When I know I have to get up early, I can't ever sleep well. Besides that and sleeping til noon yesterday and then taking a "nap" from 5:30-9...I've not gone to bed. I laid in there from 2 til 5 am; but all I did was flip flop and rub Nancy's tummy. At one point I was almost asleep, but then I heard a HUGE bang. I called Vic, but he said I was being paranoid. I was *almost* back asleep again, and then he called me back to see how I was. I then was calm enough to get up and investigate. Seems one of the felines knocked the ironing board over and the iron and all hit the wall. They have fun at night while the poos sleep. SO Now I'm about to get in the shower because we are going to the 8:00 am service at church. This will be our 4th Sunday in a row at Denton Bible church. Cool.

I too would like to add my excitement about the baby Greaud that has surprised us all. I mean, I suppose it was a surprise...we ALL know how babies are made...so it was an obvious chance. I just see so many good things happening because of this. Besides the fact that HE (I had a feeling even before the Chinese pish-posh said it was a boy!) is a blessing from God...Misti will change in so many ways...all for the better. She is scared of doctors and has always worried about her health, but because she is scared to seek answers...she just worries. No more! She will be pricked, prodded, and examined beyond her wildest dreams...and then she will have answers. Yes, it will be hard for her to get used to. She'll bitch and moan (Misti?! NEVER!) but in the end, she will fell EMONTIONALLY so much better. I also have worried about her feeling like she doesn't have enough to do, that too will never be the case again...at least not for a good 20 years of so. And the dogs, well, it will be hard to break it to Deltie, but they are going to have to realize that they are just that. Dogs. I know, I know. I love mine in an abnormal-too-extreme way too, but with the way Misti loves to be da Mom...it's just perfect...Waco won't be the only boy child anymore...they will all have a new HUMAN brother. And Misti will get to housetrain someone who she can teach to flush and not use the decorative towels. It seems all the big news Mr. Meme has had in the last few years has either been bad, or if it's good...it's been shadowed by the bad. But this, other than her being in shock and having a little fear of the unknown, will be good. It's a way to break the old patterns and move on by starting a new generation of "Matthews" to carry on the legacies of the past.

Anyway, keep in mind this is an up all night ramble...but I just think this is just what M&D (Misti & Danny OR Mom & Dad!) needed. And I couldn't be more excited to start buying BABY stuff!!!!

Darn funny. I say, darn funny!

"SMART POODLE"

A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her faithful pet poodle along for company.

One day, the poodle started chasing butterflies and before long the poodle discovered that he is lost. So, wandering about, he noticed a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The poodle thought, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard was about to leap, the poodle exclaimed loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here."

Hearing this, the leopard halted his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror came over him, and slinked away into the trees.

"Whew," thought the leopard. "That was close. That poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figured he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So, off he went. But the poodle saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon caught up with the leopard, spilled the beans and struck
a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard was furious at being made a fool of and said, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the poodle saw the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thought, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sat down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hadn't seen them yet. Just when they got close enough to hear the poodle, he said....

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

I got an email today that said "Marissa is now your friend!" Glad to know it's official.

We are going to eat and to a movie of my choice for my birthday eve. I think we are going to go to Red, Hot, & Blue (the best bbq joint!) because I never get to go there cause Vic hates bbq & to see Finding Nemo. There's not much else out right now that I want to see, and I'm actually pretty stoked to see the fishy movie.

Vic brought home a surprise lunch of chicken salad sandwiches & a carrot cake from Celebrity Cafe in Lewisville today. He got out of class and went all the way to L-town to get it for my almost birthday. Sweet boy.

I don't think I could possibly take care of 3 weenies and 1 waco. I have two poos and two kitties that make me insane. Well, only when the poos harass the kitties, but whatever, they are not as bad as the Greaud hounds. But I don't think they will be running of to Vegas again anytime soon...ya know:)))???

Nancy & Frank LOVE pig ears. They are completely gross, but since they occupy their time AWAY from the felines...I LOVE them too. Until today. I told them both to sit and gingerly stuck two fingers in the bag and pulled one out. Frank sat first, so he got the first one. I stuck the same two contaminated fingers back in the bag to get Nancy's (she was waiting impatiently) and pulled out another greasy ear only to see it still had it's TATTOO ID on it! BLAH BLAH BLAH! It's not as if I didn't *know* what it was...but when I saw his number, similar to our social security number, there on his little pink ear...I felt like the devil. Who in the hell thought up selling PIG EARS (and lamb lungs and cow hooves and the likes!)??? I remember why I was a vegetarian. Ahhh, the good ol' days.

I'm going to Abilene tomorrow for Avery's birthday. I went shopping for her today and ended up with tons of stuff. Including new lipstick, new sheets (for me & Vic), and Vic some clothes. All much needed & on sale. Well, except my 2 new lipsticks...they weren't on sale; but they are tried and true colors that I am almost out of. Chanel, ya know. Their lipstick is superior to all others. So smooth. Though it smells like a grandma. But that's probably just me...my Mema has worn it forever...so that's prolly why I think it's grandmaish...I'd never thought of that til I was typing this. Amazing.

I went to an interview for a PRN job and came out with a full time offer. Wierd how stuff like that works. Still not sure what I'm gona do with it. The offer, that is. Well, I guess it's not offically mine cause they still have to do background checks and whatnot...but since I'm sweet and innocent; there's no prob.

We didn't have electricity for hours last night. I was dying of heat and wanted to go to a hotel. Yes, I'm spoiled. About the time I was going with or without the hubby...everything came back on. I took a shower by candles/Vic pointing the flash light in so I could see what I was doing. Sounds almost romantic...but it SO wasn't.

