I slept like 20 hours last night. Not really 20, but I went to bed at 2, got up at 11:30 and then took a nap from 1 to 5. What's that, like 13.5 hours? Let's just see how well I sleep tonight.

So the reason I was up until 2? About 1, when the dog show finished (won by a black poodle, I might ad…though it was just a mere runt compared to my noble beast), I let Nancy outside to do some business. Since she won't do anything other than stand in the window and bark unless I go out there with her, I slipped on some flops and was standing on the patio. What do I see as I peer into the darkness? Yes, Little Bunny Foo Foo. I see him before the poodle does, and as I'm trying to urge her back into the house...SHE'S OFF! Mr. Foo Foo dodges right, Nancy dodges right...Foo runs to the left, Nancy cuts him off. I have never seen a poodle move like that! She would make a cheetah jealous! Finally Foo gets out through the wrought iron fence, but Nancy is bound and determined to get him. SO she starts digging.

I take off though the grass, but I can't see her...she is wearing her night time camouflage...but I can hear her. And I'm steady bitching at her as I'm coming towards her...and she runs. She is running from me, in the middle of the night, in the backyard as I am being attacked by bugs.

So I come inside. She hates to be out there by herself, I just knew that would get her in. I sat on the couch for about 10 minutes waiting for her. No Nancy.

I go back out and chase her again. I need a way to heard her into the house....THE SQUIRT BOTTLE! Yes, that's it...I come back inside, fill it up, and adjust it to its maximum distance. I take off though the grass again, cursing and squirting, and she runs again. Finally I get her up on the porch. I'm winded and furious by now, as you can imagine. She breaks left, I break left; she breaks right, I break right. FINALLY she runs into a chair and is startled enough that she pauses. I make my final move and come in for the kill. I swoop her up (all 45 leggy pounds of her) and rush her into the house.

She never did do any business out there either. Just wabbit hunting. And you know what? Today, every time we go outside...she goes straight to where Mr. Foo Foo made it out of the yard. My poodle has the memory of an elephant, the speed of a cheetah.