Department 56: Products

UPDATE:

I won the diaper bag. Misti, do you wanta borrow it? I have no baby that needs me to have a bag to carry their diapers. DO you think Danny would mind if Davis had a pink poodle bag??? HA HA.

I did not win the shower curtain rings. I have the damn curtain and no rings and there are NO MORE for sale on Ebay. I am obsessed with checking for them...I search for "Cherie Poodle" "Dept 56 Poodle" "Poodle Shower" "Poodle Curtain" first thing every time I get on the computer. Somewhere someone has some poodle shower curtian rings they want to sell on Ebay and I will find them. Have no fear.

I had a brief affair with Ebay back in March of 2002, but do to better judgement, I ended it. But then, a particular cousin of mine got a Vera Bradley wallet on a string. It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute and handy! I need a new wallet. I love Vera (I introduced it to her!). I don't know where to buy it close to my house, and besides...even if I did...I don't battle holiday shopping crowds unless absolutely necessary. SOOO, what's a girl to do???

That's right. So far I've won:

1 cute cherry shirt for me
2 pink poodle (Miz & Mr) for the guest bathroom
1 anastasia print wallet on a string
1 pink petal wallet on a string
1 poodle shower curtain

Waiting to win:
poodle shower curtain HOLDERS

Watching (ie: trying to get control)
poodle socks (for me, not the poos)
a poodle diaper bag

Did I mention that Vic said "NO" to decorating the guest bathroom in poodles? Won't he be surprised! And no, I'm not pregnant...but someday I'll have a baby and will I be able to find a pink poodle diaper bag when the time comes? That's the question. Therefore it is an item of necessity.

And all of this is Misti's fault. She got the cute wallet on a string on EBAY and told me to get on too.

I am offically done Christmas shopping. And that is amazing. I am about to go to the post office and mail off a few things and after that...I'm done with everything except for wrapping the items that have not yet arrived. I think this is the first time in my life that I've ever been done this early. There have been years in the past that I have not finished shopping until AFTER Christmas...I am SO on the ball. The Christmas Tree Ball.

DentonRC.com | Denton | Local News

Another exciting night as a photographer. And don't think I didn't shake it like a polaroid picture, because I did. Mostly because it was a polaroid picture, but hey...Outkast would be proud. Anyway, I volunteered to hand out cookies at the Christmas Tree lighting for the City, but since I had experience with the camera...I got to take pictures of kids with Santa. So, as you can see by above mentioned article, pictures were free and it was in the newspaper. I took one hundred million pictures. I know that my arm that was holding up the camera is going to be sore tomorrow because that damn thing got so heavy as the night went on. Only probably 6 or 8 kids screamed their heads off. Most were sweet. Especially this precious little boy, probably 3, with Down Syndrome...he ran to Santa and hugged him over and over.

But by far the best part of the night was when these two sisters probably 7 and 9 were telling what they wanted for Christmas. The 9 year old was done, so Santa looked at the 7 year old and she said "A BABY BROTHER!" and her Dad (standing next to me) just laughed but then she yelled "but I can't have that cause Dad is CUT!!" And she said it during one of those lulls in the crowd so everyone seemed to hear and then bust out laughing. He looked like he wanted to crawl in Santa's bag! Funny funny.

LubbockOnline.com - Hostage victim hit by eight shots; two officers narrowly escape bullet wounds 11/25/03

Here's the most recent article, including pictures. This is the saddest thing. I haven't been able to get it out of my head. For the few of you who read and don't know about this, the "boyfriend" she was in bed with was a good friend of mine. He was held hostage for 4 hours before being let go. He's not doing well at all. Yall keep him in your prayers please.

The Way to Erase

If you girls have not tried this badboy, you are SO missing out! This is the most amazing thing I've ever tried...My mom had told me she loved them, but I just finally bought a box of two (about 2$) and tried it tonight. I never take off my watch or bracelet so underneath most of our light switches are little black scuff lines from me feeling for the switch in the dark...gone w/ like 2 swipes. It also fixed one of the most annoying things in my house. Not until after we moved in and sat down on the toilet did we notice that they got dry wall stuff on the frame of the doorway into our little toilet room (you know, not the bathroom...the shower, sinks, etc are there...but we have another door that goes into the the tiny toilet room). I mean, that's not something I thought to do...sit on the toilets and inspect things from that eye-level...but now, everytime I'm there, I stare at on spot: for a good 18 inches there were lots of thick splatters of dried dry wall on the smooth painted door frame. I have tried to scrub and scrape it off only to make the test areas look worse. Mr. Clean Eraser came to my rescue. I didn't really think it was going to work on that part, but I had just done the marks under the light switch and thought I'd give it a shot...wowzers. I went through the whole house, but am going to do it again tomorrow in the natural light...not to mention it was so fun!

I love to clean IF I can see dramatic results. Maybe that's why I wait so long in between cleanings. There something so exciting about dusting/cleaning and looking at the rag/paper towel and seeing what you've accomplished.

I often feel like I'm slacking in the wife department when I look around my house and there is sheer chaos. But tonight I reminded myself why it is NOT me. We spent 4 hours "organizing" our office. It doesn't look like anything has been done. Why???

Because there was so much frickin mail that we had to go through that nothing WAS done. There was a box that I thought was just stuff he hadn't unpacked (from when he moved in 19 months ago!!!) but tonight we went though it and it was mail that was UNOPENED from 1995-2000. HOLY HELL. He has every bank statement he's ever possessed. He has every receipt from every college he's attended (a good dozen, btw).

Also in this box was a collection of patches and pins. I assumed they were military related and ignored them. When he finally got to them he held them up and said "What should I do with my bowling awards?" Um. Let me think...we could put them on the mantle above the fireplace, or frame them next to my diploma...or ohhhh, I KNOW! Let's put these nifty bowling awards in this big white TRASH sack here so they can go out with the rest of the crap! He looked like I slapped him. But he won, they are still here...for now.

But tomorrow I will try again, to clean clean and clean some more. Maybe things will start to shape up, or I may have to ship out. Ha ha, right.

What I would not have given to have been a fly on the wall!!!!! This is the email (subject: Killer Kitty) that I got from my mom this morning:

"Bob saw a mouse in the sunroom while we were watching tv, then I saw it and screamed. It made me feel creepy. I went and woke up the cat and brought him into the sunroom. He sat at the door meowing to get out. Bob showed him the mouse for quite a long time before kitty saw it, chased it, caught it. He had it in his mouth carrying it around. I said "Pick him up and shake him" Bob wouldn't. Kitty dropped the mouse to play with it and it started to move again...Brave kitty caught it again. He was slobbering holding the mouse. Bob went and got a broom and hit the cat to make him drop the mouse, then Bob beat the mouse to death. Brave Bob. I was trying to climb in the chair. I didn't want the mouse to run over my feet or touch me at all. Kitty can't drink after me anymore. Toilets I could ignore but mouse slobber..yuck..probley poison.

Got to go pour out my water because the cat did get a drink. I will go wash it in HOT water.

It is 1:08 in the morning. Where are you?"

Holiday Hooligans -- Share the Fun of the Holidays with Strangers!

I think this is so super cool. After I get my shopping done (including my "Angel" from the kid list at the domestic violence shelter), I'm hopeing to have an extra 20$ish and send someone something.

When I was a kid I used to put quarters in people's mailboxes so they would have a surprize. I now know it's breaking a federal law to open another person's mailbox, so I stay outta there.

Have I mentioned that I love to buy things?

Dallas Christmas Festival 2003

This was the most awesome thing last year and I'm excited that it's time'o the year for it again! I was not excited about it last year, I mean, I wanted to go...but I just figured that it would be a run of the mill Christmas show.

You see, in Hobbs, every year we went to the "Singing Christmas Tree" at Taylor Baptist. It, too, was in the sanctuary and took up the whole stage. It was a giant tree with people standing in it and they sang Christmas songs. Sure, there were plenty of lights and glitter and glam by Hobbs standards. But this pales in comparison to the Prestonwood Baptist Chruch of Plano, TX's Christmas production.

You see, Prestonwood has about the same number of members as Hobbs does residents in the WHOLE town. The first time I walked into this church I was like a deer in headlights. It was the Sunday after THE Sept 11th and I went w/ Mandy and her mom. We parked so far away that we had to ride a bus to get to the door and once inside...stores, maps, and more people than at TTU & Texas football game!!!

And this Christmas Festival? THE CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL? Wowzers. It started off with a traditional Norman Rockwell Christmas scene...ice skaters (on real ice!), horse drawn buggies, carolers, the whole schabang. Then Christmas Rocketts. And if that wasn't enough...there was half time and then the Christmas Story. Complete with Joseph and Mary and Inns Keepers and Camels w/ Wisemen walking through the aisles of the church...ohh, and donkeys and sheeps! And a real baby...not just a doll wrapped in a blanket! OHHHHHH...and how could I forget! ANGLES from the ceiling came swooping in. Un-be-leave-able.

SO am I excited about going this year? Yes I am. I hope to go more than once. I hope to be razzle-dazzled again at this Vegas-style Christmas Show right here in DFW, TX!

I volunteer with the Corinth Civic League and last week I signed up to work at the city halloween carnival. Somehow I ended up being the photographer at the JUNIOR HIGH DANCE. I have to say, before this experience there was very little doubt in my mind that I was at least semi-ly cool. I listen to popular music, watch MTV, stay kind of on top of trends, etc.

I new 3 damn songs the whole night: the chicken dance, the macarena, and the YMCA. What the hell? I also could tell by the way they addressed me and stopped misbehaving when they realized I was watching...that I must look old. I was also a tad horrified at the dancing. I know, I know, that is exactly what my dad said upon my first jr. high dance...he was referring the what we called "freaking." I was horrified by lots and lots of pelvic thrusts over and over and over AND groups of BOYS dancing alone, even slow type dancing AND all kinds of middriffs showin'. What happened to the dress code?