We are going to lunch with Karen (Vic's old co-worker) tmw. She is awesome. She's a gazillion months prego with her 3rd kid. It should be fun.

Speaking of pregos, Kim and Bryan leave for San Francisco on Sunday to see what surgery baby Drew will get. So keep praying!

It was either another present or paying the 17 bucks (!) to mail it to you. I had it all loaded up and took it to pack and mail (yeah, it still would've been a day or so late...but still, I was gona mail it before the 7th) and because one of the things I got you is heavy; it was going to cost an arm and a leg to have some dude who was already going anyways to drive it there (UPS). So I decided to go back and buy something else and just wait until I see you, which shouldn't be too long. Besides...it's fun to get stuff late rather than all at once. Duh. But yeah, overall, I'm late. Getting places, getting things places, whatever. I run on a different schedule than most other people. Though that is not intentional. Vic and Mandy used to call me Molasses because that's the speed I function at. Better late than never, and since I don't like worms...I don't care about being an early bird.

Have I mentioned that my (well, Carson, Nancy, Frank, and Mandy's) Vet is so beautiful? Well, he is. I love going to see him. I drive 15-20 minutes to his office; it's in Lewisville.

This morning at 7ish Vic asked me if I'd go clean up Frank's crate because he has destroyed his pillow that his Aunt Meestee had made him, and he was leaving for work. SO I drug myself out of bed, got a trash bag, and began picking up the cotton fluff from ALL over the room. Once done, I told him to get back in and go to sleep. I was sitting on the floor at this time and he was looking at me weird. He was kind of shaking and ducking his tail between his legs. So I pulled him to me and he flipped over on his back. I thought he was just being cute, not wanting to go back to bed. Then I saw it. Giant knots in his stomach. It almost looked like he'd grown his balls back. I wigged out. I just knew he'd eaten so much of the pillow stuffing (and the metal rivits out of Nancy's collar yesterday....) that his intestins were twisted and stuck or sumthin'. So I called Vic, my Mom and the Vet. I hurried and showered and rushed him to Lewisville so he could be checked out.

When we got into the room, Mr. Pretty Vet came in, picked him up, flipped him over on the table and died laughing. Seems Mr. Frank was having an erection. How the hell was I supposed to know that boy dogs have the ability to "grab" on to the female dog during sex so they can't get away? I swear, it was the size of a golf ball on each side...he said that he was shaking and ducking his tail because he's a teenage boy that doesn't know what to do with all these feelings.

I wanted to crawl under a rock and die! I was so embarrassed. He was kind enough not to charge me though; he said "How could I charge you...you made my day!"

SO then I had to call my Mom and Vic and tell them...they both laughed. My Mom told my Dad, he laughed too. I wish that someone other than me had seen it; they would have thought he was seriously ill too. But just keep in mind those of you who have male dogs...even if they are de-balled...they still get woodies that look strangely similar to balls.

I had a break down last night.

I've been avoiding carbohydrates as much as possible because of this crapass "syndrome" I've got. It's seriously driving me crazy.

Vic went to the store because I had thawed out ground turkey to make a meatloaf (yummy, a loaf made of meat...*blick*...) and forgot we didn't have any eggs (because I boiled them all to make deviled eggs, breakfast, ya know). I decided since he was going, I'd make him a short list of things to get. This was my list:

eggs, milk, cantaloupe, frozen strawberries, fresca, diet coke, whole wheat noodles, dryers sugar free chocolate ice cream

He comes back with all this crap like ruffles, doritos, and COKE...just to name a few. I stood in the kitchen and stared at the coke. I swear, it called me to it. It was like that orange mountain dew commercial, where the guys are drawn to it like bugs to the bug zapper. So I ran to it, misty-eyed, ripped the box open, opened the (hot) can, and began to drink. Vic was saying "Amanda. Put. The. Can. Down." and all I could do was cry. He chased me to the living room and took the can. He, like the very sweet husband he is, went to the cabinet and got a glass, filled it with ice and poured it over it...and returned it to my pathetic, blubbering ass.

So I gulp the whole thing down in the like 2 minutes flat. It was the best thing I've ever had. Seriously. The bubbles tickled my nose and it was just the perfect temperature, and that sweet bite that I've known for my last 24 years was like a long lost friend.

And then I stopped. Vic was staring at me, telling me he would throw them away...he didn't know it was a "big deal" to bring home the real, true coke along with the crapass diet coke that I requested.

That's when it occurred to me. This is not a venture that will come to an end. It's not a sprint to the finish line, because there is no finish line. Get well, get back to life…nope. This is my new life. And last night I put all of my frustrations with this infertility, crazy hormones, 3 month (AND FUCKING COUNTING!) period, insulin levels through the roof, etc into one shiny red can with roller coaster on it. What I would not give to be a kid and want to take it to 6 Flags and redeem my discount!

On top of that, these tasty Sorbitol/Mannitol/Xylitol (sugar alcohol's) they put into things such as my dryers ice cream, cause gas. They are still tasty and not like a chemical, but the molecules are so big that the body can't absorb them...so they are used in lots of "sugar-free" products...I sound/smell like I've been living on 3-day old Allsup's burrito's for the past year!

Oh yeah, FYI, and if you (I) take somethin’ for the gas, it will break down the molecules of the 'ol sugar substitutes and cause Mr. Pancreas to make more insulin...thus defeating the purpose, so one must deal with sounding/smelling like a pack mule.

My husband really must love me. Snort.