One of my kids was reading out loud today and the word was Philippines and he said "Feel-a-penis" and had no clue. I tried not to chuckle, but it was difficult once I had the thought "What is he was the announcer for the Miss Universe pageant?"

"...and next up we have Ms. Feel-a-Penis to play us a tune on the flute..."

Picture this...late Friday night, pretty much the only car on the highway as I roll through White Deer, TX on my way to get Vic at the airport. I've been pulled over there before for speeding (got a warning), so I am cautious now. All of a sudden I start sneezing out of control, like 10 times in a row. Right then, cop lights appear in my rearview. I think "this bastard thinks I'm drunk, but really I'm just swerving because I'm allergic to pigs." I pull over. He sashays up to my window and says "Evenin' ma'am, where ya headed?" Me: "The airport to get my husband." Pig: "Is this your vehicle?" Me: "It is." Pig: "The reason I pulled you over is because your light on your licenses plate is out." Me: "Right. How was I supposed to know?" Pig: "That's why I'm just going to issue you a warning, I just need license and insurance." SO I hand him my license and search for my insurance. I hand it to him. It expired like the day before. Me: "I have insurance, I just haven't printed the new one." Pig: "I can look it up." Now Pig goes back to his car and a few minutes later returns with my warningS for the light and no insurance. He tells me that I don't have insurance. I start to argue, but then give up and leave.

I'm going about 60-65 on the edge of town, not even enough yet to set my cruise. Here comes the Easter Bunny. He throws himself at my car. I feel him bump under my car several times. At this moment I'm leaving William a message on his voicemail and I squeal "OH! I just killed a bunny!" And give a play by play. Sadness. I keep rolling, set my cruise on about 67-68.

Few more miles down the road, I'm still thinking about how the night couldn't be anymore torturous...and there in my rearview are frickin' COP LIGHTS! I'm being pulled over a second time! So Pig Dos sashays up to my car and says "Evenin' ma'am, are you in a hurry?" Me: "Well, yeah, I'm late to pick up my husband because your buddy just pulled me over for no license plate light about 15 minutes ago." Pig Dos: "The reason I pulled you over is because you are exceeding the speed limit." Me: "Oh yeah? How fast was I going?" Pig Dos: "I can't tell you or I'd have to give you a ticket." Me: (laughing) "Riiight. And I don't want that." (I mean is that "can't tell ya or hafta kill ya????" PG: "If I can just see your license." He takes my license and comes back with my warningS for speeding and for the frickin' light! (Like I could have gotten it fixed between the first and second warning!)

So I got 4 warnings from 2 Pigs in 24 mile markers AND killed the Easter Bunny.

Saturday's gotta be better. Vic and I head to Dalhart to visit (Dr. & Vic's best friend) Nathan's new baby Gracie Anne and for Nathan to try to figure out why I've had 3 antibiotic rounds & 2 steroid shots in 5 months AND for the last month used a steroid nose spray, allergy pills, and a nasal wash daily. ALL the while, continuing to have pastel shades of slim oozing from my face. He starts by shoving a 5 or so inch piece of cotton w/ deading stuff on it in my nose with tweezers. Lets that set there for a few, removes it and puts a tube in there w/ a camera on the end. Looks all around, shows Vic all this "disgusting crap" and says that I need a ct scan. He takes me to radiology and lets Ramaldo shoot my nog. Get the pics and says "Whoa, dude, you are freakishly deformed!" Seems the sinus cavities in your cheeks should be a big oven space, but mine are divided almost completely with a big piece of bone (looks like beaver's built a dam in there) AND the drainer holes out are in the wrong place--way too high, so it has to go against gravity to escape. That paired with a few large polyps, and it seems I need to have sinus surgery. SO, he's referring me to UT Southwestern in Dallas and I'm going to try to get my face fixed this summer. Neat. He prescribed me some good ol' Augmentin XR at 1000 mg 2x daily. They are the biggest horse pills! I have to take 2 at a time and thought you needed a visual:



Needless to say, Saturday was no better. Sunday I was lazy. This morning Vic's alarm went off at 2:30 so he could make his 5 a.m. flight outta Amarillo. SO, it's a little after 6 and I'm about to have a fancy dinner of cheese bagel bits and some carrots and go to bed!

I've already been to Amarillo once today (for a workshop) and now, at almost 10 p.m., I'm on my way again. I love that Vic has a job, but I hate taking him to and from the airport! It will be so much better once we move and he can take his own self! He seems to be liking the job, making a few friends. The last 3 weeks he's been in NC and for the next 3 he will be shadowing someone already doing the job he's training for. Next week he'll be in 'Jersey. I have to say, I'm more than a little jealous. I mean, that's Bon Jovi country. Where Tommy used to work on the docks and Gina worked the diner all day. The week of my spring break will be the first week he's back to classroom training in NC, so I'm gonna go hang out in Raleigh for a few days. Don't know what I'm gonna do, maybe explore a little, maybe be really really lazy. Both sound like viable options.

