Picture this...late Friday night, pretty much the only car on the highway as I roll through White Deer, TX on my way to get Vic at the airport. I've been pulled over there before for speeding (got a warning), so I am cautious now. All of a sudden I start sneezing out of control, like 10 times in a row. Right then, cop lights appear in my rearview. I think "this bastard thinks I'm drunk, but really I'm just swerving because I'm allergic to pigs." I pull over. He sashays up to my window and says "Evenin' ma'am, where ya headed?" Me: "The airport to get my husband." Pig: "Is this your vehicle?" Me: "It is." Pig: "The reason I pulled you over is because your light on your licenses plate is out." Me: "Right. How was I supposed to know?" Pig: "That's why I'm just going to issue you a warning, I just need license and insurance." SO I hand him my license and search for my insurance. I hand it to him. It expired like the day before. Me: "I have insurance, I just haven't printed the new one." Pig: "I can look it up." Now Pig goes back to his car and a few minutes later returns with my warningS for the light and no insurance. He tells me that I don't have insurance. I start to argue, but then give up and leave.

I'm going about 60-65 on the edge of town, not even enough yet to set my cruise. Here comes the Easter Bunny. He throws himself at my car. I feel him bump under my car several times. At this moment I'm leaving William a message on his voicemail and I squeal "OH! I just killed a bunny!" And give a play by play. Sadness. I keep rolling, set my cruise on about 67-68.

Few more miles down the road, I'm still thinking about how the night couldn't be anymore torturous...and there in my rearview are frickin' COP LIGHTS! I'm being pulled over a second time! So Pig Dos sashays up to my car and says "Evenin' ma'am, are you in a hurry?" Me: "Well, yeah, I'm late to pick up my husband because your buddy just pulled me over for no license plate light about 15 minutes ago." Pig Dos: "The reason I pulled you over is because you are exceeding the speed limit." Me: "Oh yeah? How fast was I going?" Pig Dos: "I can't tell you or I'd have to give you a ticket." Me: (laughing) "Riiight. And I don't want that." (I mean is that "can't tell ya or hafta kill ya????" PG: "If I can just see your license." He takes my license and comes back with my warningS for speeding and for the frickin' light! (Like I could have gotten it fixed between the first and second warning!)

So I got 4 warnings from 2 Pigs in 24 mile markers AND killed the Easter Bunny.

Saturday's gotta be better. Vic and I head to Dalhart to visit (Dr. & Vic's best friend) Nathan's new baby Gracie Anne and for Nathan to try to figure out why I've had 3 antibiotic rounds & 2 steroid shots in 5 months AND for the last month used a steroid nose spray, allergy pills, and a nasal wash daily. ALL the while, continuing to have pastel shades of slim oozing from my face. He starts by shoving a 5 or so inch piece of cotton w/ deading stuff on it in my nose with tweezers. Lets that set there for a few, removes it and puts a tube in there w/ a camera on the end. Looks all around, shows Vic all this "disgusting crap" and says that I need a ct scan. He takes me to radiology and lets Ramaldo shoot my nog. Get the pics and says "Whoa, dude, you are freakishly deformed!" Seems the sinus cavities in your cheeks should be a big oven space, but mine are divided almost completely with a big piece of bone (looks like beaver's built a dam in there) AND the drainer holes out are in the wrong place--way too high, so it has to go against gravity to escape. That paired with a few large polyps, and it seems I need to have sinus surgery. SO, he's referring me to UT Southwestern in Dallas and I'm going to try to get my face fixed this summer. Neat. He prescribed me some good ol' Augmentin XR at 1000 mg 2x daily. They are the biggest horse pills! I have to take 2 at a time and thought you needed a visual:



Needless to say, Saturday was no better. Sunday I was lazy. This morning Vic's alarm went off at 2:30 so he could make his 5 a.m. flight outta Amarillo. SO, it's a little after 6 and I'm about to have a fancy dinner of cheese bagel bits and some carrots and go to bed!