I was also amazed at my ability to just look around the room and in the brief 2 hour time span know pretty much how most of the kids would turn out. Like who would live in government housing, who would have 4 different STD's & 6 kids w/ 6 baby daddies, who would be the drunks, future mental patients (I saw LOTS of those!), as well as, future politicians, teachers, computer gurus, etc. I never believed my mom when she would say she could "just tell" about someone and that would be the reason I couldn't hang out with them...and she's been right about them all...and now I know how she did it.

In other news, I gave two weeks notice to my job from hell. I can say that I gave it my best shot but that I definitely majored in the wrong thing in college and that I will never again work at any job that requires me to take a self-defense class before starting. I have learned SO much about myself and about people and about the world. I know that's a lot of learnin' in just four short months, but state run mental health clinics are a whole world outside of anything that the general population can even fathom. Sooo, I have applied for several jobs OUTSIDE of the mental health arena and am crossing my fingers that I get one soon.

I bought a Christmas present today for someone. Can yall believe it's already that time? Target had Christmas music playing! That was weird as I was sifting through the halloween stuff (I needed some socks for next year).

Off to watch a movie. I <3 Netflicks.

I just read that obese women in their 70's may end up getting Alzheimer's 10 to 18 years later than their thin counterparts.

What the hell??

Anyone who lives to be 80-88 has lived a lot longer than the normal life expectancy.

But fat kills everyone early, so how the hell can we know that they don't get Alzheimer's as early??

Researchers amaze me, they talk in frickin circles.

"Tonight on the News at 9: there are more fat people in the USA than ever before...and at 9:15 the life expectancy of Americans has increased by 3 years...and at 9:30 fat women have better memories after age 85...and at 9:45 we will examine the lastest diet craze, because everyone must stive to be thin!"

Duh.

Well, it's official. Frank is an award winning poodle. True, there have been many days that I didn't think he'd see a year....at least not in my house! But he did (on Oct 12) and yesterday he finally earned his "keep." He won "Judges Favorite" in the costume contest at Bark in the Park. He was dressed as himself, a devil. He won us a gift certificate worth an $85 car detailing! Yeah! He was clueless that he won, but Vic made him go over and shake the judges hands. So proud!

Flower Mound Humane Society - Rescue, Protect, and Educate

I'm working at this this weekend. I have been working on it forever now and it's finally here. I'm excited for it to get here and even more excited for it to be over!! Vic is such a trooper. He gets off work at 7 am after being there 12 hours and is going to take a fast nap and then get up at 10 to bring Frank to walk AND be in the costume contest! You have all seen his costume, nothing too fancy...but still very cute. Maybe he will win us some loot! There is a car detail up for grabs that I'd really love to have!!

Ugly Wedding Dress of the Day

I know I've mentioned this before, but could all of you please go there and read the blog from Oct 9th. My my my. This is my favorite site ever.

Speaking of hidious things that I love. Has anyone other than me and Bryan Bell seen that new show on that new SpikeTV.com channel called "Most Extreme Elimination Challenge"? It is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Seriously. It's all these crazy asian people doing insane things...on I guess their version of game shows. But all the people are voiced over w/ American humor...totally making fun of the contestants. Oh my. I laugh till I cry whenever it comes on.

Now that we've talked about good things...remember how I thought I was going to die because I had to stay at work for frickin ever today? Well, someone better check my pulse. Holy lunitics, Batman! I worked from 7-5:30 NO BREAK. I was posta leave at 5 but the bastard ass phone rang and it was some bitch that was yelling at me because I can't get her into a Dr. 5 o'clock on a Friday, mind you.

Then, I finally leave to come home only to find that all of OK was sitting on I35 trying to get to a damn football game that isn't even until tomorrow. And you know all these meatheads are in spiffy, spunky moods because it's like the weekend and it's football and it's the big game and I just want to go home because I've been talking to crazy mofos and they have to NERVE to honk at me and wave an OU flag at me. My first reaction was to give them the "guns up" sign because that's the only one that comes naturally (you know, from making fun of people that do it for real all the time). But then I remembered that TTU wasn't playing here. So then I tried to get the hook'um horns sign together. But in the end, all I could muster was a big phat extended middle finger. It takes me 12.5 minutes to get to and from work on a "normal" day. Today it took me 49 minutes to get home. I hope UT beats the livin' tar out of those flag flyin' I35 hogs (sooners, whatever).

Photo Album

Rowdy couldn't move last night or this morning so the poodle ambulance came to get him and took him to the vet. He has something wrong with a disk in his neck and has to be in a brace for 6-8 weeks. I am so relieved that it's not more serious than it is. My mom told me on my way to work this morning so I prepared work that if something happened (ie: Bob saying he had to be put down) I was going to have to leave. He is not "just a dog." There really is no such thing. He has been a wonderful brother/friend for 12 years. He often was my only friend, like when I was grounded and forced to only see the people who lived there...I liked him best. I hate that dogs don't live as long as people. There will never be another Rowdy. Don't get me wrong, I love Nancy dearly. And Frank too. But Rowdy is one of those one-of-a-kind 4-legged friend. But lets all just celebrate that he'll be fine for now! Yeah for poodle ambulances! Yeah for poodle neck braces! Yeah for Dr. Kuitu (vet) who made a house call last night to see him!

In other news, I went to bed at 6:30 pm last night and forgot to set my alarm...I woke up at 6:20 am and just barely made it to work on time (at 7). I didn't have time to pack my lunch, so Vic brought it to me. I love that.

I have to go to a training thing on Friday so I will have to work til 5 rather than 3. It's a good thing it's a Friday or I prolly wouldn't be able to make it. I do get to leave an hour early on Wed & Thur :). Yeah for leaving early!

Seems someone (MISTI) miscounted. Just to set the record straight, I take:

Daily:
1 clarinex (for allergies)
1 vioxx (anti-inflammatory for smushed siatic nerve)
1 prenate (prenatal vitamin)

Weekly:
1 allergy shot

That is quite a bit fewer than one million. You are just acting like your grandmother, it's in your genes to go to the Dr. and have a laundry list o' drugs ;).

The sheer idea that someone would find it "funny" is offensive to me. It may have been written on a satirical website, but it is something that is really going on in our society. There are little 80 lb 16 yr old girls that feel they will just die if they hit 100 lbs (talked to one today, in fact). Could it be that they grow up in homes where their mother's are obsessing about their own bodies...poor body image is a learned behavior. There is a multi-billion dollar diet industry out there that encourages women to look like Calista Flockhart and Lora Flynn Boyl who are absolutely not realistic roll models in any form or fashion. We, as stupid Americans, have fallen for this idea hook line and sinker...but if you stop and think about it...does the weight loss industry *really* want us to loose weight?? Hell no, then where would they get their billions??? But we keep trying, keep feeding the industry. More Americans are on a diet now than ever before in the past, yet we are fatter than ever before...um, duh, it is because dieting makes you fat.

So why is this particular thing offensive? Because it's really, right now, today happening...women want to be as thin as possible to fit it...this fictional women was excited about looking sick...that IS reality, it's not a joke. And the fact that someone would even take the time to joke about this phenomenon is repulsive.

I love the Onion, I read it often...hence how I found the article. It's fun to joke about politics, Martha Stewart, or the latest scientific research. Joking about something that is real but most people don't realize is real is not.

Unfortunately it's not an issue that most are passionate about or even understand, but as a fat girl who has recovered from an eating disorder, I do and am and absolutely don't appreciate a poke being made at something this serious.

The Onion | Actress Excited To Land Eating-Disorder Ad

This is fucking sick. Tell me we don't live in a pathetic society. I am so glad that I am not this sad sad girl.

Ugly Wedding Dress of the Day

I don't know if I've mentioned this guilty pleasure of mine here before, but I thought since they've recently moved I'd remind yall that it's there. It amuses me so much. If it wasn't already being done by someone, I'd do it.

Obviously, we made it back from the wedding safe and sound. Thankfully, Andrea's dress is/was NOT on the fore mentioned site. It was a nice wedding. But in case anyone is curious, I HATED the Lodge where it was & we stayed.

I love history. I love culture. I love New Mexico. But I want to shit, shower, and sleep in something that was built after we landed on the moon...and for damn sure after the turn of the 20th century. It is NOT neat to me at all to have to stay somewhere that my great-grandfather used to say was "old and worn out." Of course, I didn't find that out until my grandmother told me upon my return. Vic saw the room and instantly started to whine. "Why are you doing this to me, Mic?! I saw a sign for a Fairfield in Ruidosa...can I pleeeeese call them?" If it had been one of his friend's weddings and him making me stay somewhere like that...I would have acted even worse. But anyway, we lived...though we only stayed one night. The other night I was sick (read: hung over) and so we went back to Hobbs.

However, I would rather have lived there the rest of my life than go back to work today. Sad sad.

The Lodge Resort - Cloudcroft

This is where I'm off too tomorrow. Yesterday and today I stayed at work extra because I have to make up 8 of the 16 hours I'm missing of work. I only had 8 sick hours to use. I've made up 4 and next week I will make up the other 4. I'm SO excited about the trip. I'm excited to spent 2 nights in Hobbs (haven't been home since May 19th and that's a LONG time to me!) and 2 nights at the Lodge in Cloudcroft, NM. Oh yeah, and the wedding (Jason Goff's) will be fun too. Who can complain about free beer? Ha ha. No, actually I am looking forward to it. I'm excited to hang out with the boys...Pud, Slap, Hog, Toby, Jared, Mandy, ect. I think Vic's even excited about going. We need a vacation. And how bout the fact that this is our 1 year anniversary trip? One year. That blows my mind. I swear, I still haven't had my wedding dress cleaned...or put together the guest registery book thing...or put all the crap up we didn't use on our honeymoon (pocket rain ponchos, sunscreen, etc). Time flys when you are having fun, I suppose!