Today is day 2 of Clomid. Cross your fingers and pray for a baby. Next week I start the ovulation predictor kit and once I get a positive, we go in for a little IUI (turkey bastin) and then the wait begins! We've been at this so long that it doesn't even really seem possible that we are (hopefully) getting closer to being parents to someone who isn't fury!

Ok, off to the car. BTW, I really miss XM radio.

I live in a place where this is a normal street sign. But only for 3-4 more months.

SO today Vic texted me to ask me if I spent $200 someodd dollars at "Snapfish." Which I have now discovered is some photo site. The answer was NO, besides the fact that I have never used the credit card it was charged to, I would never spend 200+ on pictures. Of what, Nancy? Myself? NO. So he called the credit card co. and they got it taken care of. But now there is a $220 charge to FTD!!! What the hell kinda criminal steals a credit card number and then sends flowers with it?! I mean, what has this world come to? Anyway, they knew it wasn't us and have closed the account but are letting pending payments come through to try and figure out who is using it. I can't help imagining the senerio....Criminal: "Hey baby, did you get the flower I sent you?" Hoodrat: "What flowers?...oh, and the po-lease came by here looking for you this morning...."

SO I was just sitting in the living room, with the furry ones, and one of my big pictures that was hung on 2 nails came off one nail. It freaked Carson real bad. It was weird. I couldn't get it back up there so I just took it down. This is why I don't like Vic to be gone. I have a husband. He should be here to figure out why the picture came off because it's too heavy and awkward for me to do alone. And Nancy has no thumbs to help.

Vic got the job! He starts Feb 2nd. After that, I will be alone all week and some weekends. Please, anyone, come visit me...

Bernadette can't come until next weekend. It's nice to have company to look forward to.

Two LONG blogs in one day. That's what happens when I'm left alone overnight! I posted this to facebook, but thought that I'd preserve it here as well.

16 Random Things About Me

1. I have NO musical ability at all, but sing to my husband, poodle, and kitties on a daily basis--mostly in the morning when I'm getting ready for work. Typically familiar songs that I've changed to words too. Few others ever hear me do it.

2. I have an unnatural fear of snow. It is not beautiful in any form or fashion.

3. I am happy being fat. I believe in being as healthy as possible at whatever size you are. I believe that sizeism is a rampant form of legal discrimination. For more information, you should go to http://www.naafaonline.com.

4. I love big machines. Cranes, earth movers, trenchers, excavators, tunnel boring machines, even big tractors and cotton harvesters! I'm especially fascinated with this one: http://www.worsleyschool.net/science/files/extreme/excavators.html

5. After loosing my Mom and my Mema 18 months apart, I realize how blessed I have been. I will be eternally thankful to have been adored by them--the love they gave me is not comparable to anything I've ever experienced.

6. Teaching Special Ed is what God called me to do. I've learned to see strengths and run with them--hopefully fast enough to hurdle the weaknesses. In the beginning, I loved my kids for what they were not; but I discovered very quickly that I love them for what they are.

7. I want so very bad to be crafty. I love to make stuff. But everything I know how to do, and that's not much, is stuff I have taught myself. Someday I want to take lessons to learn to sew, paint, arrange flowers, and decorate cakes...just to name a few.

8. All girls catholic boarding school saved my life. I was headed in so many bad directions, but I traded a reckless year in Hobbs, NM for an extraordinary opportunity in Monterey, CA at Santa Catalina. Before that I didn't know that 1. Some people were NOT Christian 2. Gay People were not mythological creatures and 3. I like Opera.

9. I may live in Texas, and grew up only 5 minutes away from the TX boarder, but I do not understand how Texan's got to be so arrogant. Don't get me wrong, I like it here...but every state has great things.

10. I was a vegetarian for several years until I met Vic. I miss it, but he's a serious carnivore and for us to coexist I eat: chicken, turkey, and some beef. Occasionally I eat bacon if it is mixed into something. I REFUSE to eat anything that has EVER lived in water or is still attached to a bone.

11. Las Vegas is one of my favorite places on earth, but I don't gamble. Vegas is the best place in the world to people watch, window shop, eat in fabulous restaurants, AND go to incredible shows. I've seen "O" several times and always cry.

12. I used to play the Sims. I'd play for hours and hours. Sometimes when I was in college I'd play for 8-10 hours at a time. One day a counselor friend of mine said "Stop it! You are playing God and you like it too much!" She was right and I stopped. Cold turkey.

