So Mandy had a date tonight. With a cop named "Woody" from Flower Mound. She had fun. UNTIL she came home to find a nasty ass cottonmouth/water moccasin coiled up on the "Welcome" mat on MY porch. She stepped on the mat, freaked, and slowly backed up. She tapped on the window which made my guard poodle go insane. Vic opened the door and slammed it. He didn't want the poodle go get out. I hurried and grabbed her collar, and he crept out. The snake had then moved to the front of the porch.

Back up. Last week we went to Lowe's Hardware for 2 damn hours. During that time he insisted among other things, that we purchase a "flat hoe" because "what if we have a snake?"

Ok, so he sneaks past the snake to his truck where the hoe is still laying. He comes back to the porch and strikes and holds the flat hoe on the slithery's neck. Mandy got the flash light so we could all see better. Nancy was having a fit. The snake was flippin and floppin, it even coiled its body around the flat hoe handle! Finally, he sawed it's head off. Body still movin around. It was SO gross.

I'm forever scarred. I will never walk out of this house again and not be looking for pit vipers. My dad and I saw a copperhead right after I first moved in, and now this!

And did I tell yall that Vic had already chased a little racer snake out of the garage???

I'm moving to Antarctica. No snakes, no bugs. I'll get used to there being no people...