I'm glad to know what color to buy. Though, I will admit that even though I, too, have said that it was a boy from day one...I am disappointed that I don't get to buy pink stuff. Pink stuff is more fun. But there's not a thing I can do about it, and I'll love my little Davis even if he does have to wear blue and sleep in a camoflauge room. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the least bit disappointed it's Davis joining us and not Madeline...it's just that I love pink. I'll deal.

I'm off to finish packing and go to bed...have to get up in just 7 hours!

This amused me so I thought I'd share:

"A Good Pun Is Its Own Reword.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I."


Happy Sunday :)

I just found out that a lady I knew died last week due to long term complications due to weightloss surgery. She's the second one this year. Beyond being really sad, it really pisses me off. Two amazing women that I've had the pleasure of knowing have died way too early because they were trying to fit into the "thin" body that they weren't naturally meant to fit into. Isn't the current theme that it's "deadly" to be fat...well, it's also deadly to do this horrible self mutilation. Surgery induced anerexia/bullima.

This is my friend that died last December:

http://www.eskimo.com/~leiba/

I talked to her so much when I was trying to make the decision to move in with Vic or not...she really encouraged me to make my own decision and not listen to other people...to "follow my heart."

Anyway, if you know anyone that is considering WLS, tell them to go to NAAFA.org and read about the info they have compiled re: WLS.

This chic walked into work today and slit her wrist in the lobby. Wild shit, Man. If I had seen it I would have quit.

How the hell to I get rid of whatever this crapass disease is that Misti's computer sent to mine? I am tired of working at the speed of dial up on my frickin cable connection.

I'm going to buy new shoes. I need some dress shoes for Jason's wedding I'm going to the weekend of the 20th in Cloudcroft, NM. I don't know what I"m wearing yet, but maybe shoes will motivate me to make a decision.

My mom is coming tomorrow. My dad is dropping her off on his way to OK to work, he'll come back on Thursday night to STN and they will both leave on Friday (you know, once I'm off work and actually have some time to hang out...) Vic called her and told her to bring her frying pan because he wants her to make chicken fried steak...something I refuse to do. Not just just CFS, but fry anything at all...if I never learn how, I won't be tempted to do so. The same day he called her and told her to bring her frying pan...I called her to tell her that I wanted her to have breakfast cooked and ready to eat no later than 6:30 am so that I can have few days off from eating cheese bagelbites & a yogart drink thingy for breakfast. She said she would. So basically she is coming to my house to cook for me and Vic. I wish she would move in with us. She is a good cleaner too. That's pathetic, I know.

Work seems to be a tad better. I don't HATE it there, I only hate it there now. And I can see that I am about to only DISLIKE it there pretty soon. Maybe I'm becoming a hard ass and I don't mind telling people "no Dr. for you for long time...sucks to be you" or maybe I'm just getting more familiar with the options and I don't have the same panic attack everytime the frickin phone rings.

I started going to Curves. I like it. Today I didn't like it, but I only slept 4 hours last night, but I made myself go anyway. When I first started I went in w/ my verbal boxing gloves on to let them know up front I didn't want to hear a damn thing about weighing, weight loss, or lossing a single inch. SO far they've remembered my message. I'm going to go MWF and do the standard 30 minutes until I adjust to that and then add either another day or another round the circle. Anywho, the main reason I'm doing it is I needed a stress releaver and other than smoking a joint, all I could think of was exercise...so I made the grown up decision to get sweaty rather than get high :)

I saw a car on my way to work this morning that had two bumper stickers. One said "I <3 my wife" (that's a sideways heart...duh.) Can you guess what the other one said? Yep. I sure did. It said "I <3 my husband." I wanted to honk and flip um my ring finger's next door neighbor, but it was 6:30 am and I figure only old people and those who are still drunk are out on I-35 at that time...so I just rolled my eyes and wondered how in the hell two hetrosexual people that damn queer could find one another. And then! That kick ass song from about 1990 "Things that Make you Go Hmmm" came on the radio and all was right with the world.

Vic got up this morning and ironed my skirt before work. He also did all the laundry today and cooked dinner. I like having a house husband.

This is the first day since I started last week working 7 am to 4 pm that I've not been laying in my bed at 5. But the 7 to 4 is really an illusion because I don't take a lunch and leave at 3 pm. I will get used to it, but for many many years 7 a to bout noon were my prime sleepin hours. I will be a new person, assuming that I survive. Am I the only one that didn't know it was dark at 5:50 am? That's when my alarm goes off. It pains me.

Today when I got off work I met Vic, Teri, & Heather at Sweetwater to grub. Since I don't take a lunch, my breakfast is GONE by the time 3 comes. (Though, I do have a Fussion yogurt smoothie and pretzels at 11ish. So I guess that's kind of a lunch...but still, it's not much...just enough so that I don't die.) But, NEways, back to Sweetwater. It was so good and so fun. But some how it seems Vic and I are gettin' another cat. I know, I know...that's insane. But Teri and Heather are moving and they can't take Chester the Cat with them. He's a sweet baby, just 4 months old. He's going to come meet all the furballs here and see if he gets along well. I really might turn into one of those old ladies with a million cats...except I'm gona have a husband and 2 poodles to go with them. I feel I should also mention that Chester is my Dad's Dad's name. He crossed the rainbow bridge (I know that's just what they say for animals...but it's my idea of heaven...rainbows, puppies, kitties, etc. so I can call it that if I whan-noh) 1.5 years ago, so it struck me as humorous he was already named that. Just like Mandy Sue! We added the Sue for Mandy to go with Mandy Rue and I think we might have to add a Ray to Chester to match Chester J. Even though the real Chester was a J. rather than a Jay, R. doesn't have the same effect.

I'm so excited Meestee is coming this weekend. We are going to a fashion show "fall back into fashion" on Saturday. Jamey's goin too. It's benefiting the Corinth Civic League, which I'm a member of. I, of course, had no intention of going to something of the sorts (like one LEG would fit into a damn thing those skinny bitches is sportin') but it seems that in the bylaws there is a rule that states that all members will buy a ticket to whatever we are having. If I have to buy a ticket, I'll be damned if I don't go. SO Misti & Jamey are going to accompany me to it. Fun. At least we get lunch. Other than that, all I know we are doing is sleeping late and going to Burlington Coat Factory. Some fun a pregnant Misti and a grown-up-job-having-Amanda are!

I don't know who thought of Netflix, but I love them. I've only been a member about 3 weeks...but I've watched more movies than I have in a long long time! I love to see the happy red envelope in the mailbox. I don't check the email account that it's connected to very often, so it's extra fun if I don't know exactly which movie is here for my viewing pleasure. You see, in case some of you don't know how it works...its 20 bucks a month and you get to rent unlimited movies. You go to the website, make an enormous list of movies you want sent to you and they mail them to you w/ a little thingy to mail them back (shipping both ways is included in the $20 bones). You always have 3 movies at a time. So like I got 3 in the very beginning...I watched the first one (Real Women Have Curves...loved it) and put it in the mail the next day. The next day I watched "Far From Heaven" (loved it too) and mailed it back...the next day I got "Pi: Faith in Chaos" (seen it before...liked it better last time...but still crazy!) and on and on and on! I watch, mail back, get the next. They let you know by email what movie they are sending next out of your choices and also when they get one back for you. AND! I can go to the website and "rate" movies and based on what I say, they make recommendations. It's so fun! SO I'm back to my movie watching self that I used to be when I first moved here and had no friends and no Vic. I love movies, they are good escapes. One thing I did notice when I went on there yesterday to add to my list of future ones sent was that I was picking more comedies than I normally do...maybe that has to do with too much action/reality in my real life?!

Anyway, we got this new bad ass desk and big office hutch thing and it's just jammed into the office room. It's driving me crazy. It really didn't look this big in the store. We don't know how we are going to get it set up but I hope Vic figures it out soon. I'm so ready to organize it all.

I went to the grocery store yesterday because all I wanted to eat was fruit. Lots of fruit. All kinds. What the hell? SO I bought: peaches, plums, strawberries, cherries, grapes, oranges, apples, bananas, and watermelon. In all actuality, there is no possible way I will be able to eat it all before it goes bad. But I couldn't decide, so I bought all that sounded good. I did however talk myself out of the cantaloupe!

I stayed up until 4 am making a budget. I got the idea and I couldn't stop. It's complete with a pie graph to display where our money is going...and I also included things like a housekeeper :) and poodle grooming and charitable donations...I thought of it all!! Vic was shocked and amazed. I was so proud of me. Because as most of you know...I don't even balance my checkbook...I just "guesstimate" so it was a major feet for *ME* to come up with a budget!

So, working the crisis line is stressful. I know you are saying, "Well, Duh, hence the name..." but I used to work a rape crisis line and it wasn't nearly as stressful. Poor, mentally ill people can really be demanding! Actually, I've not had anyone be rude...but it totally breaks my heart to hear the frustration in their voices when I explain about funding, budget cuts, and how that in turn means we can't help them because they are not among the "priority population." I feel like I've been hit by a train. I am home and I don't intend to leave my house until I go back to work on Monday.

So I saw that Miss Moe was not being sweet, but since I know her family and whatnot reads her blog...I thought I'd better investigate. And then I saw what "Mike" had on his piece of crap site. I cannot tell you how pissed off I am! I looked all around his worthless website that he had the balls to enter into a contest for a place to leave my comments (i.e. take out a weeks worth of frustration) and he doesn't have a way to contact his sorry ass. Figures.

