kitchen last night and sniffed the pepper so I could sneeze and it was orgasmic. I felt better for a few minutes, but then it came back. This has never happened to me before and I hate it.

Wow, two blogs in one day. I'm good.

I met Kim and Bryan at the hospital yesterday to watch Avery while Drew had some tests done. Two year olds are great. I love how you can see their little minds exploring and constantly learning. She is very independent and stubborn. Just like her Moma. The tests all came back surprisingly well. Being with Drew I completely forget that he has Spina Bifida. It's a scary reality when someone brings it up.

After that I followed them back to their house. I hadn't been there yet since I've been without my Beetly. I have a LEWISVILLE VW SERVICE LOANER for now. The reason I say it like that is because that's how it's written in giant letters on my back glass. Neat. Their house is really cute.

Avery's second birthday party is tomorrow so I'll be going back for that. Today I need to go shopping for a gift. I really want to buy her clothes because little girl clothes are just so darn cute...but I'm sure she would rather have a toy.

I had ordered this months ago and it finally came yesterday. I was so disappointed because the "crop" pants need to be hemmed so they don't drag the ground...and it's not like I'm THAT short...5 feet 4 and 1/2 inches, thank you very much! Making it Big is my favorite fat girl store and everything always fits me exactly right. It's still very cute though. I have a thing for natural fiber clothing. No polyester on this fat girl!

Extreme Ironing Bureau :: Ironing under the sky

Are these people for real?

Seems the "fan" rubbed a whole in the "radiator hose" which made it overheat. Beetly has to have a new fan, radiator hose, "short block," and "turbo charger." But the warranty is going to cover it. Even though I shouldn't have driven it once the light came on, it was still the car's fault. I can not even begin to describe how relieved I am. I really thought I was going to get real friendly with public transportation.

It put me in such a good mood that I agreed to go see "Soul Plane" with William and Abby tonight. Of course he's paying. I'll let yall know just how bad it is...

PopCap Games - AstroPop

This is my new useless pass time. I just found it today and already I'm addicted.

My AC is still crap ass. But I'm not paying for it to be worked on again on a holiday weekend. So we have to be hot til Tuesday. It's probably not unbearable to most...78-79 during the day...but it's damn hot for me.

Mandy's car got broken into last night and she just found it when she was on her way to get me for dinner and a movie tonight. The considerate burglars just busted out her small back window...you know, like the smoking window...rather than the big one. Then they unlocked it and dug all around only taking 15 CD's from her visor. She had 4 pairs of sunglasses in there. Also, if the considerate burglar had noticed...there is no CD player in the dash...where could it be? In the trunk with about a million more CD's. Dumb Asses. Anyway, she called the pokey to file a report and was told to leave a message and "someone will call you back between one minute and four hours from now." Thanks. It was four hours. We ended up going to Tia's and sat at the same table that we all sat at (Misti, Moe, Wendy, Tom, Laurie, Davis, & Me) so that we could see her car out of the window to make sure no one took the already broken window as a "window" of opportunity.

We also rented a movie. We got In America and came back to my house and watched it. It was a really sweet movie that I've wanted to see for some time. Though parts of it were hard to understand because of their Irish accents.

I've been on a movie roll lately. Nice to escape reality :)!

I forgot to re-add in yesterday's post that as I was blow drying my hair upsidedown (I like it as oneword, thanks)...I noticed that it didn't seem to be blowing very hard...then I noticed I was really hot and so was my hand (just thought it was the fact that the house was 2 million degrees) ...but when I smelt smoke I decided to get rightsideup. It was on fire. Not just sparks...they were there too. But the opposite end from where the air comes out had flames. And my dumb ass kept holding it, screaming for Vic, but I didn't want to drop it and it burn my rug. Vic unplugged it and the flame burnt out and neither of us were shocked, electrically that is.

THEN, this happened AFTER my last post...but last night about midnight I thought someone was bustin' my back fence down. I freaked and went outside with a flash light. Seems a giant tree decided to fall over into my yard from the forest behind us. It's propped up on my cute rot iron fence. The city won't come until Tuesday. My dogs eat wood then yack. But the city said "it the tree hit your house, that would be an emergency...but just in your yard can wait for business hours." Bastards.

But I've been out of bed for a good hour today and so far nothing I've touched has exploded.

I just typed this whole huge blog only to have the power flash at the end of it. Perfectly fitting in my last 36 hrs.

Overview of last blog:

I had to have a hysterosalpingogram yesterday at Vic's hospital. I had to hop up in the stirrups w/ his coworkers working "under the hood." Neat, thanks, see ya at the Christmas party!

Then as I was taking a nap after my test, I was damn hot. I woke up to discover the AC was broken. We had to sleep last night with it two million degrees in here. Well, if you can call that sleep...I didn't.

So Vic called them to come fix it at 7:30 this morning on his way to work at a temp job. They gave us the neat hours of "between 8 and 5." I waited till noon when Vic came home and I headed to Kim's house in Weatherford (she moved Tuesday!).

I got about 15 miles south of Denton on I35 (around TX motor speedway) and the temp gauge came on in the Beetle. I called Vic, he told me to pull over and turn it off. I did. He called the insurance co. and we were out of the free towing distance to get it to Lewisville VW or some shit. SO I sat for about 20 minutes and headed back to Denton. I drove 7 miles at 40 mph w/out AC, radio, etc while the temp gauge was flashing when the OIL light came on. About this time I was turning into the UNT campus and trying to get into the Exxon station when the car completely died in the street. I lost the power steering but was able to coast 1/2 way into the IHOP parking lot before the smoke started billowing out. Oh, but right before it died...when I would hit the gas, it sounded like a lawn mower. So I called Vic crying, people were honking at me, he called a tow truck and headed up there. He pushed it into a parking space, we went into IHOP and ate lunch while we waited an hour for the tow truck. It was the first time I'd been cool in over 24 hours. Seems I burnt the engine up, but that's not the final verdict...the "other guy that usually looks at um' is already off for the holiday" so maybe it's not completely dead. Because it if is, it's several thousand to fix, but I refuse to drive it ever again so at this minute he is going to sell it for parts and we will share a car until I get a job.

So then the AC guy finally shows up at 4:50. We were low on freon, he added some and I had to pay him $151. Bastards. He was here for 15 minutes.

So that was the overview of why it sucks to be Amanda today. And then my blog was erased.