13. I'm a picker. I pick at everything. It's gross and I know it.

14. I love quotes. I keep a quote book. A well placed quote often amuses me more than original thought. I suppose that I like the idea of learning from someone else's experiences.

15. I don't like the way I look without glasses. Though I don't see as well out of contacts, it's really more about vanity.

16. I think my mom was a hippie. She taught me to never wear uncomfortable shoes or clothes, shaving your legs is only a suggestion, make-up is overrated, and that tie dye is beautiful.



“This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” ~Winston Churchill

...Ok, maybe it is the end. ~ME ;)

The Sonic in Pamp-town takes no less than 20 minutes, ever, so I pretty much refuse to go there. My favorite place to get drinks is at "Easy's Pop Shop" but it's a long way from my house (you know, like 4-5 minutes, on the other side of town!) So, I went to Chicken Express for a happy hour drink today, it also lasts until 4:30 which is later than the others. I said "I need an extra-large sweet tea." They brought out a 1/2 gallon cup with a handle like a bucket. I laughed, but secretly I was excited, especially since sweet tea is good the next day if ya put it in the fridge. It's the little things, ya know?

Vic is currently in air to Raleigh, NC for a job interview, though the job is based in TX. It's for a medical software co. and the job is an instructor. Like when a hospital buys their software, he'd go train them to use it. He's already made it through the first 2 rounds of interviews. I really hope he gets it. He desperately wants a job he likes, and I really think this one has potential! He's shy to most, but he's a ham in front of a crowd. He's also very detail orientated, so he's good at teaching things because he remembers the little things. For the interview tomorrow he has to give a presentation. He's been working on it for the last few days. He decided to do "How to Iron a Shirt." It's just to show how he is getting up in front of people. I was shocked that other than just being informative, it's actually quite amusing. He found great pics for his power point and fun facts like that Martha Stewart prefers to iron on the square end of the board rather than the pointy end. It was also good to find out that the 5 people interviewing him are women, so maybe he will score some brownie points for being such a good ironer! Anyway, hope for the best--it sure would be nice to move back to DFW for a job and not just because I'm homesick!

My dear friend Bernadette is coming from Lubbock to stay with us tomorrow. She and I met in kind of a neat way. She's a year older than me and we went to the same Jr. High. It was my first year (7th grade) and I knew who she was, but we had never met. One fall weekend I was in Ruidosa at my grandparents cabin, which had a public stream running through the backyard. I was inside and my grandma came around the corner with Bernadette and I was so shocked that I couldn't even really say anything. Turns out, she and her dad were walking along the stream and started talking to my grandparents who always sat on the deck, they figured out they were all from Hobbs, and that B and I went to school together, so Mema brought her in. We hung out for awhile and exchanged numbers and have been friends ever since.

We don't talk all the time, and in all honesty, she should probably hate me. I was mean to her for a few years. Why was I mean, you ask? Because she has a very strong, outspoken personality that most people are intimidated by. I have always found it rather refreshing and kind of endearing--she has this fiery passion and you always know where she stands. But most of my friends didn't know how to take her, so I was only friends with her on my terms during those really neat high school years so as not to "annoy" any of my other friends. Meaning, I hung out with her just the two of us and actually excluded her on many occasions. Anyway, I have always regretted how I treated her, it's very shameful, because she is a true friend in every since of the word. I'm also not that kind of person, but I think because I trusted her friendship so much, I abused it. So I'm really lucky to still have it. Anyway, I'm excited she is coming--we haven't hung out in years.

I was going to blog about our days in Albuquerque and then our time in DFW for Christmas and New Years...but William's computer said something about "cookies" and I never got it to work, and now it seems like it's been to long to REALLY go into details, so here is my summary:

Albuquerque was cold. The family drank way more than either side of my family ever did at holidays, which made things rather entertaining to sit back and watch. The father-in-law has a new wife that was a little uncomfortable about spending time with the mother-in-law, but over all it was fine. I actually enjoyed my time there. DFW was warm, except in William's house where he had a halogen torch lamp sitting nest to the thermostat keeping it a balmy 67, according to the lying thermostat box. I, who sleeps with a fan on every night, was so cold I was miserable! Had dinner w/ 30ish Matthews Clan Members which was cool. New Year's Eve was spent w/ William, Heather, Vic, Kim, & John Snuffleupagus. Drank a little, ate a little, and went to bed shortly after 12. Did enjoy a round of Quelf which is a damn funny game!

So I've been back to school a week and am already ready for Spring Break. Really I'm just ready to move back home! I also have had green snot for about 3 weeks now. Thought it was going away w/ the Neti Pot & Mucinex, but today I think I may have to go to the Dr. next week...when I get back to DFW I'm getting back on allergy shots!

Most exciting thing to happen this week: got new tires today. Good times.