I meant to tell yall, Jamey reads my blog. And we thought we were alone! Anyway, everyone go up to the top and say hello to J-Ko! Oh, wait. I forgot no one ever listens when I tell them to say stuff, except Andra. So, completely ignore me as always...that's fine.

I totally can not believe that *I* have a job that has stuff like a 401k. I seriously don't feel any older than I did the day I graduated from high school. I can remember at the end of my first semester of college (at the College of the Southwest in good ol' Hobbs, NM) this thought running though my mind "Oh MY GOSH! One down, only 7 more to go!" What a fool I was...try like 9...ha ha. But anyway, I may have thought stuff like that again...but I don't remember it...the time just kinda flew by. It is just really weird to me that I'm a "grown up". I have always looked at people in professional positions and assumed that they felt like grown ups. I left work for lunch today and opened my sun roof and sang the Beastie Boys as loud as possible. Vic was telling me that there is a new ER doc that listens to Wide Spead Panic and Phish and is taking off soon because WSP is going to be in concert. Since when did people that like these bands get old enough to be doctors?! I am sure that I've mentioned this before, because, well, it's almost a daily occurance that I am reminded how old I DO NOT feel. But then again there are times like when I try to intoxicate myself on those few rare occassions and I have to clear my schedule for the next 48 hours because I'm not going to be capable of leaving my couch...I'm reminded that I'm not 18 any longer. So I suppose that we feel relative to the situation.

Anyway, this week is NEO (New employee orientation). So fun. Tomorrow I get to watch "Get a Grippa on HIPPA" and other neat videos. I wrote my name at least 200 times today, and not just doodling like in college...signing real stuff. If I wasn't used to havin a new last name before now...this fixed that!

Have I mentioned that I hate Frank? Ok, so I don't HATE him...but I do hate having to deal with him. He is 9 months old and still a holy terror. I can't turn my back on him for a second w/out him destroying something, peeing (he leaks), terrorizing a cat, humping Nancy, or (kitchen) counter surfing. Is he EVER going to frickin' grow up??? I told Vic last night that if at 18 months he is not a "normal" dog...he's going to get real acquainted with the people at Poodle Rescue because I'm not doing to deal any longer than that. It'll either be him or me, and I'm not letting Vic get all that life insurance I signed up for today so easy!!

I don't know if I could ever associate with a person(s) that decorated an innocent baby's room in something like:

http://www.mysistersstore.com/baby_boy_bedding_accessories.htm

Then again, working in the mental health field...we must (re?)generate clients somehow. And this is definately enough to cause a severe disturbance in development. Besides, if he (or she, God forbid!) is crying...how in the heck could you find them?!

**NOTE TO MISTI: if reading this when having a hormone rush; please do NOT take me seriously. thanks.

Ok, SO I never went to bed last night...couldn't sleep. Anxiety. But the job was good. Misti and I both had our first day of work today! We are no longer housewives!!! Well, she kinda is...her 2.5 hour work days leave a little to be desired...but it's a good start Mama Mist!

Just in case anyone was wondering...the first crisis call that I listened into today was a guy spankin' it while asking for more meds...you could hear the porno blarin loud in the back. Apparently he's a repeat caller...the chick takin the call knew who it was as soon as she picked it up. But I damn near died when she said "Stop doing whatever is making you breath heavy..." This seems even more excitin' than the domestic violence/rape crisis line!!! I'm starting to sound like a heartless sicko...but what else can you do but laugh?!

So it's not even 8 and I've figured out what's for breakfast tmw (cheese bagelbites, just like today), got what I'm wearing together, got lunch figured out, been to the grocery store, had dinner w/ Vic at Quizno's, and am in my jammies going to bed. Not just to watch TV, no, I'm going to sleep. They finally installed our shutters in the bedroom today. I can make it very, very dark in there. Perfect for going to bed when there is still a good hour of daylight.

Glad there's no cancer, Moe. Is it weird that we are both having things tested for cancer? Aren't we like a good 40 years too young for that? Whatever, I'm just going to use you as my inspiration and assume that mine isn't either...especially considering I've not really been worried about it...but if yours had been yes, then I would have worried...but since it wasn't, then I won't. That's some young & dumb logic for ya!

Ok, nightynite.

Surgery was, well, surgery...I lived...but I still don't know anything. I start my new job tomorrow (tuesday). I updated my wedding website FINALLY, so now it has real wedding pics one it. And one of Mandy Sue, the cat...not to be confused with Mandy Rue the woman of honor (aka bridesmaid).

I'm going to bed...I have to be there at 8. But after I'm trained (2 weeks from today)...I have to be there at 7 in da mornin'. Holy alarm clocks! I feel my whole life has been altered. Tonight may be the last time I see midnight for the rest of my life. Sad, sad.

I finally put the links at the top. Good job, Amanda. Thanks, Amanda!

I almost have a job!!! YEAH! I just heard from MHMR and they said that all of my references were excellent and that now the paperwork is going to the "CEO" and to HR to be "signed off on" and that I should hear back from them today or tomorrow. They want me to prolly start on Mon or Tue! Yeah! Hip-hip-hooray for a paycheck!

I'm having surgery tomorrow to check out whatever's broken. I'm having a D & C and a hysteroscopy. D & C does not stand for Dusting and Cleaning as my mother would have you believe, but it is actually a Dilatation and Curettage...which means dilatation of the Mr. Cervix and curettage (a curette is a surgical spoon) to scrap (nice choice of words, huh...vomit) the lining of the uterus. The hysteroscopy is this little camera they look around with. They send all of the "sample" that is removed to the lab to test...and since it's Friday, they put whatevers recorded on the camera onto a DVD for me to bring home for my personal viewing enjoyment. Please excuse me, I'm feeling a little sick and twisted dis mar-nin'. Of course, for all of this I'll be out like trout...so I won't know what's goin on.

My parents are on their way (they left at 4:30 a.m.) so they can take care of me all weekend. Yeah for Bob and Kay!

In better news, I talked to my friend Whitney for one million hours last night. She and I went to boarding school in CA together, but she's from Tulsa...and that's where she lives now. We were both retards and lost touch with one another, but I called her grandparents yesterday and got her number. I just love her, she rocks.

Moe, are we supposed to still be voting???

Our TV has had a "shadow" on it for like a month now. It's our big screen that it took us a year to pay for...and we've only had it 15 months!! Everything has double vision, but only in blue. So it's still watchable...but very annoying. We purchased it at Sears, but didn't buy the extended warranty. So we started calling repair people and all of them said it would be like 400 bucks because a "chip" needed to be replaced. I kept telling Vic to just call Sears and see what they would charge. He FINALLY did and discovered it has a TWO year warranty rather than one. Duh. We could have had this fixed weeks ago! But, alas, Mr. TV Repair Man is here now...saving the day. I can not wait to be able to watch the View without there being 8 hosts!! It starts in 10 minutes...maybe he'll be finished!!

At 11:30 I'm going to Chili's to sit and wait for Vic to get out of class at 11:50. My friend Teri works there and I'm going to go sit in her section and let her do her job...wait on me :)!

I also go back to the Dr. today. Seems I have a little more wrong than just the PCOS...It's a scary word, but I don't think it's very scary. I've got a "fundal fibroid" (aka tumor) on my uterus. Spent Sat. night in the ER, but I am so so so relieved to know why I'm still on the rag...It's the 125th day of it. Neat, huh? It's not the kind of too-ma that gets cancer (I mean, it's possible...but highly unlikely) so it ain't no thang but a chicken wang! I do think they are going to operate on it...but the most likely procedure is embolization, which basically means they cut off the blood flow to it...they do it just like an angogram, where they go in through the artery in the groin area. (FYI: Vic's had embolization done to his brain 3x!) And then I should be good as new. Well, except for the fact that I still will have to buy all new undies. Which I'm not complaining about...I love to buy under-vare!

Ok, I'm going to see what my hero, Mr. Repair Man, is accomplishing. It's almost time for me to enjoy the View.

So last night me, Mandy, Jason (her cousin), his finance, her friend in from L.A., CA, Landon, Jared, Hog, Toby, Tim Whitaker, "Sonja," and "Amy" went to some new dance club in Denton called Reign. We were a little outraged when they said 8 bucks to get in! But then they explained that "Le Freak" would be there. Who you ask? Go check them out:

http://lefreakband.com/home.html

There were all of 40 people there, including the 11 of us. I had nothing harder than a bottled water all night...the same could not be said for the rest of the crew. They passed out 1970's style gold porn star sun glasses. They were big enough for me to wear over my real glasses. I disco danced the night away! Several times it was just the 11 of us on the floor right by the stage. Mandy got on the stage and booty-bumped with the lead singer (Minne "Soda" Mick James). Landon fell down twice. Toby once. I laughed til I cried! I am so so so sore today from dancing for hours. I haven't danced that much in the last 2.5 years since I've lived in Dallas. If I would do that everyday, I'd be in killer shape!

Do I need to discuss the benefits of sun BLOCK? No, I don't...because you girls all know! You see these old leathery women that look 200? Well, that's what you will look like if you are not careful. I know you girls all feel the need to play golf (remember, I hate outside) but you need to wear: hats, sun BLOCK, and stay in the shade. And don't forget to slave up your ears, that is the most commom place for skin cancer.

That is all for today's message, lots of love, Casper....pasty-white & PROUD

P.S. if any of you would love to send Kim a cheery card snail mail, it would mean the world to her. I'm having a "card shower" for her...getting people that she knows, doesn't know, hasn't seen in years, etc to bombard her with mail while she is trapped in her wheel chair in the Ronald McDonald house in San Francisco! If you'd like to make her day, write me at ammthegr8@hotmail.com for her addy! Oh yeah, and I don't want her to know I did this...so shhhh, it's a secret!

When I know I have to get up early, I can't ever sleep well. Besides that and sleeping til noon yesterday and then taking a "nap" from 5:30-9...I've not gone to bed. I laid in there from 2 til 5 am; but all I did was flip flop and rub Nancy's tummy. At one point I was almost asleep, but then I heard a HUGE bang. I called Vic, but he said I was being paranoid. I was *almost* back asleep again, and then he called me back to see how I was. I then was calm enough to get up and investigate. Seems one of the felines knocked the ironing board over and the iron and all hit the wall. They have fun at night while the poos sleep. SO Now I'm about to get in the shower because we are going to the 8:00 am service at church. This will be our 4th Sunday in a row at Denton Bible church. Cool.

I too would like to add my excitement about the baby Greaud that has surprised us all. I mean, I suppose it was a surprise...we ALL know how babies are made...so it was an obvious chance. I just see so many good things happening because of this. Besides the fact that HE (I had a feeling even before the Chinese pish-posh said it was a boy!) is a blessing from God...Misti will change in so many ways...all for the better. She is scared of doctors and has always worried about her health, but because she is scared to seek answers...she just worries. No more! She will be pricked, prodded, and examined beyond her wildest dreams...and then she will have answers. Yes, it will be hard for her to get used to. She'll bitch and moan (Misti?! NEVER!) but in the end, she will fell EMONTIONALLY so much better. I also have worried about her feeling like she doesn't have enough to do, that too will never be the case again...at least not for a good 20 years of so. And the dogs, well, it will be hard to break it to Deltie, but they are going to have to realize that they are just that. Dogs. I know, I know. I love mine in an abnormal-too-extreme way too, but with the way Misti loves to be da Mom...it's just perfect...Waco won't be the only boy child anymore...they will all have a new HUMAN brother. And Misti will get to housetrain someone who she can teach to flush and not use the decorative towels. It seems all the big news Mr. Meme has had in the last few years has either been bad, or if it's good...it's been shadowed by the bad. But this, other than her being in shock and having a little fear of the unknown, will be good. It's a way to break the old patterns and move on by starting a new generation of "Matthews" to carry on the legacies of the past.

Anyway, keep in mind this is an up all night ramble...but I just think this is just what M&D (Misti & Danny OR Mom & Dad!) needed. And I couldn't be more excited to start buying BABY stuff!!!!

Darn funny. I say, darn funny!

"SMART POODLE"

A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her faithful pet poodle along for company.

One day, the poodle started chasing butterflies and before long the poodle discovered that he is lost. So, wandering about, he noticed a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The poodle thought, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard was about to leap, the poodle exclaimed loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here."

Hearing this, the leopard halted his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror came over him, and slinked away into the trees.

"Whew," thought the leopard. "That was close. That poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figured he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So, off he went. But the poodle saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon caught up with the leopard, spilled the beans and struck
a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard was furious at being made a fool of and said, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the poodle saw the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thought, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sat down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hadn't seen them yet. Just when they got close enough to hear the poodle, he said....

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

I got an email today that said "Marissa is now your friend!" Glad to know it's official.

We are going to eat and to a movie of my choice for my birthday eve. I think we are going to go to Red, Hot, & Blue (the best bbq joint!) because I never get to go there cause Vic hates bbq & to see Finding Nemo. There's not much else out right now that I want to see, and I'm actually pretty stoked to see the fishy movie.

Vic brought home a surprise lunch of chicken salad sandwiches & a carrot cake from Celebrity Cafe in Lewisville today. He got out of class and went all the way to L-town to get it for my almost birthday. Sweet boy.

I don't think I could possibly take care of 3 weenies and 1 waco. I have two poos and two kitties that make me insane. Well, only when the poos harass the kitties, but whatever, they are not as bad as the Greaud hounds. But I don't think they will be running of to Vegas again anytime soon...ya know:)))???

Nancy & Frank LOVE pig ears. They are completely gross, but since they occupy their time AWAY from the felines...I LOVE them too. Until today. I told them both to sit and gingerly stuck two fingers in the bag and pulled one out. Frank sat first, so he got the first one. I stuck the same two contaminated fingers back in the bag to get Nancy's (she was waiting impatiently) and pulled out another greasy ear only to see it still had it's TATTOO ID on it! BLAH BLAH BLAH! It's not as if I didn't *know* what it was...but when I saw his number, similar to our social security number, there on his little pink ear...I felt like the devil. Who in the hell thought up selling PIG EARS (and lamb lungs and cow hooves and the likes!)??? I remember why I was a vegetarian. Ahhh, the good ol' days.

I'm going to Abilene tomorrow for Avery's birthday. I went shopping for her today and ended up with tons of stuff. Including new lipstick, new sheets (for me & Vic), and Vic some clothes. All much needed & on sale. Well, except my 2 new lipsticks...they weren't on sale; but they are tried and true colors that I am almost out of. Chanel, ya know. Their lipstick is superior to all others. So smooth. Though it smells like a grandma. But that's probably just me...my Mema has worn it forever...so that's prolly why I think it's grandmaish...I'd never thought of that til I was typing this. Amazing.

I went to an interview for a PRN job and came out with a full time offer. Wierd how stuff like that works. Still not sure what I'm gona do with it. The offer, that is. Well, I guess it's not offically mine cause they still have to do background checks and whatnot...but since I'm sweet and innocent; there's no prob.

We didn't have electricity for hours last night. I was dying of heat and wanted to go to a hotel. Yes, I'm spoiled. About the time I was going with or without the hubby...everything came back on. I took a shower by candles/Vic pointing the flash light in so I could see what I was doing. Sounds almost romantic...but it SO wasn't.

We are going to lunch with Karen (Vic's old co-worker) tmw. She is awesome. She's a gazillion months prego with her 3rd kid. It should be fun.

Speaking of pregos, Kim and Bryan leave for San Francisco on Sunday to see what surgery baby Drew will get. So keep praying!

It was either another present or paying the 17 bucks (!) to mail it to you. I had it all loaded up and took it to pack and mail (yeah, it still would've been a day or so late...but still, I was gona mail it before the 7th) and because one of the things I got you is heavy; it was going to cost an arm and a leg to have some dude who was already going anyways to drive it there (UPS). So I decided to go back and buy something else and just wait until I see you, which shouldn't be too long. Besides...it's fun to get stuff late rather than all at once. Duh. But yeah, overall, I'm late. Getting places, getting things places, whatever. I run on a different schedule than most other people. Though that is not intentional. Vic and Mandy used to call me Molasses because that's the speed I function at. Better late than never, and since I don't like worms...I don't care about being an early bird.

Have I mentioned that my (well, Carson, Nancy, Frank, and Mandy's) Vet is so beautiful? Well, he is. I love going to see him. I drive 15-20 minutes to his office; it's in Lewisville.

This morning at 7ish Vic asked me if I'd go clean up Frank's crate because he has destroyed his pillow that his Aunt Meestee had made him, and he was leaving for work. SO I drug myself out of bed, got a trash bag, and began picking up the cotton fluff from ALL over the room. Once done, I told him to get back in and go to sleep. I was sitting on the floor at this time and he was looking at me weird. He was kind of shaking and ducking his tail between his legs. So I pulled him to me and he flipped over on his back. I thought he was just being cute, not wanting to go back to bed. Then I saw it. Giant knots in his stomach. It almost looked like he'd grown his balls back. I wigged out. I just knew he'd eaten so much of the pillow stuffing (and the metal rivits out of Nancy's collar yesterday....) that his intestins were twisted and stuck or sumthin'. So I called Vic, my Mom and the Vet. I hurried and showered and rushed him to Lewisville so he could be checked out.

When we got into the room, Mr. Pretty Vet came in, picked him up, flipped him over on the table and died laughing. Seems Mr. Frank was having an erection. How the hell was I supposed to know that boy dogs have the ability to "grab" on to the female dog during sex so they can't get away? I swear, it was the size of a golf ball on each side...he said that he was shaking and ducking his tail because he's a teenage boy that doesn't know what to do with all these feelings.

I wanted to crawl under a rock and die! I was so embarrassed. He was kind enough not to charge me though; he said "How could I charge you...you made my day!"

SO then I had to call my Mom and Vic and tell them...they both laughed. My Mom told my Dad, he laughed too. I wish that someone other than me had seen it; they would have thought he was seriously ill too. But just keep in mind those of you who have male dogs...even if they are de-balled...they still get woodies that look strangely similar to balls.

I had a break down last night.

I've been avoiding carbohydrates as much as possible because of this crapass "syndrome" I've got. It's seriously driving me crazy.

Vic went to the store because I had thawed out ground turkey to make a meatloaf (yummy, a loaf made of meat...*blick*...) and forgot we didn't have any eggs (because I boiled them all to make deviled eggs, breakfast, ya know). I decided since he was going, I'd make him a short list of things to get. This was my list:

eggs, milk, cantaloupe, frozen strawberries, fresca, diet coke, whole wheat noodles, dryers sugar free chocolate ice cream

He comes back with all this crap like ruffles, doritos, and COKE...just to name a few. I stood in the kitchen and stared at the coke. I swear, it called me to it. It was like that orange mountain dew commercial, where the guys are drawn to it like bugs to the bug zapper. So I ran to it, misty-eyed, ripped the box open, opened the (hot) can, and began to drink. Vic was saying "Amanda. Put. The. Can. Down." and all I could do was cry. He chased me to the living room and took the can. He, like the very sweet husband he is, went to the cabinet and got a glass, filled it with ice and poured it over it...and returned it to my pathetic, blubbering ass.

So I gulp the whole thing down in the like 2 minutes flat. It was the best thing I've ever had. Seriously. The bubbles tickled my nose and it was just the perfect temperature, and that sweet bite that I've known for my last 24 years was like a long lost friend.

And then I stopped. Vic was staring at me, telling me he would throw them away...he didn't know it was a "big deal" to bring home the real, true coke along with the crapass diet coke that I requested.

That's when it occurred to me. This is not a venture that will come to an end. It's not a sprint to the finish line, because there is no finish line. Get well, get back to life…nope. This is my new life. And last night I put all of my frustrations with this infertility, crazy hormones, 3 month (AND FUCKING COUNTING!) period, insulin levels through the roof, etc into one shiny red can with roller coaster on it. What I would not give to be a kid and want to take it to 6 Flags and redeem my discount!

On top of that, these tasty Sorbitol/Mannitol/Xylitol (sugar alcohol's) they put into things such as my dryers ice cream, cause gas. They are still tasty and not like a chemical, but the molecules are so big that the body can't absorb them...so they are used in lots of "sugar-free" products...I sound/smell like I've been living on 3-day old Allsup's burrito's for the past year!

Oh yeah, FYI, and if you (I) take somethin’ for the gas, it will break down the molecules of the 'ol sugar substitutes and cause Mr. Pancreas to make more insulin...thus defeating the purpose, so one must deal with sounding/smelling like a pack mule.

My husband really must love me. Snort.

Everyone keep Kim, Bryan, & Avery in their prayers. Kim's bloodwork came back off so they did a test today to see if the new baby has spina bifida. He does. He's due in Nov. They go back next week to work out a road map of what's next. Here's some pics of all 4 of um:

http://threebells0.tripod.com/

I'm finally home. I was only gone a week, but it felt like a month! We got here last night, and not a moment too soon! I went to bed early and slept late. That's what home is all about. It's weird being here w/out the poos. The kitties, however, think it's great. Mandy is RUNNING everywhere!

I do believe that is called "karma" to those who really believe in those types of things. My sweet baby Frank loved to "love" everything, no one thought it funnier than dear ol' cousin Meestee. He has since stopped that, though I believe that is probably why he is a runt (7 months & 34 lbs...should be 55ish). Seems that is a side effect of ball choppin' early. Now he only humps occassionally, like when Nancy tries to take a nap, then it's time to go to town on her head. Better her than me (or Vic, or kitty, or the couch, or the air...etc) so I'll take his midget-ness in exchange.

I'm still in Hobbs. I worked at William's all night party thing and felt like I'd been hit by a train the next day. William looked at me at about 3 am NM time (while he was playing at my roulette table) and said "Can't hang with the young ones anymore, can ya Manda?" And the sad truth is, he is right. I'm so not cut out for the all-night party lifestyle anymore. Even without alcohol, I was hung over the next day!

We are off to San Antonio tomorrow. I'm ready to go home and see my poodles and kitties. I knew that I would miss them, I always do.

Maybe we should just move to Hobbs....something to ponder....

We have all the windows covered! Yeah! Well, except the bedroom, those aren't in yet. The dude just came and installed them in the study, entryway, and upstairs! Yeah for covered windows! Yeah for the neighbors not seeing me free-boobin anymore!

I'm here at the house with just two sweet kitties. Vic's at work. And the poodles are already in jail for our up coming trip. We leave tomorrow for Hobbs. Will graduates on Monday & Vic and I are working in the casino at the all-night party. Hellz-yeah. As close to Vegas as we can afford! And then on Thursday we are headed to San Antonio to watch Nathan (Vic's best friend) graduate on Sunday from med school. High school, med school...it's all the same :).

I'm going to miss the poodles. We are coming back next Sunday, but I can't get them until Tuesday because of damned ol' Memorial Day. It's not nearly as neat to me now that I don't use it as a good excuse to get sloppy before dark...Vic has to work the whole day (7a-7p), so I'll spend it w/ the two sweet kitties again.

Off to do laundry. And to run around neck-id, cause I can.

Here is the article from hobbsnews.com:

Strong finish for Matthews

ALAMOGORDO -- After opening the first five holes of his second round at 6-over-par, William Matthews made a decision.

"I told myself there was no way I was going to end my high school career like this," Matthews said, after going 2-under the rest of the day and finishing the 5A State Golf Championships in a tie for 10th individually with a final-round 76.

The La Cueva Bears (582) wrapped-up their fourth-straight team state championship with an even-par, 292, and Zach Fullerton shot a 1-under, 70 to claim individual medalist honors. Las Cruces (608) and Clovis (613) were second and third respectively as a team.

Hobbs (334) finished in eighth place with an overall 658.

"This was a tough field," said Hobbs coach Clay Faulkenberry. "The guys kind of had a rough day, but I'm really pleased with the way we finished."

Matthews had two birdies on the back nine, and shot 34 to finish with 76.

"I made pars on six and seven, then it just all came together," Matthews said. "I hit a lot of greens on the back, which was the difference. The bottom line is, I hit shots after the fifth -- I guess I woke up."

Jordan Boerio, Stephen Kuitu and William Jourdan each shot 86 in the second round, and Josh Latimer carded an 89.

After a lackluster day as far as the team was concerned, Faulkenberry said he was happy to see Matthews' turnaround.

"Like I said (Monday), Will's a gutsy kid," Faulkenberry said. "He got it into his head that he wasn't going to end his career like that, and he didn't. That's William Matthews -- when he has to turn it up, he can and he does.

"He showed a lot of pride and a lot of guts -- you can't ask for a better example for a senior at the state tournament. You salute the effort, you admire the pride and you wish you had him for five more years."

Big Willy Style tied for 10th in the State, he did, he did! (In 5-A) Tomorrow you can check out the sports page at:

www.hobbsnews.com

for all your reading pleasure.

HE SHOT 76! Yeah! He doesn't know how he places, because they left before everyone was finished...but still...YEAH! The divot fixer crossin' worked! :)

Just talked to Bob and William shot 77 the first day of the state tournament and is in the top 10 on individuals. We got cut off before I could ask about the whole team, but really, who cares about them? Tomorrow they play again, so cross your divot fixers that he does well!

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the 3 most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.'"

-Chris Rock

I went swimming tonight. Vic went too. I swam 42 laps, or 1050 meters. It was fun. I love the feeling of being in the water...so powerful, but small. It's the closest I will ever be to being in space, I think. I am going to start going regularly. I've had a rather yucky health issue pop up this week (http://www.inciid.org/faq/pcos1.html#1.2) and it's kind of scary to realize I'm getting "old". Well, you know, older...but still. I'm not the beer chuggin, chain smoking, only need 3 hrs a sleep girl I used to be! Anyway, I don't know how exercise will help my ovaries and all...but they say so, so I'll giver a try!

Mandy is adjusting well. Nancy has a hamburger nose (thanks to Mandy's claws) but doesn't seem to be bright enough to leave her alone! Other than that, she is the sweetest cat ever! She comes when called and is very lovey-dovey. Unless the dogs are around, and then she is like the Tazmanian Devil. She will also eat anything and everything...last night I was looking at Vic and she jumped up and stole my WHOLE dinner roll...and tonight Vic gave her a mushroom and she scarfed it down.

It's weird that my dad/Misti's mom are related...because my story (if written out) would sound almost just the same as Misti's. Except for that whole college thing, my parents ain't prafesshionally edumacated. Just worldly :). But mine are just as in love today as 27 years ago and NO ONE thought they would last...they knew each other like 6 weeks and then eloped...and my dad's family didn't like my mom (still don't, ha ha). Hope it ran in the family and we got it too!

Go Here:

http://www.angelfire.com/de2/dentonhumanesociety/rescuecats.html#mandy

To see my new kitty! She's coming home tomorrow. It will be like "Mandy" never left! Can't decide if we're going to change her name or not. She is TINY, like prolly 5 or 6 lbs. She is SO sweet. She never once tried to bite me! Carson is so excited to have a real live girlfriend!

I painted Nancy's toes today. They are hotpink glitter. Is that Fancy or what?! She laid on her back and I painted them and she just chilled for 30 minutes while I blew on her toes and rubbed her tummy. I am going to go to Wal Mart tomorrow to look for her some bows.

Can I help you pick the pants? Um...let's see. Maybe...um, no...OHHHH, wear overalls! Those are good gettin-glad-pants.

Anyway, when you suck it up...you know where I am :).

If you are prone to getting your panties in a wad, I would suggest wearing a thong. What that means? Not sure...but think about it. Thongs can't get in a wad, therefore if you wear one and you tend to get wads...you will theoretically be wad free. Same with like...say you are sensitive, and easily offended...don't post extra personal things on extra public websites.

That being said, I wasn't being bitchy...or making a joke...I just read a whole lota sap in a place that I'm not used to sap. I read the on goings of MM&A (WHEN she updates...but that's another story!) when I need a chuckle or to feel closer to home. And there was no possible way for me to know that you were going to "completely resent" a comment on your YMMB thing...seeing has how I've known about that since we lived together in Lubbock...

Anyway. What's that saying about the pants...and the same ones to get mad and glad in???

This is funny and I must post it here. K, thanks.

If Dogs Sent Letters to God...

Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
* I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
* I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
* I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
* The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
* The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
* The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
* My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
* I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for ! Mom's driver's license and registration.
* I will not play tug -of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
* Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'
* I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
* I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
* I will not throw up in the car.
* I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
* I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
* The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

YMMV.

Yall Make Me Vomit.

Not Misti & Danny; but Misti & Moe.

I know that spring time brings sap, it's all over my car. But JEEZ you guys. I need something a little lighter today, thanks.

We went to church this morning. It was cool. Well, not literally...it was actually VERY hot in there...but I am so glad we went. We went to Lake Shore Baptist in Lake Dallas. The service was about giving and they had some little girls get up in front and sign a song, I liked that a lot. Not that I understood it; but I like sign language. I think we are going to try a few more before we decide on one. Moe, do you know anything about Denton Bible?

BTW, I didn't realize that taking the Lord's name in vain was one of the 10 Commandments. We learn something new all the time!

I LOVED what Andy Rooney said tonight on 60 minutes. It was about how all stuff has to have something in it. He meant to grab a coke and got one w/ vanilla and he HATED it. I SO agree! There is not need for stuff to have weird flavors in it. Oatmeal does not need apple cinamon; coffee doesn't need hazelnut; peanuts don't need honey; and potatoe chips don't need bbq flavoring! If you want your oatmeal or coffee or whatever to have some extra flavor...you can put it in!

William is addressing HS graduation announcements tonight. He is the last of the grandkids on both sides to graduate...except on my Mom's side there is a cousin that is also graduating this year...but still...it makes me feel old. I had to type my list of who I sent wedding announcements too for him. Glad I'm not there or I'd end up doing it all.

Misti said:
http://mistileighg.blogspot.com/

Not only were we without running water and toilet paper, the CABLE was also cut in the process of the water softener being installed.

So here I am, sick, on the rag (for 6 weeks now, thanks), w/out bathrooms AND TV. But did I mention that the day that I skipped the shower, the one before that day that I was unable to shower, I had gone to some wild house party for like 8 hours? Yeah, if you smelled something stanky on Monday...it was me. Sorry.

I went back to the Dr. today because I STILL have a sinus infection despite the fact that I finished my antibiotic last Sat. He tested me for rheumatic fever, that's what he thought I had. But I don't have it. Just some "abscess" in my throat...but he gave me a stronger antibiotic and said that if they don't clear up they will have to drain them. Real neat.

So then, we are leaving the Dr.'s office and we get in a wreck. We exited off of I35 and were going under the overpass to flip around right by Denton Reg. Med. Center (where Vic used to work) and we were turning left. We were out in the street waiting for all the cars to go straight, the light turned yellow...so Vic went. This little P.O.S. caviler that looked just like Misti's old one, red and all, gunned it to run the yellow light and plowed into my door. I saw the bastard coming and was saying over and over really fast "VIC! HE'S NOT GONNA STOP!" I thought I was fine, but now I'm not so sure. My rt. leg is numb, kinda tingly. Everyone else was fine. Vic didn't get any tickets. Seems the other car, which had 4 non-english speakers in it, did NOT have insurance. Their car was totaled. They did get tickets. I kinda felt sorry for them. It was 4 middle aged men that were obviously just getting off work. Not that anyone can ever really spare a thousand bucks or so...but I know these guys really couldn't...and it's a $1000 fine in TX for no car insurance alone! Anyway, it was a long day. It's been a long week. I'm glad it's almost over.

Hi. I'm at Misti's and so is Moe. SO we have been communicating in real life. Fun fun! Moe has SO much to tell you all, she went on a date.

Misti's house is HOT, I'm sweatin' balls.

In very happy news, my brother (who's a sr. in HS) qualified individually for the state golf tournament today. The whole Hobbs High team did too! He shot 72 and he only needed to shoot 78! He even won the tournament. Hip Hip Hooray! Yeah for William!

http://www.voteforbabs.com/pages/1/index.htm

I, Amanda the Great, am a card carrying member of the Corinth Women's Civic League. I went to a meeting tonight, only the 3rd one EVER and joined. I payed my 25 bones and became a member on "active" status. It's all about volunteering; giving back to the community, ya know. It was at the Oakmont Country Club...we had finger sandwiches w/out crust & fruit. I carried my purse like Ma on the Golden Girls and smiled sweetly. I wore a name tag. Even sat with the mayor, don't think her name's not "Babs," cause it is.

You can go here and check her out if ya don't believe me: http://www.cityofcorinth.com

I even took my nose ring out for the event. I can't open their minds without lettin' um warm up to me first! ;>

I got all the way to school and Misti made me turn around and go home. We are 300 miles apart and she is still a bad influence! Shame on her!

I'm not going tomorrow either. We came up with a good excuse. That's was cousins are for!

I'm free! I'm free! Thank God Almighty, I'm FREE at last!

This is the last weekend of weekend school. Then it's all over. IF I don't die before it ends. I HATE it so so so bad. I have 2 papers due in the class and I haven't even started either one. Please pray that I don't die :l

OH MY GOSH. I have been without cable since yesterday at noonish. That meant not only no TV, but NO INTERNET either! They are building a house next door and seems they ran over our cable w/ a tractor or some shit. So all day long I've been doing "wifely" things...laundry, dishes, "mended" some clothes, etc. I was going frickin crazy. I just knew some new thing happened in Iraq and I was the only person in America that didn't know it and I just knew that all you girls had updated your blogs and I was missing some neat stuff with yall...but, alas, I'm back and neither is true. Unless they really did kill Sodom last night, because it's fo' sho' that no one blogged....

It's that dastardly weekend school again. I can't believe a whole month plus some has already passed. I thought that it would be less painful this go round, but I was wrong. The pain in still fresh in my memory. I sat through tonight with relative ease; we watched a video. But tomorrow, it's back to the treatment center for a day of "sculptures" and "family reconstructions". I loath it all; I used to think that I was a sorta hocky-type person, but I was wrong. I like there to be some sort of scientific reasoning behind the theory and Virginia Satir did not like science. Therefore I am tortured the entire class thinking over and over "This is such a crock!" "Bullshit!" "Whatever!" "Um...riiight..." There are so many ways to think to one's self "you and your way of thinking are idiotic." But, I would like an A in the class, and it will all be over next Saturday. 3 more graduate hours down, only 999,997 left. Not really, it just seems like it. I'm going to read about Bathsheba.

Happy 28th Birthday VIC!!!

He got a new backpack from yours truly, and a card from Carson & the Poodles. I spent all of his birthday present money on fun stuff for the house last weekend. Sad, sad. I was going to make him dinner, but I don't feel like going to the store. Even sadder. Guess we'll go out! :)

This war really seems to be another reality series, only it really is reality. Why do they feel the need to show the same stuff over and over? I don't want to see it and I don't think most others do either. I understand that the people of Iraq are forced to see it live and in color, so there is part of me that thinks that we should also see it. But not like it's being broadcast. I don't want to see the nifty "baseball cards" depicting what weapons are used and their stats. I also don't want to see protesters or support rallies. I think that the news channels should show us the news but only what's relevant, but I also think that someone needs to educate our country. I overheard someone talking at lunch about the war going on in Iran and how she didn't agree with it because we didn't give Saddam enough time to "explain". Um. Ok, besides the obvious, pathetic problem what on earth does he need to explain? "I didn't mean to kill all those innocent people, and I didn't mean to break all the UN laws...it was an accident...see, one night I drank beer before liquor and boy, was I sicker...and that's when I did it...yeah..."

If I were in charge, I would have just sent in my secret special forces and taken out Sodom and his evil sons and that would be the end of it. Ok, well, there would be a few more that have to go...but you know, when you get rid of the apple core and it's seeds, the rest is tasty!

Oh yeah, and I want some news other than the war stuff. I want to know what’s going on with Elizabeth Smart! I want to know what’s being done to keep me from getting SARS! I want to know more about this Cuban hijackin’ stuff…my Dad is fixin to go to Cuba! And what’s the latest on Michael Jackson, is he still butt-hurt?

Yeah, I’m about to have a masters degree and I don’t search for myself…so what? I’m off to battle the laundry monster!

I spent too much money this weekend. I couldn't help it. Misti made me do it.

I just got home from the biz-ar. Me and V went to Mandy's folks for dinner and then out w/ the bians. It was so fun! I drank 4 beer and an orange julieus (sp) shot that was SO SO SO tasty!!! I sat next to Teri, so it was extra amusing.

Tomorrow night Mandy and Teri are playing in a soft ball game that is right by the his-ouse so WE are going to go check it out. Also, on Friday, WE have to go eat at Chili's (blah) for lunch because Teri is a server (notice how PC I am :)) and she said she'd hook us up. We are going to go about 1:30ish cuz she gots off at 2 and she is going to follow us to the house and we are going to smiz-oke and hang out. She want's to meet Ivan the Terrible.

Ok, must sleep. Actually, I've not had a cup o' noodles in some time now. I shall...

I went to the Texas Back Institute and have "severe to be this young" Lumbar Degenerative Disk Disease. What I gathered from that is the area below the L5 disk is shrinking into the S1, thus putting pressure on my sciatic nerve.

They are expecting that physical therapy 3x a week to strengthen the muscles in my lower back and an NSAID will do the trick. I'm also going to try to force myself back into swimming because that helps everything.

I was THRILLED that no one mentioned my weight at all, and actually commented that I was in great shape based on blood pressure and flexibility...though I'm sure that's relative to the patients they normally see who are in much worse shape than myself!

In other, much more fun news...I traded my car in today for a VW Beetle! After driving it (ok, just sitting it did it!) I fell in love with it. They aren't too wide, but because the steering wheel telescopes in and out not just up and down...there are a good 6-8 inches between me and the steering wheel AND my legs don't have to stretch all the way out to reach the petal!!! There is also probably a foot of seatbelt length left after I get it buckled!! Very very comfy overall.

It's black; I have a thing for black automobiles. But I can't decide between black or cream inside. They have the cream inside in stock, and a black inside on the truck in Houston that will be here at the end of the week. In all honesty, I like the cream better...but I'm worried about being able to keep it clean. The only thing I don't like is you can NOT get them with a CD player. Some crap about nostalgia. But I listen to the radio mostly and I *am* a child of the 80's who still happens to be rather fond of tapes. But for any of you who have tapes and don't listen to them, please email me at:

ammthegr8@hotmail.com

to get my address so that you may make a donation. :). Besides, who can resist a car that comes standard with a flower vase on the dash board?!

Just for fun, I'm now going to name all auto's that I've had since getting my driver's permit at age 14 in Jan of 1993.

1991 Red Jeep Grand Cherokee aprox Jan-March 93
1993 Red Camero Z28 March 18, 1993 until March 18, 1994
1990 Baby blue w/ wood paneling station wagon Mar 19-June 1, 1994
1994 Red Pontiac Grand Prix June 1-end Aug 1994
(same thunder wagon anytime home from boarding school Aug 94-May 95)
1994 Red & Black Z71 truck May-Aug 95
1994 White Buick Roadmaster Aug 95-April 96
1996 Maroon Chevy Blazer April 96-Spring 99
1999 Black Tahoe Sport Spring 99-Jan 2001
2001 Black Pontiac Bonneville SSEi Jan 01-today
2003 Black VW Beetle GLX Turbo today-?

10 cars in 10 years it seems. I love cars. I even loved my grocery-go-getter and my tylenol (roadmaster…shaped like a giant gel cap…you know). I’m also spoiled and admit it. That’s fine as long as I’m not bratty.

Ok, I’m off. Peace in the Middle East.

I'm so glad that this war has everyone out of their shells and blogging!

LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!:

http://threebells0.tripod.com/

That's how they told the family the news! How clever Kim is!

I had a rather feisty day today.

I wore an outfit today that Vic said he couldn't hear me speaking over because it was so LOUD. We have been thinking of trading in my Bonneville for a Beetle. As I'm standing there in my loud but very cute outfit, the young, good-looking VW salesman asked me why I'm interested in this car. I smiled broadly and explained to him that "Like me, this car is short and fat and that in most cars I don't have much room between me and the steering wheel; but in this one I do...and I have TONS of slack in the seatbelt." Batted my eyes and then said "It's fat friendly, and I'm fat...it's cute, and I'm cute." I added that part for the two skinny chicks that were listening from the info desk. They began staring as soon as we walked in (could have been that my outfit is see-through, didn't care) but were obviously shocked that I used fat and cute in the same sentence to describe something other than a bunny or a baby.

Talk about shock and awe! Sorry, bad joke, anyway...moving on...

WARNING: SLIGHT RANT.

If everyone looked the same, people-watching would be pointless, and I LOVE variety! Just like when I go get a bagel and they only have sesame seed ones left and I'm disappointed at the lack of variety. Why am I the only one who gets it? What on earth possesses the whole world to think that being thin, blonde, and tan is the #1 way to be looked at favorably? Not at all saying those things are bad, but I want something fat, bald, and pastey to go with it and everything else.

And you know what else??? My own personal comfort is the most important thing these days. I'm not going to just "grin and bear it" when someone tried to stick me in the corner booth or make me go threw the turnstile to get into Seaworld or wear shoes because they are in style but hurt like hell to actually stand up in. I haven't for sometime now when I was w/ the fat parents, Vic, or someone else I know won't care when I make a stink...but I think those days are over. If I see a way that I can be most comfy, I'm going to do my damnest to get it. Unless of course I'm in the mood to wear torturous shoes or be in the booth in the corner, then (like the other night when me and Bernadette wanted to talk privately at Cattle Baron!) I will grin and bear it. But I will no longer feel that I have to for anyone other than me.

OH! And trying to browse in the antique store today?! I was a nervous wreck that my ass was going to knock some table that was missing 1/2 a leg over and break some gnarly nick-knack that should have been thrown in the damn trash back when Texas only had 5 flags over it! That's not my fault, it's theirs. Stop being greedy and pack-ratish and go through with a couple of BOXES of lawn and leaf bags...then there will be some room to walk and I bet some of that horrible stench will fade too. SO, I left without buying 2 stained glass windows that I had intended to purchase just because I was annoyed.

END RANT.

I can remember being in Hawaii several years ago and seeing this beautiful woman walking along the beach. She was probably 6 feet and 400+ lbs. She had wavy black hair down to her knees and was wearing a sarong-type skirt that was just tied around her waist and a top that showed her stomach and a bright yellow flower behind her ear. Her (assuming) husband was holding her hand as they walked but when they paused to stare at the luau; he stood behind her and put both his hands on her wide, shelf-like hips. I couldn't take my eyes off of her/them...she was SO beautiful...she seemed to have this positive energy that effortlessly demanded attention and respect.

I love to remember her. She has NO idea how often I think of her.

I'm still in Hobbs. We are going home tomorrow. I miss my kitty and my poos. Well, one poo. Not really, this whole war thing makes me miss ALL my babies.

I can remember the terrible anxiety I felt in Jan of 7th grade waiting for the war to start. At that point in time, I don't remember having any fear of my own "homeland." But thanks to the events about 18 months ago, there is a large part of me that is "what if-ing" uncontrollably. I keep having these horrible images of someone bombing Dallas and what my poor fur babies would do...kitty is trapped alone in the house and the poos are locked up at the vet. Now, the logical part of me knows that even if there were to be some attack on the US, Dallas wouldn't be the first choice and it wouldn't be before tomorrow night when I can get home and get the poos home where they belong. But still. I don't blame the potheads of the 1960's who just toked all their cares away. War is scary. War is stressful. But, sadly, war is necessary.

I wish all of you are peaceful place to go, even if it's just in your mind.

3 posts in one day! Making up for all those other times when I didn't blog!

Anyway, I found this and dig it the most. Afua Cooper is from Jamaica, mon!

"To Khetiwe" by Afua Cooper.

So sista
you ask me
what can a woman who likes being big
a woman who enjoys her size
do when other sistas make unfavourable comments about
it and coyly suggest weight-loss clinic
"it's not easy being a fat Black woman," you say

I can make a few suggestions
potential replies to throw back at these mahgah women
first tell them that you are into yourself
and because you are into yourself
you're not a slave to fashion
not a slave of babylon
then tell them that thin might be in
but fat is no sin
next, ask if they know of their ancient traditions
that in southeastern Nigeria
the rich and not so rich used to send their daughters
to Old Calabar to make them beautiful
beautiful in this case meant
fat
plump
above size 12

I forgot to mention that I made the damn appt. I go see the P.A. at the Texas Back Institute on the 25th at 1:30 so she can order an MRI or whatever before I see the actual Dr. They only see new patients on Tue afternoons, and they can't see me next week. Which is pretty much fine cause I'll be in little H-town.

But another thing that is going to mess it all up is Vic took a new job today. It's at Children's Med Ctr of Dallas. He'll start the 31st with a pay raise of 9 bucks an hour compared to where he's at now. It's from 3-11 M-F, but for the first month he'll be 8-5...it's also a good 30 minutes away. So for now we are going to have a seminormal life! I can't wait for us to start going to church!!! YEAH! But we will have to change insurances. No yeah. SO, I'm a little anxious that while the TX Back Institute takes my current insurance; what if they won't take my new one and I go and have an MRI all for nothing just to have to start all over and find a new place to go?!?!

Maybe I should cancel the appt and wait till we have our new insurance....

OH MY GOSH!!! Am I the only one who is TOTALLY amazed that they found that little Smart girl?! I had written her off long ago. What I really want to know is why in the heck did a 15 year old girl not make some kind of escape attempt in 9 months? I mean, maybe she did...but still, they are saying she appears to be in good shape! And wasn't she just walking down the street? I would have risked a bullet in the back for a chance at my freedom! There has got to be more to this story!

House guests cause stress in the most unusual ways.

I'm off to the big H (Houston) and then on Monday to the little H (Hobbs). I'll try to check in periodically. In the mean time, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

My parents got here Saturday and Bob left on Sunday. They were not supposed to be here until Monday and I didn't find out until late Friday night they were coming. I have to frantically put the house together. Mom is still here. We are going to Big As Texas (aka the fat convention) on Thursday.

We are going assuming I can walk. Seems that my back has taken a turn for the worse and I look like a complete gimp. It's only been hurting for the past year or so. I know that it had been hurting for a while when we moved into this house and that will be a year next month. I think it is my siatic (sp?) nerve because the pain totally radiates down my leg. But what makes it even stupider is sometimes it's the left side, sometimes it's the right. That is exactly why I've put off going to the Dr. There is nothing they can do for me. And they will tell me it's because I'm fat. I know they will, and it's not. How do I know it's not? Well besides the fact that thin people have back problems too, it's because some days I don't hurt at all and I'm still the same fat.

So you want one of my main theories as to why fat people do indeed often times die younger? Because they aren't given/or don't seek proper medical care. I go to the Dr. with a sinus infection and it's because I'm fat. I go with in-grown toenails and it's because I'm fat. Both true stories that have happened to me! So even though I'm WAY smart enough to know that is not the case, it still makes me have this terrible anxiety about actually seeing Dr's because they are conditioned to tell people that all their problems would be solved if they weren't fat. Therefore, I have put off seeing a Dr. because I know (or as Vic says, "I think I know") what they are going to say. AND I'm pretty good about Dr's, I don't put up with their bullshit. But there are people (like my mother!) who hasn't seen a Dr, including a neat little yearly smear, in years...in Kay's case, it's 7 years. The last time she went he was so mean to her that she hasn't been back. And it's only hurting her. So, heaven forbid, she has the beginnings of cancer or something...we will never know it until she collapses. If she had been a thin/thinner person, she wouldn't have missed all these years.

So just to continue the point, my friend C.J. has breast cancer. They won't treat her because she weighs more then the table is alloted for. So while she is fighting with the hospital in Lubbock, she is slowly getting worse. So if she dies, it's because she's fat? Um, no. It's because she can't get adequate medical attention.

The whole thing makes my head want to explode. But it won't. I'll make the damn appt and I'll go, and I'll fight tooth and nail with them to be treated with the same respect as I would if I were what size society wants me to be. Bastards.